People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Humpday Confessions (9-17)

Liz @ Fitness BlondieToday, is Wednesday and you all know what that means! It means that it's Hump Day, and the "Hump Day Blog Hop". This is hosted by Fitness Blondie, an amazing and positive blog I stalk follow. I found a bunch of great new blogs to read, and a lot of new positive bloggers! I have been doing this for a while now and each week, the new bloggers I follow become like new friends... We are a support system of awesome sauce... Are we not?
Go check it out.. and Join in!
Vodka and Soda
I also, ususally link up with Vodka and Soda... I found her through the Hump Day Blog Hop over at the Fitness Blondie! However, the websense at my job has dictated her BANNED, and the reason being SEX. So, I add my link to her blog via my phone... I'm sneaky like that! Vodka and Soda was an instant "I MUST ADD THIS BLOG TO MY FEED"... I recommend you heading over and linking up with her too.. as long as your work firewall allows you too (stupid job).
So without further ado..

My Confessions

http://www.mnu.edu/mnublogs/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/tumblr_inline_mudm6hHRo61rnvwt1.gifI am procrastinating on proof reading - AGAIN... and will do so all week - because I hate it so. With that said, I think I still should be able to get most of it done by Friday - it's a good goal, at least.

The spelling test did in fact come home last night - and it had TWO grades on it. The first grade was the spelling of the actual words on the list and the second grade had to do with sentence structure and correctness. 
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma5nmlDSm01rp1v9uo1_500.gifYes, you read that write, without properly preparing them for what was coming - the teacher read them 3 sentences which encompassed MOST of the spelling words - and some others - and had the 2nd graders WRITE THEM. I have a major issue with this; well actually major issues. Please forgive me, if any of you are teachers, I am not condemning your kind - just this one in particular.The teacher sends home a letter with the graded spelling test - "This is what you should expect from a spelling test". I'm sorry, shouldn't this letter have come home BEFORE the test? So that, I don't know, maybe the students could be properly prepared? No - that sounds silly *SARCASM* Emry did well on the spelling of the List Words - but got 2 out of 4 on sentence structure. He has never been asked to write full sentences before the beginning of this year - and trying to test a small child - in a large group - on their listening comprehension - is asinine. Yeah, maybe the second marking period - but the 2nd week of school? Without proper notice? You got to be joking me. But, I digress. Now that we know what to expect - a little late mind you - I will be quizzing Emry on the spelling words by reading him sentences containing them. *Twitch* *Twitch*

http://media.tumblr.com/49edde38dd2ee3e470e473735b037fed/tumblr_inline_n7dc4yCmQV1s5jo86.gifLast night, we skipped karate, so I could come home - get some required housework done, and so Emry could decompress. Last week he was engaged for 6 out of the 7 days - rapid fire schedule - no relaxation - So, I figured one day off, would be in his benefit!

http://bookriotcom.c.presscdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/obviously-rdj.gifI may have had loaded tater tots for dinner last night - they may have had a couple spoonfuls of Salsa, a slice of cheese and some spicy seasonings - they may have - and totally were delicious. I have no regrets.

http://www.blogforchoice.com/No%20not%20gonna%20happen.gifI confess that I secretly hate other mothers - I really do. Just because I'm a mom - doesn't mean we are going to be bosom buddies. Just because our kids are on the same soccer team, and we both send them to after school activities - does not mean they're going to be best friends either. If they chose to be - then fine - but, I am not pushing my son on anyone - especially when he tells me how this kid laughs at others - and says things that hurts peoples feelings. Nope - she may be cute and cuddly on the outside to her mother - but all the kids see her for the bully she is. Sorry not Sorry - no playdates from this mom.

There is a bread buffet in our break room - of fresh baked breads from the local bakery - It smells delicious - I just want to eat ALL of it. 

http://media.tumblr.com/7852fde2434ee042d267046f22e51b1e/tumblr_inline_n02pirNkAx1rzlc6h.gifI am totally rocking my winter suede boots with fur trim today - They are comfy - and warm. And my legs appreciate them - especially since I could see my breath while pumping my gas this morning.

I'm sorry - I saw my breath this morning - WHY IS IT THIS COLD? Jeez louise - Mother nature, get your $#!T together - either it's WARM or COLD - none of this Freezing mornings - Hot Afternoon bull$#!ts - Don't make me come find you!


http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln00uxVWdM1qlw87mo1_500.gifI brake checked this loser who was riding my butt this morning during the commute - There is traffic moron - give me a little distance - Oh wait - I can help you with that - Do you need me to find you an extra pair of pants? Because I know you totally soiled yourself after I scared you with my brake lights. I'm not even sorry - not a little bit- If I can see the plaque on your grimy yellow teeth - you are DRIVING TOO CLOSE TO ME.

