Everything has finally settled down, to an odd calmness.
Life has just became utterly peaceful.
I know what to expect from my days, and I enjoy that.
There are no hidden surprises, no arguments waiting for me.
I have finally got into a good pattern.
And as I look across the couch, I see my happiness.
I generally find happiness, in myself, in my son...
But, this, this is different, with Him. I don't have to try with him.
I don't have to worry about doing something stupid, and him just flipping out.
He gets that everything is a process, that you have to love every part of a person... the good and the bad.
I have never quite met someone like Him, he's just 100% unique.
Truly what a man is supposed to be, and then some.
And that is not to say that he isn't a normal male, with all the bodily sounds, and scratching.. and you know, MAN STUFF. He's that too... but, with all of the good attributes, the normal male ones, don't bother me.
He has been such an amazing influence on my kid too...
We're our own type of family. Truly.
I didn't even ask for it, my love just did it on his own.
And here we are... almost 5 months later... and we have "high hopes" for this.
It's good to know, and not feel pressured by it... that we will take our time, and just truly immerse ourselves in one another.
We have discussed taking vacations... we have gone places together...
This is how life should be.
This is what I have always searched for.
I do wonder about why he is with me.
I do wonder what is so special about me that keeps his interest.
My self esteem has always been low... so, I am learning to overcome this need to find a problem within "perfection".
I look towards the future.
We'll see where this goes.
But, until tomorrow... I remain ...
Just a girl.. trying to make it through this life