People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, August 26, 2011

**SIGHS**

When I was 17... I moved out.
I got out.
Fast.

I've told everyone this before.... please see: INSPIRED

But, I tend to forget.. how hard the world can be... or seem to be... when you are a teenager.

I tend to forget, how even though I got the hell out of dodge... I was scared.

It was a complete change of lifestyle... one a teenager shouldn't have had to face... basically alone.

And, I don't think I ever dealt with that fear.

I am of the mindset... that you just do.... feel it later.... If it's too big, too much to emotionally handle... just do it, and when it's done, then you can feel something about it.

This ability is a strength and a weakness.

Children are asked to grow up way to early now a days... asked to feel and understand way to early.

I want my childhood back.
(Hey don't we all)

But I want it without the abuse.
I want it without the constant feeling of being sub-par, and not worth any one's time.

I want a mother.
STILL TO THIS DAY.
I want a mother.

Not an awesome aunt who listens to everything, and soothes me like a mother.
Not older friends who have all this insight, and can tell me from a mothering perspective.

I WANT A MOM.

I'll never have that.
A lot of people are in this same boat....

But, today.... the day I'm having.... I wish I had my mother to talk to...

But, I don't.
I have a cold, callous, heartless, Satan embodied, waste of space... evil woman... who by blood is biologically my mother.

**sighs**

I want my chunky monkey ice cream...

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