People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

FOREVER

This day is taking FOREVER to finish.

I am dreading going home tonight...

I just... am very uneasy with the fact that Klay will be with us all week.

Upon thinking about it... I can't imagine the effect it will have on Emry...

Even though it is the right thing to do... being as which Klay doesn't have any electricity...

Emry has been crying out for this attention... This is the longest a male figure (other than my father) has been in Emry's world. The Ex... well, the only thing Emry knows that he would go far away to work, for long periods of time, then come back... Which has made the transistion easier... since Emry doesn't expect for him to be there anyway.

But, now, with Klay... It's different.

*rolls eyes*

I am just hoping the Klay's electricity is restored before 12a.m. Saturday morning.
That would be wonderful.

I love him.
But, I love Emry more...

Klay is so helpful, understanding, accomodating... and loving. Oh boy, he has the biggest heart I've ever seen. He's really special.

But... it's......  **sighs**
It's not working.

This is taking a toll on Emry.
Maybe being alone is better... than this.
I just don't want to constantly let Emry down.
And, it's not as if we are dangling this relationship in front of him saying, "This is going to be a real family some day"
But in a way... the stability of it.... is detrimental.

HOW SURREAL IS THAT?

HOW WRONG IS THAT?

And to realize it now... almost 2 months away from the year point.... while Klay is temporarily living with us... is killing me.

I just have to breathe.
I just have to take it as it comes...
And wish for the best.

I have always wanted the happy ending.
Even though it's been forever out of reach.

But now... I just want the happy.
No ending.
I just want Emry and I to be happy.

Has this happened to any of you? or friends in this situation?

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