People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, March 30, 2012

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - Dating

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother


(aka: The Life of a


Pseudo-Single Mother)




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(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)
DATING

Well.... I do more than date Klay.
We're in a relationship.
A committed (not like nut job, but you know, unified) monogamous relationship.


How does a pseudo-single (oh, oops, Klay says I should say Quasi-single, because it is closer to my meaning...) Ahem, how does a QUASI-single working mother do so?

Very carefully.

I was very lucky when I met Klay.
I was introduced to him (in this life, because I'm sure we've met before...) at the Rennaissance Faire.
I bring Emry with me to this faire.
It's a family affair.
He met Emry for the first time there, he saw what I was working with.
The day was..... interesting to say the least...
Another story for another day.

So, my meaning is..
We met on platonic terms, and he knew I was a mom.
I think that when the Single mother starts to date...
It is very important to be upfront about who you are.

I am a mother.
I am well acquainted with boogies, and poop, and bumps and bruises.
I have been puked on, I have stayed up all night watching my kid sleep, when he was ill for the first time.

Being a mother let's the interested party know that you have other priorities.
That if he wants to potentially be with you, that he's going to have to integrate into "your" <you + child(ren)> world.

Some men aren't up for that.
No big deal, just mean they aren't right for you.

I am not a casual dater.
I've always been the serial monogamous.
But, I could never imagine casually dating and being a mom.

Moving on.

Once you've established someone you would like to date.
They are understanding that sometimes...
The kid will come before them...
That dinner dates may be wicked early and with a young child.
That an outing may include an extra pair of small legs following along.

If you find that kind of person.
That's great.

But, be weary.
If you plan to date someone.
Make sure you know them on a platonic level.
Know who they are as a person,
Their moral code,
Whether they have the potential to stalk you or not (did I just type that? yep, and I meant it.)

BECAUSE:
Once your kid is attached...
It is a bitch to remove that bond.

I will reiterate how lucky I was to have met Klay.
KISMET.
He loved Emry from the first moment.
(And I'm pretty sure he'd admit it, if you asked.)
He integrated quickly, even though we both discussed how weird it was.

It worked.

We do have a daily struggle of:
whether or not I will pass out as soon as Emry goes to bed.
Whether or not I have to read an extra long story to Emry.
(Most of the time Emry prefers Klay to do it.... stupid men bonding.)
But, all the elements of being a parent.

.......parents.
I think it's safe to say that we (Klay and I) are both PARENTING Emry.
That's another thing about Dating... and being in a relationship.

If it goes good for a while...
It leads to the BIG PICTURE.

We all know what I am saying .
Right?


HOWEVER,
The single mother also needs to learn this one thing when it comes to dating

IT IS OKAY
TO TAKE
 A BREAK
AND BE
JUST AN ADULT

If you have someone to leave your kid(s) with, take a night with just the two of you.
Go away for a weekend... if and when you can.
BE AN ADULT in an ADULT RELATIONSHIP.


The Single Working Mother...
Needs to date with caution.
Accept Love and Help when necessary.
Be herself, as the superwoman she really is.
Never lose sight of the most important thing:
THE CHILD(REN)
And learn when it's okay to transition...
In to a healthy relationship... dating situation.

That's my two cents.
Happy Friday.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thursdacap - 3/29/12 - Exhaustion - A Poem

Haven't slept
this entire week
Nightmares and insomnia
plaguing me.

Stressful Monday
Overwhelming Tuesday
Long Worked Wednesday
Sick Kid Thurday

A cough
Allergies perhaps
Doesn't go away
is that a wheeze today?

Bloodshot eyes
Congestion getting deeper
Wheezing when he speaks
Oh Lord, a fever?!

No school today
Yes, you'll miss meeting the baby chicks
I'm sorry baby, don't be angry
To the doctor with my sick.

Bronchitis
Starts of Pneumonia?
Nebulizer treatments
Antibiotics for sure.

Another day missed
Feeling a tad scared
Need this job
Just to repair

My sick kid
Who can't catch a break
The month of March
Please God, Just go away.

April needs to be better.
I can't stand another month this way
Injury and Illness
Work getting in the way?


Tomorrow is Friday
Should be something great
Klay and I are planning
a spectacular dinner date.

Unless my baby 
Is still wheezing and coughing
Frustrated and Feverish
Can't leave him like that with grandpa.

So, I sit here typing.
Waiting for the next round of medication.
Praying he's up there resting.
Overhead footsteps, I'm hearing.

 Eating like a cow.
Stress getting the better of me
Wishing I weren't alone.
75% of the week.

Exhaustion
My new beau
I'm not sure I can get used to
this life we began

Exhaustion
My foe
Leave me tonight.
Our war can wage later..

I'm sure it will too.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Inappropriate Image Wednesday - 3/28/12 - UNICORN

Good Job Mama really came through this week, giving me yet another GREAT WORD!


UNICORN


without further ado...

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poor kid

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There's always one...
This one is just confusing weird...



