"Emry, who's your daddy?"
"Yeah, I know honey, what's your daddy's name?"
"Very good! Can I ask you a question?"
"Why do you call Klayvn daddy? Are you confused?"
"Because I like him better."
"Oh. . . . but you know, that Klayvn loves you very much, but he isn't your daddy."
"I know mama, can I call him it anyway?"
"Honey, I don't know. This is something we all need to talk about as a family."
"Okay mama, you call Klayvn and Daddy. We can do this now."
This conversation happened at the end of our day yesterday. When Emry asked, if he could see daddy... i mean Klayvn..... He's been doing this a lot lately... It's becoming more and more apparent. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had to ask where it was coming from....
It's amazing how much a 4 year old boy can notice the neglect and absenteeism of his actual father.....
Klayvn thinks its hysterical.. but weird... and I bet silently he thinks it is overwhelming.
Because for me... it is overwhelming. It's been 6 months... We've been together for 6 months..
Doesn't that seem fast for my kid to reference him as that?????
** DEEP BREATH **
This situation is getting heavy and complex. At least for me, right now...
I love Klayvn. I love him as part of my family. I am willing to work through this complexity to get to a wonderful life, if that's in the cards....
But right now... I feel like this situation is just.... well, I feel like it's drowning me.