I get it approved.
I post it ALL OVER THE FUCKING BUILDING.
To come back with corrections.
I cannot stand it sometimes.
But, one of the corrections was my error. I got to admit I haven't been operating on all my cylinders recently.
I got to take my time.
I really do.
One of the corrections, was left out... and not provided, but the employee felt to include it after I spent a half hour walking around the darn building.
I had crazy dreams last night.
- I dreamt Klay cheated on me. But, not in a .. I walked in and saw it way... In a premonition, gut feeling way... and when I called him on it... He admitted to it. Which crushed me... I remember feeling the pain in the dream. Then I woke up. Brief, right? But, now, I don't want to talk to him today... because the dream impacted me so much. I am so silly. But, seriously, my ex made cheating look like an Olympic Sport. I swear. He would cheat with any girl, regardless of age, size, ethnicity... And, then would come home, tell me I was fat... and ugly... and go play video games. Yup. That's my PTSD.
- I dreamt I was trying to get to work. But couldn't get there. The roads changed, and turned... I was lost.... When I finally got to the building, it wasn't the actual building, it was an old Victorian Antique looking house... and my boss (who is in her 60's) was this young blonde woman. Every time I tried to explain to her why I was SO late... she would disappear, like I dream of genie disappear. I woke up so frustrated.
Now... this post has taking me all day to write...
Lunch blew up my world.... Karissa verbally attacked me yet again today. Told me I cower and sit in fear at my desk. I lost my shit. She then told me I always bother/interrupt her with my quams instead of just handeling the problem.... And I really did. I cursed, LOUDLY, in the Christian Building I work at, and stormed out of where we eat lunch. Who the hell do you think you are? You don't know me from Adam, really. You see what I present here... and who I am now... NOT WHO I WAS. NOT WHERE I'VE BEEN. NOT WHAT I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH. FUCK YOU. And then I had a flash of Maggie. Maggie used to work with us, and hang out during lunch all the time, until Karissa starting saying that Maggie was always interrupting her work, and that she didn't know how to differentiate work and play. Maggie withdrew from our work group, and then, well... she transfered to another territory of our company... OUT OF THE COUNTRY.... I'm not joking. Now, not all of that is Karissa's fault. But, I imagine that the withdrawing and not eating with us was. Because, right now, I feel just like Maggie. You going to treat me like shit? Think you're going to get away with it... Fuck that. I'm going to eat lunch, and be sweet as pie to you... when I have to... but, never, EVER, am I going to go to your office again, let you interrupt ME at MY desk.........or stop what I'm doing to take a walk with you. BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO SCARED TO WALK ALONE. WHO HAS ISSUES HERE? Big Bad 6"0 tall broad woman... I think you do... You may hide behind this "I don't care" attitude, but you do care... Because I know, that you're going to hide up in your office. Not apologize for making me feel like shit... and brood. Go for it. Have fun.
I have work to do.
(It involves my actual job and this blog. haha.)
So there's my day.
I used to be a real angry person.. a real bitch. I have mellowed. Life isn't that bad. Maybe hers is. But not mine.
There's my vent for the day.