NOW COME ON...
I got A BUNCH OF HITS A DAY.
SOMEONE
ANYONE
GIVE ME A WORD FOR NEXT WEEK!


Thanks Good Job Momma!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

HELP!!! NEED HELP FOR TOMORROW

WOULD
SOMEONE
PLEASE
GIVE
ME
A
WORD
(remember it needs to be an INNOCENT WORD)
FOR
INAPPROPRIATE
IMAGE
WEDNESDAY

PLEASE PLEASE
I'll be your best friend.


Yahoo Article Tuesday - You can't compete. You weren't "Born This Way"


My personal belief is that I do not judge someone based on their race, gender, orientation.
I was raised not to hate people, or more specifically not to judge someone because they were different.

Our society isn't the same way.
This girl (yeah, she was born a boy, but, oh boy is she a woman now), can't compete because of her natural birth? I understand that they have this "Natural Born" rule to stop DRAG QUEENS from trying to run in a Beauty Pageant. But, then, again, why not? I've seen some very pretty and talented drag queens!

Off topic, sorry, I do this a lot.

Our society, as a whole, is very close minded.
If it isn't their reality, it isn't right.
This follows through in all topics, from Gender/Orientation to Politics to Religion to FOOD.
Have you read the comment section of a Yahoo Article.
This side is PRO TOPIC but ANGRY!
The other side is ANTI TOPIC and EVEN ANGRIER!
There are a few in the middle, like myself, who try to see objectively.
Who try not to judge.
To see the gray area.

If she was born a boy, but at the age of 4 determined something was off...
and then was undergoing the process to fix it by 14...
She spent a majority of her life believing she was, in fact, a girl.

I understand that the masses and the traditionalists (not to mention the hate mongers) are screaming out that she is in FACT a HE, and that HE should not be able to be in a GIRL pageant.

But,
I think that the people who run/organize these pageants should stop being so uptight.
Our world is quickly changing.
And, by sticking to the "traditional" "uptight" views will only lose them future contestants, investors, etc.

I am really not for Beauty Pageants.
I'm just not that type of girl.
I was once asked to be in one... Miss Teen NY.
This was considered to be a scholarship pageant.
And, since my grades were excellent, and I was cute... They picked me, and another girl.
I was told horror stories about the mothers of the contestants RUINING dresses, and chasing girls out.
I didn't go.
I didn't want to be a part of that.

I didn't have a girl, so I will never have to endure the pageants.
But, if I did have a little girl, and she wanted to rock out a pageant, I would certainly let her.

All this woman wanted to do was compete.
Show off her beauty and talent.
What's wrong with that?

Oh, because at one time she had a little something extra between her legs.

Seems wrong to me.

I do think there should be try outs for these things.
And, I think that the serious contestants should be weened from the jokes.
You know?
Serious Contestants who are female from birth OR female through gender reassignment.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Music Mondays - 3/26/12 - Hard for the Money




Oh yeah, she works hard for the money... BRINGING HER 5 - year old to work with her, when they close school with NO NOTICE...
OH YEAH!!!!!!

Probably won't be so vocal today... there's a good chance Emry will give away my LACK of working....

**GIGGLES**

Have a good day all.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - Time Management

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother

(aka: The Life of a

Pseudo-Single Mother)


Image Detail



 
(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)
TIME MANAGEMENT
A mother needs to be able to micro-manage...
Regardless of the fact if she's stay at home, or a working mom.
Once a child becomes old enough to go to school, this begins.
Around the age of 4 & 5 is when children are old enough to participate in local sports, some after school activities... etc.
This is a working mothers nightmare.
Let me tell you.
 
 
T-ball practice started yesterday, and I can already tell that until mid - late summer, we are going to be having quite a hectic schedule.
And this is JUST for T-BALL.
We were told last night that there would be 2 games (at least) a week.
One on Tuesday's and the other(s) on Saturday.
Tuesday games begin at 5:30p.
The field is relatively close to my house, so that's not a huge deal.
They practice once a week too.
Probably Thursdays.
So Three days a week are going to be dedicated to T-Ball.
Emry seems to love it though... so, I guess I can deal.
Does anyone remember what Tuesdays and Thursdays are?
 
 
Oh, yeah, Nick Nights.
I know this is going to become a problem.
Nick is not going to like both of his nights taken away to just watching Emry play T-ball.
He's going to want to stay later with us.
Or stop him from going to a game or practice.
I can see it now.
I hope for the best though.
Now that I know that 3 day/evening
s per week are going to be hectic.
I need to start super-mega-micro-managing.
I usually get a majority of the cleaning, food shopping done on Saturday.
Now, I am going to have to break up the cleaning on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Which... is probably what I should do...
And I can use cleaning as an excuse to being more active...


But, the food shopping...
Well... That's still going to have to get done on the weekends.
**GROANS**


Now.. that I've set up the tone for this post.


Time Management.