These are my confessions! What are yours?
Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Stacks, Chops, and They live happily ever after!

Yesterday was the busiest day ever.
Yes - Katelynn - I do write my posts at work. HAHAHA. It does pass the time.

http://chelseapraiseswithdance.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/paper-toss1.gifBut, honestly, I have this STACK of papers on my desk. And it's real work - not just "pass the time" work. And - it's the worst kind of work: PROOF READING. I hate proof reading, mostly because I am pretty good at it.

Don't let this blog fool you - my typos here come from rapid fire writing, and me not having enough time to proof read it - and spell check it.

When I have to proof read - for someone else - I find typos up the WAZOO. And I find so many - that it usually takes me quite awhile to go through.

The person who I proof read for, once a year mind you, is an ASS HAT. He does not take pride in his job, nor does he take the time to proof read his work. This is my opinion - because when I go to check his work - I spend HOURS on one section.

There is at least 21 sections, and each section ranges between 10 & 30 pages. I can't spend HOURS on each one.

https://www.americarisingpac.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Hagan-i-dont-like-you.gifI loathe the man. I honestly do.

My job is mostly statistics, and spreadsheets - and lists upon lists upon lists. I love that part of my job. It is the best.

But, this time of the year - this aspect - UGHK. Do I have to? Really? Can't I just type it myself, and cut this dude out all together?

ASS HAT: that's what he is.

So I am procrastinating - which is not what I should be doing - but, I'm doing it.
I check my email and I have an email from Klay, subject line "I love you."

I roll my eyes - I know this is going to be funny.

The email has a meme:

I just about spit out my water - Let me show you a picture of my lovely man. 
 

 

Do you understand why I laughed so hard? His chops are SO big, they almost touch the goatee. They almost connect to make a DAMN BEARD. but, they don't. And let me tell you - these things have grown LARGER AND LARGER since we got together. 

SO - yeah - he loves me. He won't shave - but he loves me. Hahaha

http://media.giphy.com/media/sGpHE1wS1PFWo/giphy.gifLast night we had Soccer practice, which went really great. Well, for me it did - The parents got to play the kids for the last 20 minutes of practice. Me, in my work dress, with my work boots on - playing soccer - and doing pretty well if you ask me. The other moms (who were in jeans mind you) sat and watched as me, the coach (also a chick) and 3 dads SCHOOLED the kids. Well - we showed them what team work looked like. Yes, that's what happened, and that's the story I am sticking too.

When we got home, Emry had a Chicken Taco and a salad - and I made myself a "finger food" dinner. I had 3 ounces of chicken, cut up into bite sized pieces, a handful of red peppers, handful of carrot slices, a handful of cucumber slices, 2 tsps of hummus and a teeny side salad (with 1 tsp of Salsa). It was the kind of dinner I could eat, while walking around, doing the mom thing, helping Emry with his homework - and quizzing him for his "Fairy Tale" test.

Let me talk about this briefly - 
He learned 3 fairy tales:
  1. The Fisherman and his Wife
  2. Beauty and the Beast
  3. The Emperor's New Clothes
He was not sent home with any worksheets on this - nor did the teacher let us know which versions were taught. She sent home a study guide last night, letting us know there would be a quiz on Wednesday - and the test was structured in the following ways.

SO - the only thing we have to review from is the study guide. Which in my opinion was lacking.
The study guide asked
  1. Where did each story take place?
  2. Who was your favorite Character?
  3. Do you think the Beast being enchanted was to teach him a good lesson?
  4. and another question just as trivial.
http://media.tumblr.com/c78aac1ff338413f1ebe6e4dc25829ba/tumblr_inline_nbqe7g6cqD1srxpkc.gif So - last night, we talked about the stories with Emry - to see how much he knew about them. And for me to try and figure out which versions he was taught - so that I can read them myself - to make sure he has his facts straight.

The teacher wants the kids to learn for themselves - and I am for that. I really am.
But - how am I, as a parent, supposed to check, quiz, and help my child from home - without any help?

Also - he had a spelling test on Friday of last week - I am hoping to be able to see how he did, like today. I was surprised when it wasn't sent home on Monday Night. That's another thing I noticed, from his First Grade teacher. They don't hand ANYTHING back anymore. They hold all of it for parent/teacher conference time. It makes sense - so you have something to talk about, and she has proof of your child and their capabilities. But, again - how am I supposed to help him at home - when I don't know how he is doing on tests?

https://emptystress.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/pet-peeves.gifLittle pet peeve of mine. Can you tell?

