People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday Second Post - Parenting Style Debate

This goes to show, that sometimes your values aren't the same as your friends.

Let me tell you the back end of this:

Yesterday, Mrs. Joy (the new teacher, since Emry's school is now in camp mode - who neither Emry or I like), tells me that Emry isn't as "conversational" as he should be at his age. (which we all know isn't true, I tell y'all enough how much he talks) And that he never talks to her, and she believes that it could be the beginning of him being "educational stunted"

IE: not ready for Kindergarten.

(EVEN THOUGH he already was evaluated by Ms. Andrea and she said he was fine)
I present this to Emry, and ask him why he doesn't talk to Mrs. Joy, and first he asks me if he is going to get in trouble... I tell him no.
He tells me that he doesn't like her and "she doesn't need to know" when I said that maybe he should try talking to her.

Yes, I know, he doesn't have to like everybody.... but, when it's a teacher, you need to be at least NICE and RESPONSIVE.

Because in the end, they determine how you excel through school...


I'm telling my friend at work about this; we're close, talk all the time, hang out occasionally.

And she is out rightly telling me, that Emry does NOT need to talk with her or even be NICE to her.

And that her personal problem shouldn't be put on Emry.
(I agree there, but it's how you deal with it.)
That if he was her son, she'd be telling her that he just doesn't like her and maybe she needs to change the way she talks to him.
And that I am teaching Emry a bad lesson here, that he needs to hide how he feels and just be what others want him to be.
And other shit like that.

I'm sorry.
I had a mother who fought the system at every turn.
I was taught to speak out in school when I felt a teacher was discriminating against me.
ACTUALLY I got labeled as "that kid" and "that's the one whose mother is..."
I graduated 10th in my class, because I fought to be there, my grades were better than 10th though... just so you know.
I was almost NOT on Honor's Society, because the administrator HATED my mother, regardless of the fact my grades were good enough.

That is NOT what will happen to my son.
You may not like people, teachers, or administrators...
But, at school, you smile and be damn polite, and then when the chips come down... they can't say that you weren't helpful, or cordial or cooperative:
BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN, and documentation will show that, and they will be wrong.
Let stupid people throw themselves under the bus.

I can't believe she told me that I was teaching my son a bad precedent.
Okay, not the same parenting skills as your own.
But, honestly, you weren't raised the way I was.
So there will be a differentiation.

I held my ground, told her I saw where she was coming from, but I didn't agree.
He has to use his words.
Give that stupid broad over at the school at least one sentence a day, just to show that he is CONVERSATIONAL.
So that when we leave, there isn't any mark on his file, that says that he is EDUCATIONALLY STUNTED or showing a LEARNING DISABILITY.

Jesus, could you imagine? After all the work we all have gone through to get Emry into Kindergarten, to be swept away because he didn't LIKE the teacher.


But, now, my friend is being a little fake with me.
We ended the debate.
But you can still see that she is on her horse about it.

You can have your opinion, doesn't make me any less your friend, but it's not the way I choose to raise my kid.
Your kids turned out fine the way you raised them.
Who says mine won't either.

Drop it.
We peoples.
Don't be angry because I wouldn't say you were right.

Venting over.

But, does this happen to anybody else?

Do you and your friends (with or without children) ever have the arguement that their parenting style is better than yours?

Or that the way you want to direct your child is wrong?

Or just a friend, who will NOT back down on their opinion, and ALWAYS has to be right?

Does anyone not see where I am coming from here?

Please, whether you are with me on this one or not... let me know how you feel.... feedback is very important... Maybe I'm just not seeing something here...


  1. i would have to agree that its improtant to be polite to teacbers of other staff at schools no matter what and to communicate, even the smallest amount helps. i worked in a kindergarten class for a school year, and we had a few kids that wouldn't communicate well and we did question wheather they were ready to move on or not.

    my parenting is different from even my sisters, its just the way the cookie crumbles. it has a lot to do with personalities of the parent mostly, at least i think so. :)

  2. I see your point and agree with it mostly, politeness is very important but so is not being walked over.. I'm shy as hell, I don't talk much, but depending on how rude people are I will speak up, otherwise I stop talking to people.

    Your son sounds like he has a good head, also sounds like your rising him fine. I see people more childish than their kids it's sad.

    Just keep in mind you are not the only influence in his life, so you must be the GREATEST influence.. Stay Strong..