A working single mother needs to have things to a science.
I read an article recently on Yahoo, about the Type A mother.
I have established that I am one of those mothers.
I know where everything goes, when I need it.
I try to map out a schedule as far in advance as I can.
As far as I can see, each day does not need to have any surprises.
Even though, I can relax a little when a surprise does arise.
And, I can deviate from the plan... if there is nothing pressing.


Some people frown upon the Type A, OCD, Control Freak personality.
I just can't see another way to be.
Especially with so there only being 24 hours in a day...
And I have to sleep at least 6 of those hours in order to function properly.
So, I have 18 hours a day to get as much as I can get done.
Oh shit.
Not 18 hrs... I work and commute 9 hours of that day.
I have 9 hours to get as much as I can get done in a day.
Hmmm....
Let's see how that is really spent.
Shall we?
See if I utilize my time wisely.


Do we remember my morning routine?
430a - 7a: I am getting up, getting dressed, making lunches, waking up Emry, feeding & clothing Emry, Miscellaneous chores in between (folding laundry, reconciling my check book, writing a letter or paying a bill) and getting him to latchkey.
2.5 hours spent doing that... 6.5 hours remaining.
INTERMISSION... Work hours have already been accounted for.
5p - 7p: Make and Eat dinner, dishes, Bath/Bed time for Emry... sometimes reading time for Emry.
2 hours used... 4.5 remaining.
There 4.5 approximate hours before I go to bed...
A myriad of things could occur or NOT occur.
Doing more laundry, pre-making lunches or dinners for the week, if I ran the dishwasher then emptying it, lounging on the couch from exhaustion praying for the On Demand to work, writing a blog post, Moving Laundry to Dryer or Dryer to Top of Dryer.... it really does change.


But all in all.. I think given the time I have.. I use it as best as I can....

Could I perhaps get some extra sleep or do more here and there.
Probably.
Will it happen.
Probably this summer when T-ball is in full effect.


What about Klay?
Does he help around the house?
Yes.
He will do some dishes for me.
Or clean up the kitchen after I cook.
He will make Emry dinner sometimes.
And on those days.
I feel very special.
Those days...
I look forward to.


I will willingly give up some responsibility.
Unlike other Type A personalities...
I do NOT have to do it all.
If someone offers...
I am more than willing to let that happen.
Why?
Because there is always something else I could be doing... or getting ahead on.
A mothers job is never done.

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This is why I don't drink coffee that much...
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Most of my days feel like this.

But, then I wonder.
And you may be wondering too.
WHERE IS THE FUN?


On a whole.
We have very little.
That is why Emry is in T-ball.

That is the bad thing about having too much to do...
Sometimes your kid suffers.
I recently noticed that....
So that's where a sport came into play.
I can forgo my downtime, and to more and more everyday.
If he gets to have a little fun with Kids his age.
He's been riding his bike after school recently.
And, been going to bed later...
But, I know he's having fun.
And he's a 5-year old boy.
He's supposed to have fun.


So.
As advice from me.
Being a Micromanaging Mama is GOOD.
As long as you're doing it with your children's best interest at heart.
Sooner or later:
You have to make the time for them to be kids.
I didn't have a child so he could have a boring life.
I want my son to experience as much as he can.
And I want to see it happen.

  

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thursdacap - 3/22/12 - This is the day from Hell

Let's recap first.
............This week has been pleasantly quiet.
Work has been consistent.
Played Zombinis a lot at work this week.
Walking more at work this week on my breaks.
Emry began the week being a bit of a P.I.T.A (pain in the ...you know).
But, he's making steady improvements to be better.
Everyone gets to have off times now and again, children included.

I made an amazing Mexican Lasagna for dinner on Tuesday Night.
It was super tasty.
Think of chopped and fried Mango Jalapeno Chicken Sausage with Sauteed onions and seasoned black beans. Layered with Cheddar and Pepper Jack Cheeses, Enchilada Sauce, and Soft Tortillas.
It was super tasty.
And easy to make.

.....................But, TODAY.
Nuh-uh.
Is the day I should have slept away.

I both this very pretty top.
Black Short sleeve dress shirt, with the ruffle in the front and a tie back.
Very pseudo-Victorian.
It was $10...
It makes me look very fit, and shows the weight I lost.

I paired it with a knee length grey flare skirt.

I looked adorable.
Very professional.

I look at my arms.
Tattoos.
I like them.
I bet you do too.
But, I sigh, and reach for the sweater, that should have looked cute with it.
Nope.
It didn't lay right.
It actually put the 10+ pounds I lost back on my body.
Yup.
I instantly looked fat again.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So, I tried another sweater, nope, MY BLAZER... nope......*twitch twitch*... my OTHER BLAZER. NO?!?!?!?!??!
I changed.
Even though I shouldn't have to.

I am getting a little sick and tired of having to cover up my arms everyday.
My TATTOOS do not define the quality of work I do each day.
THEY DO NOT DIMINISH MY PROFESSIONALISM.
THEY DO NOT MAKE ME ANY LESS INTELLIGENT.