So - I'm off - to tackle this stack of papers.
Perhaps a fire is in order - What papers? You never gave me any papers? The office smells like burning paper? NO it doesn't. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Monday Morning Recap (9-15)

Wow what a weekend - whirlwind of a weekend.

I took the day off of work (and blogging) Friday to go with Klay to apply for our MARRIAGE LICENSE. Yeah - big deal - I know - Now that's out of the way - Let's continue (hehehehehee).

The rest of the day was spent sort of lounging - doing some house work - And running a couple of errands.

FRIDAY EVENING

Emry tested for his purple belt in TKD on Friday Evening. His test went amazing. He really put a lot of effort into each aspect of the test - from stretching - to form - to sparring - to board break. He was so focused and disciplined for the test, that he received the BEST OVERALL award for that night's testing. It was AMAZING. He was very excited.

After testing, we scooted over to Men's Wearhouse to get Emry fitted for his tuxedo. And let me tell you - LADIES - He's a heart breaker. That's my little man - all in a tuxedo jacket. I couldn't take it. Too stinking cute.

We met up with my friend (and bridesmaid) Rosalie and Samantha (my flower girl) - for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wing's - I had a Mediterranean Salad with Chicken - dressing on the side - and only really ate half of it.


http://caseywasthere.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/img_1048-e1369441318303.jpg?w=400&h=323BUT - I did have one of their WILD BLOODY MARY'S. Which was SUPER tasty. They dust the rim of the cup with their desert heat dry rub, and then make a killer Bloody Mary with Absolut Pepar. There was a huge celery stick and PICKLE in it. Very enjoyable and oddly refreshing.

SATURDAY

We woke up on Saturday and got Emry to the soccer field. He had team and individual photos at 10a and then a game at 11a.

It was overcast for the pictures - which was okay by me - it was VERY cold though. We all had hoodies, shawls, cloaks, hats and scarves on - WOW was the wind chilly. During the game, it just got worse - the SKIES OPENED UP - and the kids were all drenched. By the end of the game Emry looked like he had survived the Titanic. Completely soaked HEAD TO TOE.

https://38.media.tumblr.com/33996f9ed3b09ebc262058a8bdb093ba/tumblr_naif8mGnqk1sheo7ho1_500.gifWe got home - changed into dry clothes - and proceeded to get Tomato Soup and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches into our bellies - Rainy Days = Warm Comfort Foods. Especially since we were caught in it - I was so scared we were all going to catch a cold.

Once we were dry, fed, and happy - we went to my friend, Sarah's house for an Art Show. She was showing (and selling) a lot of her work. She is trying to raise money to go to a retreat in Guatemala. Since it was for a good cause, I brought my checkbook with me, with the intention of buying something. When I walked in to her home - the first wall I saw - was a fall filled with DREAM CATCHERS. If you all remember, my sister (who bailed on my wedding) was supposed to make dream catchers to line the aisles for the ceremony. Even after the fall out - she stated she would still make them and get them to me by the end of the month. But, I told her that wasn't important to me - And I was secretly reeling about what I was going to do with HALF of the dream catchers.... Well - low and behold - Sarah had made the EXACT number of dream catchers I needed. Sold - I'll buy all of them - SOLD SOLD SOLD. We also bought a cool mug for Klay and Emry picked out this amazing piece of pottery called "Jungle Dreams".

We drove home - in the rain - and had to stop at the grocery store for a couple items I had forgotten to add to my list. And as we pulled into the parking lot. It stopped raining - the sun came from behind the dark clouds - it was eerie and beautiful - And then We saw a COMPLETE rainbow - I've never seen one. I could see the beginning and the end - unfortunately - it was so HUGE - I couldn't capture it on one picture. *SIGHS* It was SUPER COOL.

SUNDAY

We dropped Emry off at Klay's parents and then we proceeded to spend the day at the Renaissance day - Another chilly morning - So Fall Hat was in Full effect, along with the warmest Faire Garb I owned. We did our volunteer work, met up with one of my friend's and spent the rest of the day looking around - and having a great time.

We picked up Emry - had a late dinner together - Loaded Hot Dog Bar - Not lying, it happened, and it was awesome. I packed the food for the week - showered - packed my vitamins - did a load of laundry - and went to bed.

