I check my stats for this blog, before I begin a post, and yesterday, I had a BOOM of readers.
With that said,
The joys of motherhood are going to be posted right now.
Now, everyone told me, that being a mother was hard.
I was told that there would be some sleepless nights.
Hell, I think I was prepared for the worst for everything that concerned my infant/toddler.
NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR THE AGE OF 4.
At the age of 4, you have a throught process, you know a good amount of verbage, and at the age of 4, is where the attitude begins.
Not always a bad attitude, just attitude in general. Individuality starts, and when you start to define yourself as a person (even a little person), that's when the defiance starts.
The... I don't wanna...... You can't make me.... You're wrong.....
My son, I'm not sure if I want to reference his name, but let's call him Emry, decided that yesterday was one of those days to test the proverbial waters.
It is 6:30p and it is time to start our nightly bed routine. Bath time then bed time.
SIDE NOTE: You may think that's early, but he's in bed by 7p, and usually asleep by 730p. As long as he is in his bed (or his room for that matter) I'm okay.
Ok back to my point, I say to Emry, "Time to clean up, time for bed."
"Mama, I want a pretzel."
Now normally I would give him a pretzel, it's not a big deal, there are worse snacks.
But, it's bedtime, and about an hour earlier he had chosen a juice pop (we make them!) over the pretzel.
So I say, "No, not tonight but..."
I was going to say the following But you can have one tomorrow on the way to school however, I was interrupted by this sound.. It almost sounds like the noise a cat makes when shaken, or spun. (if you don't know the noise, please just imagine)... or even better... like a nasal car engine unable to turn over.
I spin and I look at him, and he is full tantrum, in under 15 seconds.
No way, no how, that doesn't play in my home.
I don't like to give him time outs, not by himself at least, I don't see how that works... So, I do my own version of a modified time out. I sit with him on the steps. I tell him what our goal is, what I expect, be it an apology or something he should be thinking about.
This works. 99% of the time.
Last night, no way. The exact opposite.
He grew angry, more defiant. Hell, he licked me, because he knows biting isn't an option, and that I'll bite him back. (another trick, you're kid will never do anything to you, if you let them know they'll get it back. No one really likes to get what they dish.)
So, he licks me. (super yuck).
Then he tries to throw himself from the stairs, head dive towards the floor... didn't happen though, I had him by the pants before he left the stairs.
Then after 20 minutes, I got my apologies (For licking, talking back, and being rude).
Then we started bedtime.
I thought I was out of the woods. I thought at least bath time would be okay.
Was it full moon last night? He was completely out of character.
He got over excited by his new animal song CD, and began banging on the CD player.
SIDE NOTE: CD player was not my idea, I think he's too young for one, my ex-mother in law bought it, didn't consult me, and it was brought in the house, so, it would be wrong of me to just snatch it away, it would make me look like the bad guy. I'm only the bad guy, when I truly need to be. I'll learn to live with the Lightning McQueen CD Player.
I told him not to, he stopped, and then quickly banged on a button, and then walked away, glancing at me from his peripherals. I lost it. My calm, was gone, the entire stair time washed away... I was angry.
I put him to bed without a bath, telling him that I was so disappointed and wouldn't have my buttons pushed (no pun intended) by a four year old. That I was done with him for the night. Which made him upset, and then I heard him upstairs telling me No and I hate you, mama for about an hour.
I worked on my collage pictures.
It's my form of therapy.
However, no one prepared me for that kind of challenging.
Not from a wee youngin'.
I wasn't upset though, as soon as I was back downstairs, I was calm again.
I was just sad by it.
This morning, while getting ready for work.
and getting Emry ready for school, he came into the bathroom, and looked up at me.
And without being prompted in the least, "Mama, I'm sorry."
I held him. He held me.
And I snuggled him.
In the end I realize, he's just figuring this life thing out TOO!.
Finding out what his role is, and so forth.
Can't hold it against him, we'll get through.
For a 4 year old, who recently has been through a change of family (yeah, that's what we'll call my divorce), I think he's doing really well.
That felt good to write down, and get out.
Any mom's out there no what I'm going through?
Any opinion would be nice...
Once you start to follow the blog, you can comment on my posts, and that be super.