I type to make myself feel better.
I type so I can see some sort of "light" in my words.
I try to figure stuff out, and I try to calm myself.
I'm high strung.
Recently, I am very high strung.
I find it very difficult to relax.
I find that my mood swings are coming back.
Stupid Primrose oil...
You aren't working anymore.
Or maybe it is, and my mood swings would be worse if I stopped taking it.
Not stopping because honestly, I'd hate to see how more agitated I would be.
I found out last night, that Nick was stealing my muscle relaxers.
I had the inkling, because the past two times he had come over, he had gone straight to my downstairs bathroom, and would be in there for a little bit.
First, I thought he was using the phone.
Then, maybe he was using...
Well, on Tuesday, I realized... I was missing 3 of my nighttime muscle relaxant.
So... I thought... that maybe I had miscounted them the last time I had taken one...
But, then, I realized: Quick fix, just move them... and then you won't worry anymore.
Last night, Nick came in and went straight to my bathroom.
And then, as clear as day, I heard him rifle through the medicine cabinet.
My medicine cabinet is small, so going through it quickly, usually makes things fall into the sink.
That's exactly what I heard.
So, when he came out, I asked, "Everything okay?"
He muttered an answer, and went to heating up the hot dogs he brought for him and Emry.
Without bread, because, "All my bread went moldy. If I don't use it, it goes bad."
Well duh, moron, maybe if you ate... instead of being ... WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW... the bread wouldn't go bad.
It really bothers me that he was trying to get high off my pills, and that he would use them RIGHT before being with my son.
He left at 6p, and right before he left, "Can I ask you a question?"
Since I had a long day, "The answer tonight is NO."
He still asked, regardless of the fact that I told him it was not the night to ask me anything.
"You said when you got your taxes back that you would pay off the JCPENNY card for me."
Not what I said, I said I would pay off my remaining charges from over a year ago. He took control of that bill, never tells me when it's due, and has made his own charges... I found out that he had purchased over $300 on that card... I owe... practically nothing, but I am not paying off his interest and late payments...
I told him that I would pay what I owed, that's it... and then after that I never wanted to hear anything from him concerning this...
Asshole left me with $2,300.... and he had $23,700.00........ That he spent in 6 months.
I'm not joking, and I still have my money and then some... but he's asking me to pay his bill?
What a jerk.
Tomorrow, Emry and I are going to ELMO LIVE!
He's very excited.
I think I am too.
Not for the same reasons though...
I am excited because after the show we are going to my 2nd Cousins House...
I haven't seen her, in a very long time...
It will be nice to catch up.
Klay and I are having our final talk about what's going on tonight.
Not dreading it... just need to get it over with...
I don't want to hurt him.
I don't want to hurt Emry.
I don't want to hurt....
I don't want him to hate us.
I don't want Emry to hate another male figure.
I don't want to hate Klay.
You have all been very supportive on this.
And, I know that I sound like a broken record.
Should I? Shouldn't I?
I love him. It isn't right.
But, you have all stayed with me, and I appreciate it.
Life has turns, and trials... it's our support system that gets us through it.
That's what you all are... My support system, my extended blogging family.
**KISSES AND HUGS TO ALL**
I need to start working...
Before I lose the will to do so...
Thank the Gods it Friday.