I AM GETTING SICK, of covering up, and looking as professional as I can...
When woman walk around in this building with skirts way above their knees.
No pantyhose.
Tight fitting clothing...
AND MANY OTHER DRESS CODE VIOLATIONS.
But, they get away with it.
Why.
They have a male boss.
and I have found that male bosses will not call a female employee on their dress code violations.
I have opinions as to why.
  1. They are afraid of coming off the wrong way, and getting slapped with a sexual harassment suit.
  2. They just don't notice, because male bosses ARE MEN, and men don't notice certain things.
A woman boss, sees everything.
So.
Here I am.
Stuck.
And frustrated.

It's going to be 85 degrees today.
And when I walk out of the building I will not be in a short sleeve. I will be in long sleeves.

Let's move on.
So, I changed.

I put on something else entirely.

Only spill food on myself while preparing my lunch.

I changed again.

I know this all sounds trivial to the men who read my blog... and to some of the women too... But, believe me this is the tip of the iceberg.

Emry eats fine.
Tries to calm me some.
My son could even see I was in distress today.

I am doing his hair.
Because it is in this mid-long phase... and it's a cowlick nightmare.
So, cool hair dryer usually gets rid of these problems.
NOT TODAY.
He had a BACK JIMMY NEUTRON.
Image Detail 

Imagine this... but in the back of my sons head.. and to the right...

SWOOOSH
It looked like a NIKE SWOOSH.

And no matter what I did...
It wouldn't un SWOOSH.

I got a round brush out.
And prayed.

That kind of worked.

If I could only put his hair into a low ninja style pony tail.
If his Catholic school wouldn't shit a brick... I would totally have just done that.


So... this is a little bit under the tip of the iceberg.
We are late.
I have to still get gas before heading to his school.
3 of the 4 gas pumps are down at the cheap gas station.
And I am not driving up the street just to go to the empty gas station with gas prices 30cents higher.
Oh yeah.
I'm not joking, that one is right off the highway... so they just GET AWAY with charging you for your first born.


Got gas, went to school
Dropped off child.
Got near the highway... and BAM.


THE DENSEST FOG YOU HAVE EVER, EVER SEEN.

Everyone is driving 10 miles under the speed limit.
There is accidents everywhere.
My commute sucked balls.

Yup.
It was that bad.

I come in to work.

My boss is a tad stressed.
There is a big meeting today, and she finds out last minute that there are packets that need to be printed for the presenters (and all in attendance).
Color printing is down in our copy center...
So...
My printer will have to do...
1 - 18 page packet (x18)
1 - 2 page handout (x11)
1 - 7 page spreadsheet (x20)

And I'm sure there's more.

And... when the presenters came in.... she began talking to me like I was a dog.
AND IGNORING MY QUESTIONS.

I....
DO....
NOT.......
WANT TO BE HERE TODAY.

**UGH***

Emry has t-ball practice at 6p tonight, so I have to dash home, grab him from school, feed him and get him to t-ball practice in under an hour.

I thought I could leave early today.
(we're talking like 10 minutes early... no big deal...)
I doubt it now.



*sighs*

and that's my day.

How's yours?


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Rants of the Curvy Mama: VINDICATION

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I have been very outspoken when it comes to the fact that Healthy does not mean stick skinny.

Then I read THIS!
I feel a little sense of relief.

Hopefully this is a trend that will continue to pass on.
GLOBALLY.

It is not right for the fashion industry to market STICK THIN as the norm.
And adjust their clothes sizing to that.
I am convinced that a US size 4 five years ago is different than a US size 4 today.
I actually have the proof.
I HAVE A PAIR OF PANTS FROM BEFORE I HAD EMRY.
I measured them, and then compared them to a Arizona brand size 4 (all American brand, right?)
I gave 2 inches from the old pair, since they were stretched out by wear.
AND IT WAS STILL 3 INCHES BIGGER THAN TODAY'S SIZE 4.
Coincidence? I think not.

And then there is the bullshit about size 6.
SIZE 6 IS NOT A PLUS SIZE.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Israel, you passed a good law.

Props to you.

Oh btw:
I had a Cinnamon bun for a snack today.
It was so tasty.
I immediately took a 15 minute break and walked from the top parking garage to the bottom parking garage.
Probably burned nowhere near the same amount of calories in the Cinnamon bun... but hey, AT LEAST I WALKED.

I have been active every day this week at work, I just need to follow suit when I am at home.

I am doing better though.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Inappropriate Image Wednesday - 3/21/12 - Friend of the Sea Pig.

I had no requests for this weeks post, so, I was a little scared.
But, good ol' Yahoo did not disappoint me. 
Today I read this post, from my friend Autumn at Ghost Hunting Theories.
Creepy animals right?
Well, the Sea Pig got me.
I found him hysterical.

Klay had been watching Frozen Earth the other night, and said something about this Sea Snail... that had these pseduo-wings that came out of it's shell, that made it look like it was flying through the water.

I forgot what it was called.
I wanted to email him the picture of the SEA PIG, and ask him if it was friends with the Sea Snail. 
So I looked up Winged Sea Snail.
I got nothing close.