MONDAY MORNING

I was up and ready to go! No - that's a lie -  I was a zombie this morning - but I got all my stuff together, got in the car and proceeded to do a killer 90 minute workout. The first thing I did was cardio - I ran on the treadmill for 60 minutes, and achieved 6.34 miles - I then did a cooldown walk and managed 7.06 in 70 minutes. Felt amazing! Afterwards, I did some light arm work and some leg presses - and LOTS of stretching.

Need to start wearing a less baggy shirt to the gym - I notice in pictures that it just isn't very flattering - but it is SO comfy. Meh - they're just workout clothes - Right?

And here I am now - with PILES of work surrounding me - That I actually have to get to.
UGH - Pray for my SANITY!

How was your weekend?

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thursday - 9/11/2014

The only thing I have to say about the date is exactly what I said on my personal Facebook page:

This day should be spent in silence and reflection, surrounded by family and good friends.
At 8:46am - take a moment and remember where you were 13 years ago.
At 9:03am - now take a moment and say a prayer, send good energy, or thoughts to someone you know who is still dealing with the aftermath of this day.
Never Forget

In my opinion, today means a lot of different things, to different people - we all deal with this part of our history a different way - so, instead of a post about today, I want to send some positivity and happiness out - as today is a day where more is needed.

SO - Here it goes -

A Random List Of Things That Make Me Smile

http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/60718-Baby-Feet.pngEmry's feet - ever since he was a baby his feet have been the cutest (and also stinkiest) things I have ever seen (or smelled - for that matter.) When he was a baby, it was because they were bigger than the rest of his body - and when he was able to walk - they were flat like Fred Flinstone, and you could hear him coming like a heard of Buffalo. Up until he hit 4 years old, his feet were like an extra set of hands - he was like a monkey, he could pick stuff up with them. Not so much now - but, now, it's the fact that his long slender feets - have the chubbiest piggy toes. Sorry kiddo, you inherited my toes.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x8CgxwuvFvA/Tb848W-HjKI/AAAAAAAAA2s/z_KXVVn9cV8/s1600/tumblr_lhoyvkU5AB1qcrw6yo1_500_large.jpgCute old couples - you know what I'm talking about. I can usually spot them anywhere - that one elderly married couple, that walk through a grocery store holding hands. Or exchange a glance that just radiates the amount of love and devotion they have for each other. I can't help but smile - I can't help but wonder what their story is - how long they have had this special love. 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdplsus3qu1r5c792o1_r1_250.gifMini Pigs - This should not require an explanation. But, I will let you know, whenever I see a picture, or a video or a gif that has a mini pig in it - I can't help but letting out my own personal squeal of delight. They are just TOO adorable. And if you are on facebook, look up Priscilla the Mini Pig - just saying - totally worth it.

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/wiscnews.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/f/8b/f8b412e2-0e45-11e0-862e-001cc4c002e0/4d12c3fe689b4.image.gif?resize=620%2C414Yard Sales, Antique Stores, Vintage Boutiques, and the like - It's like an adventure, it's like - I don't know, treasure hunting. You never know what you are going to find. Not going to lie, I sort of feel like I'm on that show - American Pickers. And, even if I go to one of these places with no intention of buying anything - you know, just to treasure window shop - I still get a kick out of interesting pieces. What is especially cool - to me - is Antique Toys - it makes me think about the children that played with them - when this simple piece was the HIT toy - the thing all of the kids wanted. Very nostalgic.

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--q4pUQodZ--/19dv22dqci54egif.gifThe Smell of Good Food - Now, not just ANY food - but a restaurant that you know makes WONDERFUL food. When you pull into the parking lot, or your at a traffic light near it - and you inhale - Man, Oh Man - you know what I mean, yes? The smell of warmth and savory and sauces and spices - That inhale is always followed by a huge smile. I'm a foodie (For Life).

http://www.doseoffunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/funny-kid-gifs-cat.gifBabies - Something about LITTLE BABIES gets me every time. EVER SINGLE TIME. Maybe it's me remembering Emry being that small - maybe it's just because little babies in little clothes are just the cutest thing ever. But - little babies (and even some toddlers) I become a puddle of smiling mush.

Klay kissing the back of my neck - Now yes, your loved one kissing you SHOULD induce smiles all the time - But, there is something very VERY special about when he kisses the back of my neck. He makes a (private) show of it. Brushes my hair out of the way, and eases in to it. Even before it happens - I'm already ear to ear. It's one of the sweetest things he does. 

