People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Communication

I like to think that I am a great communicator.

I say what I need to say, when I need to say it.... mostly. (I say what I need to say, when I need to say it, as long as it's in the appropriate setting. I have tact.)

I also like to think that I am confident enough to stand my ground when I feel the need to.....

But, at the moment, I'm unable to speak about a certain subject, that is causing me a great amount of grief and pain... not to mention worry.

Why is it, when you worry about something, you just can't express it.

It's almost like the feeling the exorcists must get when they are trying to learn the demon's name. By knowing the name it gives more power.

By knowing the anguish... will it give it more power.

Is it better just to tell myself I'm being stupid and forget it.

Blame it on the estrogen?

The dingo ate my baby... wait........wrong conversation............ ; )

I can't even type it here.
Isn't that bizarre, the place where EVERYONE knows me, but I don't have to face on a daily basis.... I can't vent it.

I want to.
I can't though.

.............................................

I'm going further down the path of feeling completely and utterly lost.
Feeling bored and unworthy of happiness...
and it's me.
I'm projecting this on to myself.

But, I can't stop... it's like an unending spiral downward.

Which I fear the most, I am not in a position where I can hit bottom....
So, I keep hoping to find a way to rectify this...
But, even if I have one day that builds me up, the next just tears me down again....

And, hear I sit... typing...
Because honestly, if I tried to explain this aloud I couldn't.... it would sound just.... pitiful.

Maybe that's what I am.

2 comments:

  1. Honestly, I think that the more you tell yourself not to worry about something, the harder it is not to worry!

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  2. Sometimes it's easier to talk about things one-on-one (with a sympathetic ear) instead of publicly, where you can't predict how people will react.

    But, however you choose to do it, TALK.

    ReplyDelete