People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, April 6, 2012

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - Sex

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother
(aka: The Life of a
Quasi-Single Mother)



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(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)
 
SEX

You had to see this post coming.

How does the Quasi-single mother have sex?
**Pauses for snarkery to commence**
Yes, yes, just like everybody else.
Is everyone done JOKING around?

Okay... Let's continue!


But, it is different for a mom (single or not) to have sex.
The child is always doing the proverbial "cock blocking".

And if they are actually sound asleep... or somewhere else (with a grandparent/aunt/etc.)
You are too exhausted to actually have sex some times.

Sex takes a lot of commitment.
Sex actually takes a lot pre-planning.

Why?
Well, if you put no planning into it..
You wind up looking disheveled, and in pajamas stained with dried food, snots, dirt, etc.

And. honestly, who wants their significant other (of any sort), to see you before sex looking like you have shaven, showered, slept in a week.

It's got to be a woman thing.
Men really don't take that amount of pride in preparing for intercourse.
They are just excited to have sex.

This is where a weekend away becomes very useful.
Somehow, when you are away, your body goes into "vacation mode"
This is a magical land, where the clothes are all pressed, and clean.
The pajamas are unstained by your offspring's boogies, or last meal crunchies.
This magical plane of reality is where the working mother has extra energy, and drive to LOOK SEXY, and be AMAZING while in bed.
I love this magical place.
I don't get to go to it very often.
But, when I do... oh boy, do I make it work for me
and Klay, of course. ;) ;)


However,
There will be periods of drought.
As the Dating Divorcee Working Mother, be prepared for sex droughts.
To date...
And I'm going to admit this...
**SIGHS**
It has been 3 weeks since I have had sex.

Yup.
Between work, house to-do's, parenting, etc.
I have been too tired to stay awake for "adult games".
And, what's even funnier is that if I am awake and raring to go... Klay falls asleep.
We are truly an old married couple posing as a youthful couple.
No Joke.

Are we sexually frustrated?
I'm not sure.
I'm not.
I don't think Klay is...
I just think we both are knowledgeable that a lot is going on...
And, when we do make time for it (which God willing is soon)...
Then it will be epic.

MmmmmmmmmmmmMmmmmmmmmmMmmmmmmmm

So, where am I going with this?
STRAIGHT TO BED!
Haha, just kidding.

The point I'm making is that a single dating working mother needs to be prepared not to have sex, and welcome it with open arms (and legs) when a time slot opens.
The SDWM needs to be secure enough in her relationship to be able to express to her SO that sex is sometimes not going to be a TOP priority.

Even though we want it to be one.






It's hard being a SDWM with a sex drive.



I think we should build a support group.
That none of us will attend.

WHY?
Because if we had some extra free time to go to a Support Group to talk about our sex drives...
Then we would MOST DEFINITELY HAVE TIME TO ACTUALLY BE HAVING SEX!




Happy Friday!

2 comments:

  1. hahaha love it all! people wouldn't think that i would love talking about sex because i guess that's just not the vibe i give out. hahaha but get me talking and you'll have a hard time shutting me up. hahaha. behind the closed doors of a mormom housewife i guess you could say.

    i hope you have a great weekend, and go get some! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this!! So true all of it.

    I will definitely be a part of that support group, and I promise NOT to attend. :)

    ReplyDelete