People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Second Wednesday Post - IDOL

When I was a teenager, I was heavy into Hardcore Techno Music.
I absolutely loved the distortion, the combination of different beats and tones, and overall the way it made me felt.
I could jump around and dance. I could feel the emotion, and thus got any aggression or hurtful emotion out. It was one of the only positive outlets I had.
When I hit 18 years old, I was quite drawn to one DJ, DJ Omar Santana. Listen here:

He really got to me. It struck me. So, one day, I started hitting up his Myspace (Yeah, do you all remember Myspace?). I told him how much his music helped me, aided my daily life.
I reached out one day, when he posted, that he really missed a home cooked meal. I replied, that I lived 45 minutes away, and promised to cook him a real Italian Home Cooked Meal. And, that he could check out my property for a possible Rave site. Where I lived, I had 13 acres of grassy area. It was unused, we never did anything with it.
This, at that time, was my musical idol. Really, I wanted to pick his brain, I wanted to see where he got his ideas from. I was very interested.
To my surprise, he responded to my Myspace email. 2 weeks later, my idol, was in my dining room, eating dinner. I was able to pick his brain, we discussed music, we discussed his journeys and how it inspired him… It was wonderful. And the point is, he didn’t have to do it. But, he did. He appreciated and loved all of his fans.
I bet you’re curious, if he ever through I rave in my backyard. Nope. We had to get the proper permit from the town, and my small little town, was not interested. Not in the slightest. So, no permit, no rave. *sad music plays*
Now, I bet you’re now asking, “Kateri, why are you writing about this today?”
Well, today, my blog idol… kind of shit on me. Well, to give him/her the benefit of the doubt… and the respect he/she deserves… He/She shat (is that even a word?) on me, then took it back, but left the shit stain in its place.
Needless to say, I feel sullied and unusual about this.
Let me tell y’all about it.
(SIDENOTE: Yes, for a Northerner I use y’all a lot… one of my favorite words.)
Let’s be honest, 90% of us, if not all of us small bloggers… Do mindless, self-serving blog plugs on other blogs… at one time or another. We are all trying to expand, in one of the many ways we know how.
No harm, no foul right?
We all use the blog “CommentLuv”, on other peoples blog sites… Even though, sometimes it doesn’t work… Meh, I don’t get it either. But, I’ll put the link to my blog, or even the most recent blog URL… Basically the same thing right?
Well, today, I asked my blog idol to read, and comment… like I normally do. I value his/her opinion, and I am always wishing for a response. I never get usually get one. But TODAY, in my inbox, I got a comment on my blog from this IDOL.
I grinned, hell, I had a huge grin. I was excited. SO FREAKING EXCITED. I clicked on my comment mail, and I was met with:
“Hey chica, I really, really appreciate your comments over at <insert blog name>. Could you please keep from spamming about your own blog when you do? Commentluv is installed so that you can post a link to your most recent blog post, please leave it at that.

Sorry I tried to find a way to contact you besides leaving a comment, but I couldn't find one. Feel free to delete this. Thanks!”
Now, yeah, it was polite. I appreciate that it was polite. But, let me tell you… My face went from Smiling TO Mouth Gaping wide open TO frowing TO near tears. (I’m a woman, what do you expect).
Yeah, I get you couldn’t get in touch with me in any way shape or form. But, maybe, since you had time to click on my link… you could have, oh I don’t know read the blog too, and separately commented on it? Or better yet, if you couldn’t find a way to contact me, responded to my comment on your page, and I would have taken note.
Nope. Hopes Raised. Hopes Crashed all the way down. Sad KATERI!
So, I responded, by emailing him/her:
“Just one more thing... since my last reply to you wasn't really an acceptable response, to the lackluster comment you left.
I have emailed you, and asked for your feedback via comment.. on more than one occasion.
I know you are busy.
I know you have an amazing son you are trying to raise....
I understand these and respect you for doing it.
So I try to make my comments on your page, noticed... so that maybe one day, you'd tell me what my little blog looks like to you.
Someone, I follow, and respect.
It hurts, that the first comment I ever got from you was... Don't spam my blog.
Even though you said it in the most polite way possible.
You couldn't even take the time to tell me what you thought... I wonder how the Novice Blogger in you feels about that.
So, keep writing an amazing blog.
And I won't bother commenting, because I now know, that it's pointless.
I'll just take notes on what I read, how it's written, how it's displayed...
And do what I can to make my blog, just as epic.
I love your writing.
Don't get me wrong, I understand your concern, and I didn't see it as a problem.
Now that I know, I won't do it.
I really have tried to use that CommentLuv thingy... it never does anything.
I don't get the "Check out my recent post" thing, everyone else does.
But, that's my problem and mine alone.
You won't reply.
But, at least I got it out there.”

Now, I tried to be as polite and objective as possible. But, as a hormonal woman, I can see if this was read with a tone.

I was, and am still hurt by this… HENCE: this post.

I expected some criticism on the blog, or a nice job, or you have potential. I got nothing.

(I want to note, I got a reply, told me to keep commenting, and that he/she has no life, since his/her blog is so big. Explained to me how to use the commentluv button worked... and said I was super… Nice gesture, didn’t have to do it… but still…I bet when this person was a new blogger, any advice would have been great. Too busy… can’t help the little blogger out… I get it.)

So how do I proceed? Where do I go from here?

Nowhere. I stay where I am. I do what I’m doing. Because in the end, this blog is for me, parents like me, and for anyone who just is trying to pick though this horrible exercise that is life.

I will continue to ask for advice and help from people who do not take their internet stardom for granted, and remember what it’s like to be the new “kid” in town.

I will continue to read this amazing blog, but will not comment, or even “commentluv” anything. I’m done.

I’m embarrassed, and hurt.
So there you have it my PMS rant of the day.

 Any of you ever been knocked down a peg or two by someone you held to high esteem?
Any “Woo-Sah” Calming Comments???
ANY MIDOL OUT THERE?

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