Then, I looked up, "FLYING SEA SNAIL"

And behold.

****GRAPHIC PLEASE AVERT YOUR CHILDRENS EYES****

Seriously it was like cartoon snail... cartoon snail... 
THIS.


WTF?


And thus, our entry for Inappropriate Image Wednesday.

SOMEONE GIVE ME AN ENTRY FOR NEXT WEEK!!!!

Yahoo Article Tuesday - 3/20/12 - TSA


This video in this article was taken by Matt Dubiel, the father of the 3-year old boy.
The boy is in a body cast after breaking his leg.


I dare not comment on Yahoo.
The backlash for an objective opinion is worse than a lynch mob.


I do not see the TSA agent being rough, or doing something uncommon.
You could hide anything in the padding of a wheelchair or that cast.

The parents were allowed to stay with the child, hold his hand, and comfort him.
The father probably had him scared to death when he started filming it.
Making the boy think SOMETHING was wrong.


You hear about in other countries where bombs are hidden in strollers.
Why couldn't it happen here?
With a cookie cutter family going to Disney Land?


The TSA agent was doing his job.
Plain and Simple.
It's a sucky job.
And I really wish this weren't the way.

But, ever since 9/11... This is the world we live in.

The infamous question, "Have the Terrorists won?"
Yes.
Yes they have.

Even with our freedoms.. we have lost a little of it when it comes to travel.

As long as the parents are with the child.
As long as the agent is kind of gentle.
I don't see a problem with this.

Like it or Hate it.
My opinion.

I have seen TSA videos in which the Agent was RUDE and ROUGH with a child.
That is wrong.
I have seen children separated by a glass wall from their parents.
That is wrong.
I have seen little girls skirts raised and them patted down.
WRONG.

I think this is the most HUMANE TSA search with a child I have seen to date.

What is your opinion on the TSA body searches and body scans?


Monday, March 19, 2012

Rants of the Curvy Mama: COMPLAINING

So, as you all know, since January of this year I have been on a quest to become Healthy and Fit (and hopefully slim down in the process).

At first, for the first month or so, I cataloged every calorie, all burned-calories.
Not so much fun... But, in the first 2 months I lost about 10 lbs.
I haven't gained it back... Are you proud?
I still want to lose at least another 5 lbs, but I would love to boost that number to 10lbs or even 15!

All in all, I know the measurements I want to be.

Bust: 36 (I'm already there. **Looks Down** Good girls.)
Waist: 28
Hip: 30-32

I recently had to take my measurements, because I had ordered clothing to wear to the Steampunk World Fair 2012, and I had come to the realization that... I'm still EXACTLY where I was a few months ago.

I have maintained the lost inches.. but haven't lost anymore.

It is slightly defeating... but, I have to call a spade and spade.

I have not been motivated to go to the gym everyday at work, nor have I been doing as much ZOMBIROBICS as I should (Xbox 360's Kinect is a good friend of mine... Rise of Nightmares, Just saying.)..... So, I guess the fact that I haven't gained any weight is a plus...

I just...
DON'T KNOW HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED ENOUGH TO PUSH MYSELF.
Does that make sense?
I do eat a whole rainbow.
I eat more fruits and veggies than I ever have.
I eat less carbs and grains than ever before...
I take a BUTTLOAD of vitamins and supplements.

So, it really is just getting my ass in motion and working the fuck out.

That's just it.


So, I am going to go to the gym to walk, run, jog... everyday no matter what.
I will play my VIDEO GAME (It's kinect, so I'm moving) 3 times a week.

I will run around with my kid while he rides his bike.
I will put the LAUNDRY, EARLIER BEDTIME/BATH TIME, and extra MAMA CHILL TIME on HOLD to do this.

I will do this.
And I will complain about doing this here.

Whenever I gosh darn feel like it.

I read blogs where mothers are running marathons... MONTHLY.
Losing 1 - 2 pounds a week.
Actively trying to workout even though they are INJURED.

I can move my butt more.
NO MORE LAZY.

I got the food in moderation thing down.
Now... I need to get the ACTIVITY.

Please look out for a future post, probably about how SORE I am.

Music Monday & "Healthy" Discussion- 3/19/12 - Rainy Days and Mondays.



Yup it's that kind of day.

I did NOT sleep last night.
I wanted too.....
It just didn't happen for me.

I fell asleep on the couch reading...
A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett, if you're curious.
I woke up, realized that I needed to get into my bed...
Left Klay to his own devices on the couch...
And went up to bed.
Only... NOT to sleep.
I couldn't get it going.


The room was insanely hot.
The window was open... But, still.
Cool air did not help the room.

I dozed on and off for a while...
But, as of 430am...
I was still...
EXHAUSTED


I took all my vitamins.
I had a banana.
Hopefully that will hold me over and give me necessary energy to make it to lunch.

Probably will post later...

