People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, July 6, 2012

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - "Pushing On"

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother


(aka: The Life of a
Quasi-Single Mother)




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(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)
"Pushing On"
You open your eyes in the morning,
prepared to start your normal schedule...
and then...
you feel it...
The pain...
Shoulder, elbows, wrists, hips, back...
Your entire body is locking up.
Muscle spasms are super.
However, you swallow hard, you lift your bones out of bed
and look in the mirror...
Your eyes burning into themselves.
Willing yourself to take another step...
Just get it done....

And that's all it takes.
Regardless of the pain you are feeling, or how much you'd rather just roll over and sleep away the feeling;
You are up and moving.
You are back on track.


As a divorced quasi-single working mother... this is a daily ordeal for me.
Some days are worse than others... and some days are just okay.

As the sole provider...
You don't get the luxury of stopping.
Days off are saved for your child(ren).
Personal days, are not for YOUR personal use.

That's just how it goes.


Now for me.
I am very lucky to have Klay.
He does help with Emry's days off....
But, on the whole..
It's me.

My job is a great environment.
I can bring Emry in every once in a while...
And I do that, because we really don't get THAT much paid time off.
3 personal days a year.
and 1 sick day a month...
I try to save up my sick days as much as possible.
JUST IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.


So,
There's no room for my pain, me being sick, or me just wanting to lay back and have a day off.


I must:
PUSH ON



I bet it's very similar for women in my shoes.


So,
how do we take care of ourselves?
What happens when shit hits the fan and we need that time just for us...
Sans - housework, workwork, parenting, etc....

SUPPORT SYSTEMS.

I have a small one.
But, I know, if need be I have at least 6 people who will help me with Emry...
IF I REALLY, REALLY NEEDED IT.


The problem with Single Parents...
(my biggest problem)
IS ASKING FOR HELP.

I know, for me, asking for help almost feels like admitting I can't handle it.


AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!
WE CAN'T HANDLE IT ALL... ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME.


No one is perfect.
No one is that strong.
Pride is a horrible monster, we need to learn to quiet it down...

And take the time when we need it.


With that said.
I should have done that today.

I should have bit the bullet,
said, "I'm sorry new boss, I know you haven't gotten completely submerged yet, but I need to lay in bed and wait for my bones to stop feeling like they are burning through my muscles and skin."




So,
Lesson Learned.
You need to take time for you... so you can keep

PUSHING ON.

2 comments:

  1. Very timely discussion. I am the very very very last thing on my list. Some days--don't even get a shower. Toenail polish? It's a month old. Workout? Hahahaha. I am trying to learn to maintain myself so I can make the long run, but also make it healthy. I am in constant pain which is why I work twice as hard to get out of this career that is breaking my body. I overwork so I can get to a place where I can ease up. I learned to think of pain as energy. I don't label it good or bad, like a muscle burn after a workout. We don't freak about that. So, I just say "this pain is warm energy, reminding me I'm alive." And, move on with the day because no one is going to do it for me. Yup. I getcha.

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  2. I'm not a mom, but I do know that the most successful women are those who know what they can handle on their own, and when they need to ask for help. And they are the women who are not too afraid or proud to ask.

    Try to remember and realize that when you need it. Give yourself a break, ya know?

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