After he had the dream that I left him, I told him that wasn't happening...
After I had the dream that he wouldn't let me go, in a scary monster way... He told me he was there for me. To protect me. That he loved me.
I hit the wall today.
Love isn't enough.
Support is necessary.
I don't have enough support.
I need to stop waiting on things that aren't coming.
And working toward a life where I can spend MORE time with my son.... regardless of our family unit.
The only people Emry and I can rely on for support, is ME and HIM.
No one else.
I do not want the:
If it's right, it'll work out.
Don't be rash... think about it.
This love may have not been forever it may have been right now.
I love you all, I don't want advice.
I don't want anyone to placate me.
I do not want anyone to hold my hand through this.
I want to be upset.
I want to run.
And that's just what's going to happen here.
It's too much strain on me.
I can't balance all of this anymore.
Something has got to give.
Unfortunately, and most definitely with great sadness... the thing that's giving... is Klay.
And that's the decision that needs to be made.
I will not force someone to be more than they want to be.
I will not be strained between two worlds.
Giving up.... and it sucks.