I have to write a post or two a week... in addition to the normal posts, about my need to get healthy (and fit).
More about the activity I'm doing, and less about the food.
But, I love food...
AHHHHHHh.
When I was writing about my goal to be healthy, I was doing much better.
So... I think a second post once or twice a week should be dedicated to this journey.

I haven't gained any weight.
I am maintaining the 10+ pounds that I have lost.
But, I want to keep losing.
I want to keep looking better and better every month.
Especially with this wedding Klay is taking me to.
It's a month away.
I can look even more ROCKING in a month...
Right?

MOTIVATION.
MOTIVATION.

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I am much like the girl all the way on the right... But, I really want to be the girl in the middle.
That's a nice size without being TOO thin.

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See she's fit and has a little ripple in her belly.
That's fine with me TOO!


So keep an eye out for my Secondary Weekly Posts entitled:
Rants of the Curvy Mama

Friday, March 16, 2012

Eleven Things - Oh boy.

Rules

Write 11 random things.

Answer my 11 questions.

Write 11 new questions.

Tag someone else.

(THANKS Good Job Mama!)

RANDOM
  1. I love to cook.
  2. Sometimes I'm like a little kid who waits to long to go potty, and I have to waddle to the bathroom. (speaking of which... brb! 0_o)
  3. I hate candied coconut.
  4. I own way too many pairs of PJ's
  5. Chocolate Raspberry ANYTHING is awesome
  6. I always try to match my underwear to my bra
  7. I want to own a cabin in the woods... but a cool, HUGE-ish cabin.
  8. I saw a silverfish yesterday, and screamed bloody murder.. it was right by my face.
  9. Purple is my favorite color.
  10. I loved Boston Terrier's until I owned one... now, I want a big dog again. But, don't tell that stinky, loud snoring nuisance... at least Emry loves him.
  11. I like smelling Emry's stinky socks.. Because he thinks it's hysterical when I make faces at them. They really do STANK!
QUESTIONS I WAS ASKED!

  1. What is your favorite movie? what is your favorite line/quote from that movie?
    Doesn't that count as two questions? Um, favorite movie, Boondock Saints, favorite quote, "No we must all fear evil men, but what we must fear most of all, is the indifference of good men"
  2. If you were the president what would one of your first official acts be?
    My first official act, would be to make a law that would ammend the freedoms the media has. Not like nightline, cnn, or actual NEWS, but all this papparazzi and gossip mag bologna has to stop... Especially when they change the facts or distort the images. I think it's disgusting that GossipNews has become ACTUAL news.
  3. What is one thing you could not live without?
    The one thing I could not live without is my son. He is the reason why I try so hard. The reason I wake up and keep going. Without him, I really don't have a purpose.
  4. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?
    Chicken Tikka Masala (it comes with basmati rice and naan by me, so it's ONE THING).
  5. If you could meet any celebrity who would it be? why?
    I've met a few celebrities and reality stars... And, since I know that I wouldn't be an oober dork about it, I would want to meet and have a full conversation with, Amy Lee (Evanescence), she's my musical idol.
  6. Is there a moment in your life that changed you forever?
    Yes. <You didn't ask what it was though. ;) >
  7. What would be your idea for a perfect date?
    Candles, Cool Jazz Music, Laughter...and really really good food. (This place was perfect, all they needed was the jazz...)
  8. What is your favorite color?
    PURPLE
  9. If you could have any job/career in the world what would it be?
    High Paid Successful Director of Something Stupid Easy....actually, if what I was doing was closer to home, it be just about perfect.
  10. What is your favorite instrument to play and why? if you don't what is one you would like too?
    Guitar and Piano.. a lot of soul can go in to those both.
  11. Would you rather have really bad smelling breath or really stinky feet?
    Stinky Feet. They can be hidden with thick shoes, or thick slippers... and washed away...

QUESTIONS FOR Girl's Got Shine, Autumn Forest @ GHT, Dr. Heckle, Sue Rock

  1. Favorite Color?
  2. Favorite Magic Trick?
  3. Worst Job?
  4. If you could do any activity, regardless of cost or location, what would it be?
  5. Oreos or Chips Ahoy?
  6. What was the most embarassing thing, others have watched you do?
  7. Favorite Song Lyric?
  8. Since we're all bloggers, worst post you ever did... We all have ones we wish others didn't see.
  9. Has milk ever came out your nose? WHEN?
  10. Do you text while driving?... Oooh I'm going to tell!!!! Citizens Arrest!!!
  11. Are you angry I tagged you in this post? Don't HATE ME!

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - "indomitable"

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother
(aka: The Life of a
Pseudo-Single Mother)
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(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)

INDOMITABLE
"that cannot be subdued or overcome, as persons, will, or courage"


In other words, undefeatable.

I have met a lot of divorced or single mothers who are defeated by their circumstance.
And justifiably so, raising a child (or children) is not easy. Working on top of it... even harder.

Somehow, I was of the mindset of not being broken by this circumstance.

I have heard, "I shouldn't have to do this alone." "It's not fair that he gets to have a life and I don't." "If he won't step up, why should I?"