Emry reading to me - Emry is already an excellent reader - and his HW every night is 30 minutes of reading (either aloud or to himself). Whenever he reads to me - I sit back and smile with amazement. I made that kid - in my belly (not really my belly - but you know) - and this is what he is doing now.

http://thumbs4.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mEtHU7CqKNM99xEzoz5oxfA.jpgDragonflies - They are silly looking, always interestingly colored - and in my mind, are good luck. Whenever I see one - I imagine they're real life Fairies. I know, that sounds pretty silly, but - how much closer to a fairy can you really get? 

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/stardem.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/1/b2/1b2c36fa-251f-11e2-bd41-0019bb2963f4/5094178673374.image.jpgSunshine through the leaves of a tree - That moment when the sun has finally crested high enough that it is shining through the trees - illuminating the leaves - giving the soft glow to the morning. It's peaceful - it's calming. It's almost magical.

http://thecynicalslayer.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/excited-amy-adams-in-cute-dress-reaction-gif.gifA great story - whether it be in a book, or one being shared by a friend - heck, even from the blogs I read - If someone is really animated with conveying a story - I can't help but smile through the whole thing. I probably look really goofy. But, I enjoy it and it makes my day!


That's just to name a few - I could go on for hours about the random things that make me smile.

Spread some more happiness - Tell me - What makes you smile?

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Hump Day Confessions (9-10)

Liz @ Fitness BlondieToday, is Wednesday and you all know what that means! It means that it's Hump Day, and the "Hump Day Blog Hop". This is hosted by Fitness Blondie, an amazing and positive blog I stalk follow. I found a bunch of great new blogs to read, and a lot of new positive bloggers! I have been doing this for a while now and each week, the new bloggers I follow become like new friends... We are a support system of awesome sauce... Are we not?
Go check it out.. and Join in!
Vodka and Soda
I also, ususally link up with Vodka and Soda... I found her through the Hump Day Blog Hop over at the Fitness Blondie! However, the websense at my job has dictated her BANNED, and the reason being SEX. So, I add my link to her blog via my phone... I'm sneaky like that! Vodka and Soda was an instant "I MUST ADD THIS BLOG TO MY FEED"... I recommend you heading over and linking up with her too.. as long as your work firewall allows you too (stupid job).
So without further ado..

MY CONFESSIONS

So yesterdays complete breakdown in sanity - and the emotional puddle I left behind - well - was clearly hormone fueled - Guess what joyous thing I got this morning. SO let's do some Common Core Math shall we?

http://media.giphy.com/media/HU6BWUTYuIet2/giphy.gifSUPER MOON 
AUNT FLO IN TRANSIT 
= CRAY CRAY KAT

Yeah, I just used cray cray - because honestly, that is how I felt - COMPLETELY. My body still feel horrid - and I still have all those stressors, but this morning, there is a sense of relief. 

VENT SPREE + AUNT FLO  ARRIVAL = VERY CALM KAT

So - I am hoping that in the next 25 days - that I will truly just settle in, and focus on all those wonderful comments that were made yesterday - Focus on the MARRIAGE, not the WEDDING. Focus on the Man who is in front of me - Not the one who tried to break me. Focus on the Love - the Excitement - and the Fun. Because - after all is said and done - that is what will be there. Am I right ladies?

Speaking of Common Core - I am in a very heated (and healthy) debate about this currently with a close acquaintance. Now - like it or not - Common Core Math is here - and it's staying. What are my personal views on it? I really don't have any. This is the way they want Emry to learn - and he will not pass if he doesn't learn it - THUS, I'm learning it as well. However, I also back up his teaching with the way I learned it - merely as a way of double checking the answers. I think it's good parenting either way. 
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llz4i7wbnH1qan4hk.gifThis mom - she is okay with her son taking no credit on exams - as long as he learns the "old" way. The answer is all that she cares about. I'm sorry - I don't agree - The understanding is important - getting the right answer IS important - but, the reasoning the common core is attempting to use - is ALSO important... oh, and here's the big thing PASSING MATHEMATICS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. Sorry not sorry - I won't fight the tide on MATH - not worth my energy. She is spitting mad because I do not agree - but, well, you know - Why you mad bro? *giggles*

http://24.media.tumblr.com/ad1c6e1ba0f74e80a54995f0f7c53ed8/tumblr_mxemcpmKVS1sq85i2o4_500.gifI finally got the seating diagram from the venue - thank goodness - so, now I can officially send my guest list and entree selections to the venue. I love being able to LET IT GO... Oh yeah, I went there - TOTALLY WENT THERE. I'm going to be even more excited when I can unload ALL of the wedding crafts and builds and EVERYTHING into this woman's office - so SHE can set it up - JUST LETTING IT GO! HAHAHAHA

