People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Nightmares

I have very vivid dreams, and sometimes, very very vivid nightmares.
These are the type of dreams that you can feel the wind on your face, smell the particular aromas of your surroundings, feel the weight of your feet on the ground... all that jazz.

Last night, after a very good day... I had a nightmare.

I dreamt I was going to a bar with friends (which is rare, I never go out with friends anymore, not since the stalking incident, which is a different story) and when I walked in the bar, my eyes directly fell on Klayvn. I knew that he wasn't supposed to be there, and that he had no idea I was going to be there. But, my eyes laid upon he and this tiny, beautiful blonde girl, with incredibly long hair. I could feel the anger flow to my cheeks... So, as if he could feel me, he looked up, and was caught, but didn't quite know what to do. His eyes flashed back and forth between me and the blonde bombshell.

Calmly, I walk over to him, pretend like we are not together, that I did not just catch him being a typical cheating male, and pretended like I haven't seen him in forever. Commented how beautiful his date was, and said I'd see him around. I then walked right out of the bar, to my car, and was met by the stalker. (I haven't mentioned much about the stalker in this blog, he's kind of non existent in my world right now, and hopefully forever, but for intensive purposes let's just say it was a bad time for everyone when this person plagued my world.) 

I looked at this person, who was sitting on the hood of my vehicle, and he was shaking his head. I was unafraid of him, and just shrugged, and bypassed him... Got in my car, turned in on, and put the car in drive. He was no longer on my vehicle, but in the passenger seat next to me. Still solemly shaking his head at me. This person always had the reasoning that I was a horrible person, and that no one could really love me, because I was selfish, and that the only role I had in any mans world...was to be a concubine. (Even though his thoughts were flawed, and ignorant, they still stick with me I suppose.)

Then I woke up. 

So, not an earth shattering, monsters/zombies chasing and eating me Nightmare. Just a very ominous Nightmare. What do I do with that?

Let's see what our Dream Dictionary says about key points of this dream... shall we?
To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truthful or is not fully committed in the relationship

To see a blond person in your dream, suggests that you need to enjoy life and live it up. Be a little glamorous.

To dream that you are being stalked, indicates some difficulty or issue which you are not confronting. These problems are not going to go away just because you are ignoring them. If you are being stalked in real life, then this fear may be carried over into your dream state.

Okay..... So, I definitley have self-esteem issues, I've always been told that I am not good enough, and will never be good enough... I do fear being along... I should enjoy life and live it up (Thus, what I have been trying to do) And, the stalker shaking his head at me is just be subconscious telling me to stop ignoring things that bother me.....

Let's break this down even further.

I trust Klay, I know he would tell me it wasn't working out before actually becoming the typical cheating male. He knows that he can be honest with me, and I trust that he will.
I still fear it though... I really have started to rely and depend on his prescence in my world. Not that I need him near me every second of every day... I do like my alone time, I do like to spread out and lounge in my bed alone, every once in a while....
But, he's the best man I've ever known. They are hard to come by... believe me. My son loves him and has begun to rely on his presence as well... So I guess I fear more that this wonderful family unit will disappear, and my son will hurt... as well as me....

**Sighs**

Anyone else have ominous dreams? Anyone else fear about the unknown?

Just got to live life, and strive for happiness.

Sleep to dream
Dream to be Happy.

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