People Just as Crazy as Me

Monday, May 9, 2011

Motherhood... Dating... How your kid copes with divorce.... (Mothers Day Post)

So, as we all know this past weekend (Mothers' Day weekend) was my ex's weekend to have Emry.
I was okay with it, as long as I had my son back on Mothers Day, at least for dinner.
We also know, that since I was childless from Friday night to Sunday morning, that Klayn was going to take me away on a fancy-fance weekend.

Seems awesome... right?
Most of it was... but some points... just plain sucked.

Friday, I was supposed to drop Emry off with his father, and then hustle back home so Klay and I could begin our weekend.
Emry did not want to go. At all. Cried, whined and pleaded for me to bring him home.

"Honey, daddy really wants you this weekend, he wants to do fun things with you, please give him a chance to."

(From what I was told, his father was supposed to take him to an antique car show, and to the park...etc....)

Emry still did not want to go. Screamed and begged.
This was not a tantrum, this was a child who outwardly does not enjoy time with his father.

Tough noogies, right? It's your dad deal with it, right?!

I am not that way. If he doesn't want to be there... than he shouldn't have to be. I have full custody, and I only allow my ex to spend time with Emry, because I think it's the right thing. So, if Emry doesn't want to, what should I do? Make him?

The mother in me kicked in, "Baby, give daddy a chance, if you don't have fun, by tomorrow, have daddy call me, and I will come get you. Just keep asking until he does."

This quelled my heartbroken sobbing child, and allowed him to go to his father without issue.
I warned my ex about this "freak out" moment, and begged him not to let his son down.

(Which was asking too much because by 11p Saturday night, Emry wanted to be home. And, that's where he was first thing Sudnay morning... because there was no Antique car show, no trip to the park... no nothing. There was Friday Night Sidewalk chalk, and a full Saturday of cartoon watching inside... no fun, no nothing.)

So, Emry has decided that he doesn't want to go anymore. That he loves being with Klay and I.Who am I to disagree? We are more of a family than when the Ex and I were "happily married".

Could my ex interact with us? Could he, Emry and I be together more, making it easier on Emry? Sure. Trust me, I've tried to make plans like that, and they always fell through (not by my hand, but by the man who cannot committ to anything but his life, and his important tasks (neither of which include his son, hell they didn't even include me when we were married.)

But, what I have decided is that the ex will be on standby. That he should call his son, and ask him if they could get together. Show Emry the effort, and the want... see if that works.

We'll see how far that goes.

But, you ask, how was my couple of nights away? How was my fancy-fance?

It was simply awesome.

We stayed at a Bed & Breakfast, and our room had a full jacuzzi... in the room, and a beautiful sky light above it.  Very good for star gazing.

We did some mild shopping through the outdoor shops, and I got a cute buddha statue. (I collect, I <3 the buddha).

We went to a formal dinner, at the world's most beautiful place... and had an amazing vue of the mountains from our table.

And other small things in between. It was simple and romantic... and utterly perfect.
I felt like a princess.

All in all... Lots of fun....

It's good to be a mother.... It's good to be some one's girlfriend...
Finding the balance is hard.

But, so worth the effort.

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