My favorite one, "You let him get away with too much, by doing as much as you do."
Yep. I've had someone say that to me.

Now, here's my opinion on the whole single mom thing as it comes to 
taking care of/supporting your child. 

Yes, it sucks. Yes, it is not what any of us wanted. I bet more than half of us wanted the storybook life, with the house and a white fence. A husband/boyfriend/companion to love us and provide for our family. Yes, we probably, in this economy, also realized we would have to work a little too... But, all in all... To be a happy mother and wife/girlfriend/companion was definitely on that list.

However, it is not the hand we were dealt. I am not one to let the fuckery of a "man child" ruin the world of my innocent child. It is not my son's fault that one half of his biological genes is a fuck up. (Who can't even provide for himself.)

I, stepped up enough for two people. I work my ass off. I get up at 430am every weekday. I get ready for work, make breakfast, do a chore, and then by 530a I am waking up Emry. I get him fed, dressed, and presentable for school. By 7a we are at his school dropping him off at latchkey, and I am flying (quite literally) to work.

No, I do not have the worst job on earth. Yes, I use the word cake walk a lot with my position. I am very lucky. But, I wasn't always. I had the crappy jobs too. Let's meander off course for a moment:

I was trying to get my massage therapy license when I had my son. Infancy and Studying was not easy. Being dirt poor, while the ex worked a full time job, made it harder. In between school and being the sole parent (even though the ex was around, here and there.. yes we were married at that time, and no it doesn't mean he was with us. Yes, he was that big of a loser.) I  worked too. Stupid mall jobs, that did not care about me obtaining an education or being a mom. Late hours. Weird Hours. EVER CHANGING SHIFTS. Being paid shit for a lot of extra work.

Than, I graduated, and went into SPA work. Sounds calm and relaxing... right? Not so much.
Once again. Weird Shift, Weird Hours, A spa owner that would DISCOUNT EVERY SERVICE WE DID (supposedly to get more clientele coming in the door), thus, my income... not so great. However, this woman understood I was a working mother, who's husband (God, do I hate calling him that) was deployed all the time. (Yeah, when they ex couldn't get a real job, he assumed the Naval Reserves would be good for "us". No. Just him.  Another way for him to stick his head in the sand, and cheat, and NOT grow up.) Or did she? After a 14 hour Saturday of straight massaging.... My arms were tired, and it was 20 minutes after I was supposed to be on the way home, I told her I had to go. "It's not my fault you haven't the proper childcare. You have two massages left." The other massage therapist never showed. I told her I had to go, she grabbed my arms and yelled at me... Like I was a disobedient child. That was it... I was done there. Nuh-uh. Fuck that.

MERCHANDISING for Home Depot Garden Department came next. See what I told you? Craptastic Jobs have riddled my past. I lost a lot of weight lugging plants, trees, etc. from place to place. I learned not to totally HATE bugs, or be COMPLETELY frightened of them. I got the best tan I had in years. Once again, crap pay, crap hours. Nice people though. Nice company.

That brings me to the cake walk job. (I know it took a while to get back on track... sorry.) Emry was a little over 3 when I got this job. Slowly after, I got divorced too. I am glad that I did all the crap work that led me here. Because now, we don't have a lot of money, but we have money to survive.

Yes, I work far away, but, I support my son and my home. In the end, it will all work out in the wash.

I am not going to be defeated just because I am doing more than any one woman should have to.

I work at a job and then I come home to work in the house.
The house will not clean itself (believe me, I have begged for a cleaning poltergeist... Summoned and prayed for... it won't come... obviously it is already employed somewhere else).
The laundry is the same problem...
Homework doesn't get checked over by anyone else.
It's me.

I have Klay.
He is a blessing. (Even though he'd snark at me just for calling him that... not the religious type)
He is why I am a PSEUDO-Single mother.
He is becoming more and more helpful as time goes on.
He is there for Emry and I.
He is as supportive as he can be... and in time, I know that will increase.
But, even if it didn't... I know I can do this .... I know that I can do it all...

I know that doing it all sucks.
But it just doesn't change the fact that (in my mind) it has to get done.

I have been on medicaid.
I have been on WIC.
I have been THIS CLOSE to needing welfare.
But, all of that is because the dead weight... you know.... ex........ was holding us down.

Once, I realized that I was strong and didn't need him... Him leaving, wasn't a big deal.
Moving forward and upward was easy.

Life isn't perfume hearts and butterflies for me.
It's hard.
But, I believe that if I work hard, in the end... something will give.
It will get easier.

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." 
~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

 
"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed." 
~Linda Wooten



This single mother needs to be indomitable.
Undefeated by circumstance.
Unyielding to follow the societal norms.

Don't give up.
I know the future is unclear, and dark.
I know there are some who might feel lost.
Take you child's hand, and push forward...
Do right for you, and your child...
And don't stop... until you see the sun shining.


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Happy Friday Everyone!




