I could have posted this past Friday.
I mean, I took the day off... because... I just couldn't go to work....
But, I didn't....
I laid in bed... ALL DAY...
Cried for about half of it...
I guess I started too quickly on this post.
Maybe I should back up a little.
Last week, I let y'all know that I was going to be working both positions, until they hired someone for my old job.
Also, I also let y'all know recently, that Emry has been... in a bad way.
So, Thursday, the straw that broke the camels back like a machete happened....
I had a long day at work.
I came home in an already bad mood...
Then Emry came from Latchkey in an equally bad mood.
Combined with PMS... EQUALS... EXPLOSION.
We had this all out war.
There was screaming and crying...
Then it would lull down.
We got worksheets and homework complete...
We ate dinner.
Then it started back up again.
Bath time didn't happen.
And at the end of it.
I was hysterical.
I was in my bed at 7p.
This was one of the nights when Klay was going to stay at his apartment.
(He is using it to hide Christmas gifts.)
I sent off a long angry text... I told Klay that I would see him in the morning.
And then I began to cry.
Klay showed up 20minutes later. My phone was on silent so I didn't hear or see the 3 phone calls he made.
He came in a laid with me as I sobbed.
I think I cried uncontrollably from the stress of life... until I fell asleep...
Sleep was brief because I kept waking up... and crying again.
I am only one person and I cannot be expected to keep all the balls in the air... all the time.
It is impossible.
I called out of work, even though it was "my day" to be with the old position.
My boss still sent me copious emails (at home) of how to do her job.
In which I answered to the best of my abilities....
And then, I told her I couldn't be "Any further assistance, because I had no access to the materials she was looking for".
It had to happen.
I needed the day.
With my pain syndrome... Stress seems to exacerbate my pain. It actually makes me feel like my entire body has inflammation. Moving is a problem.... Being able to keep a smile on my face is a problem as well.
My doctor has told me that I need to be able to pace myself, to take a breather... that sometimes function at 75% has to happen. Or else, I can permanently end up in bed.
I need to work.
I need to be able to support us.
That's how it is...
So, I need to take steps back from time to time.
Friday went decently....
Saturday was awful....
Sunday was... oddly normal...
So I am hoping we are starting to make the turn around with our home life.
Hopefully work life will follow suit.
with 15 days until Christmas
and 16 days until Disney Vacation...
I am trying to keep perspective.
I did show up an hour early for work, so I could finish up what I didn't do on Friday...
To find out, the woman who is training me on my new position.... won't be in all day.
So... that extra hour...
Well... guess who isn't getting paid for it.