I am going to do a mild detox for the next 7-10 days - just to rid myself of all the processed foods I've been shoveling in my face  eating. I am going to get back to the basics - and just remember why I started. My body and it's health is super important to me - and I am not going to let (even the tastiest) processed food come between me and my health! So this detox isn't anything major - I can eat raw fruits and veggies - warm broths - the required protein for my body - and lots of water. I've done it a couple times in the past - and it's a great reset. 

http://25.media.tumblr.com/1c2c8eeb3ce9bde804c1622179e5226b/tumblr_mf9oku8vKS1qbfllso1_500.gifMy dad (accidentally - allegedly) broke my favorite HUGE water bottle. Fancy 25 ounce glass one - It was my FAVORITE. I will learn to live without it - I may have shed a tear when I saw it broken in the garbage. 

http://urbanjunglefashion.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/iggy-azalea-clueless-fancy-gif.gifMy run this morning was EPIC. Seriously EPIC - whatever happened on Monday, was obviously a fluke - because it didn't even attempt to happen today - AND I managed 6.31 miles in 60 minutes and then I walked 0.69 miles in 10 minutes (to cool down) - so that's 7 miles in 70 minutes AND THAT AIN'T BAD! I was really kind of impressed with that - I may have strutted out of the fitness room. 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TXV2yzHCOwo/UjHx0HFEmgI/AAAAAAAABqw/JdqJYkbmEE0/s1600/thatd-be-great-ffqcxw.jpgAlso: I was the only one at my desk at start time - why is that? I left at O'Dark Thirty in the morning - and got here BEFORE the wicked accident on the highway - that made everyone 3 hours late. Mwa-hahaha - Mwa-hahahaha. Now - If I can figure out a way to avoid ALL commuting accidents - that be great!

http://infamousphysiques.com/storage/42.gif?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1358998673916OH - I hate when people call my lifestyle a DIET - Last night, someone told me how amazing it is that I committed to this DIET for almost 2 years - and I just blinked - You can't diet for 2 years. You LIVE. That's it? Right?
 

Those are my confessions - What are yours?





Tuesday, September 9, 2014

A post with no title

You ever not know exactly what to title a post?
You know you want to write - and vent - and just empty your brain, but, the proper words to sum it all up into a title just don't come to mind.

Braindump Tuesday?
WARNING WARNING - BRAIN EXPLOSION?

Seems like a waste of good writing thinking up a proper title, no?

I'm stressing out. Even though I don't want to.
I just feel overwhelmed - and I can't get in control of my life.
The wedding is so stinking close, and every thought of it freaks me out even further.
I want to be calm. I want to be focused. I just want to workout - because I like to workout.

Every time I enter a gym, hit the ground or the treadmill - I feel it's for the freaking wedding.
And that's not what it is. That's not what it should be.

It used to be about being healthy - and somewhere in there - the wedding bug snuck in, and it was about being the size 4 - being the tiny bride - being a number...

And then, I hated to do it.
Even by challenging myself to run farther, and harder....
Just started to HATE IT.
And then I hate myself for hating it.

I just want to LIVE.
Live without fear
Without Regret
Live life fully and healthy
Not feel controlled by a size - or a portion - or a food - or NOT a food.

Live Laugh Love?
I want to live like that again...

As we get closer - I tried to force myself - YOU ARE GOING TO DO THIS - AND THIS WILL WORK - YOU WILL FIGHT THROUGH.

You will be positive
You will get through this
STOP FOCUSING ON THE WEDDING - oh wait, need to return that email about the WEDDING.

HOW DO YOU NOT FOCUS ON IT - WHEN YOU CAN THROW A BASEBALL TO IT - THAT'S HOW CLOSE IT IS.

How do you do your job effectively - when all you are thinking about are the details.

How do you effectively be the mom, house cleaner, chauffeur, etc. etc. etc. when all you want to do is just crawl in a ball and DIE?

Well, not die, but sleep - the only thing not stress inducing is SLEEP.

I swear - the most fun - was watching Football with Emry, after doing Yardwork on Sunday - The lazy days - are my favorite - they feel the most NORMAL.

When did life become an endless string of doing this project, this volunteer thing, this playdate, this practice, this game, this , and this, and THIS?

I want to get back to the lazy days.
Doing things for ENJOYMENT - not necessity.
Not budgeting and planning and micromanaging every aspect of a day.

