People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, March 30, 2012

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - Dating

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother


(aka: The Life of a


Pseudo-Single Mother)




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(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)
DATING

Well.... I do more than date Klay.
We're in a relationship.
A committed (not like nut job, but you know, unified) monogamous relationship.


How does a pseudo-single (oh, oops, Klay says I should say Quasi-single, because it is closer to my meaning...) Ahem, how does a QUASI-single working mother do so?

Very carefully.

I was very lucky when I met Klay.
I was introduced to him (in this life, because I'm sure we've met before...) at the Rennaissance Faire.
I bring Emry with me to this faire.
It's a family affair.
He met Emry for the first time there, he saw what I was working with.
The day was..... interesting to say the least...
Another story for another day.

So, my meaning is..
We met on platonic terms, and he knew I was a mom.
I think that when the Single mother starts to date...
It is very important to be upfront about who you are.

I am a mother.
I am well acquainted with boogies, and poop, and bumps and bruises.
I have been puked on, I have stayed up all night watching my kid sleep, when he was ill for the first time.

Being a mother let's the interested party know that you have other priorities.
That if he wants to potentially be with you, that he's going to have to integrate into "your" <you + child(ren)> world.

Some men aren't up for that.
No big deal, just mean they aren't right for you.

I am not a casual dater.
I've always been the serial monogamous.
But, I could never imagine casually dating and being a mom.

Moving on.

Once you've established someone you would like to date.
They are understanding that sometimes...
The kid will come before them...
That dinner dates may be wicked early and with a young child.
That an outing may include an extra pair of small legs following along.

If you find that kind of person.
That's great.

But, be weary.
If you plan to date someone.
Make sure you know them on a platonic level.
Know who they are as a person,
Their moral code,
Whether they have the potential to stalk you or not (did I just type that? yep, and I meant it.)

BECAUSE:
Once your kid is attached...
It is a bitch to remove that bond.

I will reiterate how lucky I was to have met Klay.
KISMET.
He loved Emry from the first moment.
(And I'm pretty sure he'd admit it, if you asked.)
He integrated quickly, even though we both discussed how weird it was.

It worked.

We do have a daily struggle of:
whether or not I will pass out as soon as Emry goes to bed.
Whether or not I have to read an extra long story to Emry.
(Most of the time Emry prefers Klay to do it.... stupid men bonding.)
But, all the elements of being a parent.

.......parents.
I think it's safe to say that we (Klay and I) are both PARENTING Emry.
That's another thing about Dating... and being in a relationship.

If it goes good for a while...
It leads to the BIG PICTURE.

We all know what I am saying .
Right?


HOWEVER,
The single mother also needs to learn this one thing when it comes to dating

IT IS OKAY
TO TAKE
 A BREAK
AND BE
JUST AN ADULT

If you have someone to leave your kid(s) with, take a night with just the two of you.
Go away for a weekend... if and when you can.
BE AN ADULT in an ADULT RELATIONSHIP.


The Single Working Mother...
Needs to date with caution.
Accept Love and Help when necessary.
Be herself, as the superwoman she really is.
Never lose sight of the most important thing:
THE CHILD(REN)
And learn when it's okay to transition...
In to a healthy relationship... dating situation.

That's my two cents.
Happy Friday.

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