People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

**cluck cluck**

I chickened out.
HARD CORE.

I could not talk to Klay.

It was such a weird night.
The ex was late for his bi-weekly dinners and didn't bring food.
Klay took Emry to bed, and then we all read a book together.
Emry hugged us both tightly, and then we went downstairs.
Just stared at eachother.
We talked.
We laughed.
Ran an errand.
Came back.
Talked and laughed.
When I started to get the oomph...
I chickened out.
I sighed.
I told him I was worried.
About us.
I wondered how much of our relationship was based on Emry and how much was based on us.
I tried to get there...
He told me
"I love you. Do you love me?"
I said yes, because I do... I really love him.
"Then it will be okay. It will work itself out."
And then he held me.

I chickened out.
I feel even more shitty today.

I need to get there.
We need to have this conversation...

Feeling small today.

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