I also feel that as the wedding come closer - that everything is falling apart around me.
I am so overwhelmed and unfocused that things seem to be falling by the wayside... and even though I am letting them occur - I am stressing about it.

My OCD is pretty severe - and keeping that level of OCD on too many areas - creates a lot of tension - because, I'm not superhuman - I can't do it all - and I know that - but I still feel AWFUL - and OVERWHELMED.

And there is no helping that.

SO - here I am - with all of this just OUT there - And - I don't feel any different - It's not like Frozen - I can't just LET IT GO - I say it - And it doesn't move off of me. It still weighs me down... Like an extra person pushing me down - pulling at me - climbing on my back and staying there.

And, the idea of getting remarried - that has started bothering me, as well... Different situation - Different person (both him and me) - but .... I'm scared.

Utterly scared.
That I'm going to lose it all again.
That if we do this - it becomes REAL.
And the last time I had this level of real... it all fell apart.

Getting the license on Friday.
And I can't tell you the level of stress....
And Klay is all - whatevs about it...
Of course he is - he doesn't have the baggage about this situation that I do.
The baggage that I can't seem to let go of.
The baggage that hides in the background - reminding me of how bad it used to be.
The person I was - looking at me - reminding me how bad it could be.

Doubt.
Fear.
Sadness
Pressure
Overwhelming

I want this.
I know it's different.
But - it isn't.

Right now, it isn't.
It's scary as anything.

 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Weekend Recap (9-8) aka: Why can't every weekend be a three day weekend?

Hello Friends! I'm back, after a too short, definitely not long enough weekend.
Did you spend yours with friends/family? Did you make some memories? Yes? GOOD!

Let's get to it! Let's get this Monday STAAAAAAAAARTED!

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxir1zIuHX1r2iswv.gif 

FRIDAY NIGHT

Friday night was spent doing the normal "School is in Session - Friday Night" Activities. I cleaned the house and I prepared the meal for the week. With the holiday weekend last week, we were able to make the meal prep last until Friday. Total Score. This week, we are having Southwest Chicken Salad, in a Low-Carb Fiesta Wrap with a cold zucchini apple autumn salad. (Recipes and pictures coming - keep an eye out). 

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2c/60/4b/2c604b95c7dc3ff3580113d73db439a3.jpgThe chicken salad didn't take too long - neither did the cold salad. So I placed them in large containers - and moved on to the cleaning. 

I scrubbed my bathroom until it sparkled. Does anyone have those tempered glass shower doors? The ones that no matter how hard you try - how hard you scrub - it seems that the soap scums just WON'T come off? Yeah, I do too.. don't you just want to break it? Like every time you clean it? I'm all Lady Macbeth on it - but finally, I was able to get it to an acceptable clean/clear ratio. We know what I'm talking about... right?

After the vacuuming, and kitchen cleaning was done - so was I. We watched some bad TV, and I really think that was the extent of my evening.

SATURDAY

Emry's first soccer game was at 9am on Saturday morning, it was a cool cloudy day and the game was AMAZING. 4 goals scored in the first 3 quarters. We are leading 4-0 and then - the SUN comes out - And when it did, the heat sucked the life out of each and every one of our players! Ending score 4-2... we still won, but man oh man - could the sun have waited another 12 minutes? PUHLEASE? Emry had a fantastic time, and Klay's mom showed up during the 2nd quarter. Which was really sweet of her. 

Can you see him? He's to the right of the Queen!
When we got home, it was time for Klay and Emry to run to faire. We were going to spend the day at home, however, my son was REQUESTED by the stage director and others to become the Queen's PAGE for a day. So - basically - my son got to ACT for most of the day on Saturday. How super cool is that? Klay couldn't volunteer - because he had to follow Emry around and keep an eye on him. Yes, he was surrounded by his grandfather, and a bunch of our closest friends - however, one can never be too careful. Am I right?

While the menfolk were out - I stayed home and packaged the food for the week into the individual containers. I did a few loads of laundry - picked up around the house - and for the most part just relaxed. I have been feeling the need to spend the weekends as calmly as possible. The wedding is  (now) 27 days away - and I need to stay calm. Sorry not Sorry volunteer group - my sanity is most important!

Klay and Emry met me later on at my flower girls FIRST Cheerleading experience! The first game of the season! She was super cute, and we had a lot of fun watching her - up until the skies OPENED. Wizard of OZ had nothing on what we got caught in. WE WERE DRENCHED!

We all went to Rosalie's house - and got as dry as we could - and then went out to dinner. 

Which in the beginning seemed like it was going to be AWESOME. For my appetizer, I got a squash soup with garlic cream. It was SO stinking tasty - lots of layers of flavor.

And for dinner, I ordered the chicken piccata - notice there is no picture of this - well, that's because it was AWFUL - the chicken was over cooked, and the sauce was lacking... Klay said his chicken marsala was the same way. SO DISAPPOINTING!

Emry got spaghetti and meatballs - and ate them as every child should. SLURPING NOODLES! 
 
Overall, the time with our friends made up for the lackluster food experience. 

SUNDAY

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz34idLiej1r8ripqo4_250.gifThe alarm goes off - and we start to get ready to go to NYRF - and then Emry tells me. I don't want to go mama, I'm sleepy. Deal - no problem - Go on Klay - This kid and I are staying home! Twist my arm? Nope - I willingly gave in.

I had a day of nothingness in my head - I was blissful - Football and Nothingness! And then - I looked outside.

The torrential rains from the night before wreaked havoc on our Willow tree. Our tree is slowly dying, and I don't think there is anything we can really do about it. I have to call a tree service in, perhaps get a better idea of how long we are looking at. **SIGHS**

SO - Emry and I spent 3 hours of our morning - Taking as much of the fallen branches of the willow apart - and dragging them into a pile so they can be dried - and burned.

To make room for the fallen branches of the willow - I had to burn some of the old branches that had been sitting for a while. You think it be easy to burn branches and twigs that have been drying for two months and sitting under a tarp? NOPE. I couldn't get these things to catch for the life of me. And, I'm not going to lie, I was getting super frustrated. What did I end up doing? I got some kindling from our indoor firewood supply - a couple pieces of charcoal for the BBQ - and some (and I'm totally not kidding) lighter fluid. 

Yup - it caught after that - I even had so much FIRE that I was able to dispose of a large pile of leaves that Emry and I had raked up! So nice - I'm pretty sure my neighbors didn't like the huge billows of smoke that were coming from the backside of my house.. but, It's FALL - and we take care of our own property - no one comes and cleans it up FOR us. So - there you go. 

After the fire had burned down and the ashes were a light smolder - Emry and I showered - got changed out of our yard work clothes - and proceeded to go to pick up FOOTBALL FOOD.

We stopped by our favorite Taco Spot - and then to Hoopla for some frozen yogurt. 
Once we had our provisions - we sat in front of the TV - Kicked our feet up - and Watched ALL of the Jets game - the ending of the Patriots game - and MOST of the San Fran game. YAY FOOTBALL SUNDAYS!!!! 

We had to take a break so Emry could eat dinner and wash up for bed - But, in the long run that was our day.

Dad and Klay came home shortly after I got Emry to bed. I packed my bag for the next day - got my vitamins ready - and went to sleep.

I had a super mega headache, so I was in bed by 930pm - and I'm pretty sure the headache was from all of the outdoor spoors. The burned wood, and leaves and nature - I think I took in a little too much. 
UGH - MY HEAD.

MONDAY MORNING - BE PREPARED FOR A LITTLE TMI

I woke up at 440am - got ready for work - made sure my gym bag was completely packed - cleaned up after Emmitt (Emry's gold fish - still kicking after 2 weeks - amazing right?) And I was in the Car by 515am - In the gym by 630am - And then I ran.

9 min 20 sec miles **sighs**
Oh man, and was I running too - And then, around 49 minutes or so - my stomach felt SUPER bloated - and I got that feeling that I had to PEE super bad - Super sorry for the TMI here - but, it came out of NOWHERE - like I hadn't pee'd in MONTHS - And before I knew what was going on - I had to run to the bathroom. **SIGHS** needless to say, I'm going to have to wash my workout clothes tonight - but, WHAT ON EARTH? I was able to get back to the treadmill to take a picture of the run - but, seriously, what am I? Elderly? That has NEVER happened. So gross - Feel gross.

I was able to shower in the locker room - but still, I'm utterly embarrassed and thus, feel gross. Has this happened to any of my running friends? I mean, I pee before I start any of my runs - Anyone have an answer for this?

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vvMR92fkvmY/U73IbN-RDWI/AAAAAAAAGE0/SYmt3AhjYMM/s1600/Box-Of-Shame-Sadness-Reaction-Gif.gifUGH - you know I trust all of you, when I admit this on a blogpost.

So now, here I am - at my desk - and determined to get some work done. 
What are your Monday Plans?