Thursday, March 15, 2012

Plateau

I've hit a plateau with my weight loss.
I am becoming increasingly UNMOTIVATED.
I'm not sure why.

Just a phase I suppose.

I need to figure out a way to get back on track PERMANENTLY.
But, I can't seem to get there.
I'm not eating super bad.
I did eat a bigger lunch than I should have.
But, I was really hungry.
Now, I feel kind of bloated, and unhappy about it.
I'll have salad for dinner.

Has anyone noticed that I'm blogging in brief thought patterns.
Nothing is really stringing together like it usually does.
Have I lost my flow?
I don't think so, I just think that my mind feels... scattered.
Probably just need some more rest.
But, how much must a working mom rest, in order to be well rested?
I don't go to bed awfully late.... 9p at the latest during the week.
And for the most part, I sleep right through until 445a.
That's not horrible.
It's not the BEST sleep...
but..... almost 8 hours... That isn't bad!
And sometimes I go to bed even earlier!
Or I fall asleep while watching TV and then wake up just to move up to bed.

Anyway.
Rest has to be the answer to that riddle.

Now, getting back on the weight loss track....
THAT's perseverance and dedication to keep active.
I think that's my problem, I have been working out less and less.
No bueno. I know.
And when you get out of the habit.. you get lazy and don't want to get back IN the habit.
yeah, that's what it is.
Most definitely.

I got to start packing up to go home.

But, I found out that my boss will be back sometime TOMORROW.
DURING THE DAY.

Overjoyed once again.
(Sarcasm)

I have to plan the blog for tomorrow.
Pseudo-Single Parenting Friday.
Nah. I'll think of a better name.
More pizazz.

Goodnight everyone.

Thursdacap - 3/15/12 - Google+

I just got a Google + account.

If you have one... add me!!!!

SN: Kateri Von Steal

I'm still figuring out how to use it...
It looks more private than FB...
And, we all know how I feel about FB.
POOP

How was the week?
Let's see,
It wasn't awful.
It wasn't great....
It just WAS.

The weather has been beautiful.
Emry has gone out and rode his bike 2 days in a row now.
Which is great.. he's been burning off a lot of extra energy.

T-ball has put him on a team called the Lug Nuts. Very cute.
Our little next door neighbor, Aidan, is on the team too... That will be good for both of them.
To actually know someone on their team.

Work has been quite, all of the "Officers" are on a retreat... Just one more day of this.. than the weekend, and then they are ALL back.

Can you tell I'm overjoyed by this?

So, has everyone had a chance to see the new Layout?
I'm still thinking of Changing some of it... But, it's 90% what I want.
At least for this year.

Otherwise things are quite... I spent last night cleaning up and doing a little bit of laundry.

I am considering doing a knew line of posts on Friday....
About pseudo-single mothering.
I really don't classify myself as a single mom.
I see a single mom as someone with little to no help.
I have a support system... a small one... but a support system, nonetheless.

So we'll see...
Right now, honestly, I'm trying to figure out this Google+ thing... Anyone have any advice on that front?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Changed it up

I am that bored.


New Blog Layout.


Everyone Enjoy.

I think this is brighter...
Less... I don't know...

Melancholy.

I wish

There is NO ONE around today.
Not for the rest of the week actually.
Maybe my boss will peak in on Friday...
You know she's like that.

But, I was just sitting here thinking...
"I wish I could see my kid."
"I wish I could go outside and play with my kid."
"Maybe call him... but he's at school... can't call him at school."

Weird, right?
It is a very slow day at work.

It brings me back to wanting to work closer to home.
Just so that I could spend more time with Emry.
I want to SEE him grow up.
If I worked closer to home, I could work while he was in school.
Most buses pick up the kids around 8-8:30a
and have them home around 3:30-4p
Even if he had to go to latchkey for one afternoon hour...
I could still spend more time with my kid.
and that be super.

I am currently weighing my options,
and looking outside of the company I currently work at.
I love my job.
It's a good job.
I am very grateful for what I have.
I just.
Miss my kid.
It's understandable... right?

Just thought I'd share that with y'all.
Your thoughts?



Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Inappropriate Image Wednesday - 3/14/12 - CROWN - Who's Ready?

Welcome to this weeks installment of
Inappropriate Image Wednesday.
Today's word comes from my fellow blogger, GoodJobMama, and the word of the day is:

CROWN

crown  [kroun]

noun
1.any of various types of headgear worn by a monarch as a symbol of sovereignty, often made of precious metal and ornamented with valuable gems.
2. a similar ornamental headgear worn by a person designated king or queen in a pageant, contest, etc.
3. an ornamental wreath or circlet for the head, conferred by the ancients as a mark of victory, athletic ormilitary distinction, etc.
4. the distinction that comes from a great achievement.
5. the power or dominion of a sovereign
6. (often initial capital letter ) the sovereign as head of the state, or the supreme governing power of a stateunder a monarchical government.
7. any crownlike emblem or design, as in a heraldic crest.
8. the top or highest part of anything, as of a hat or a mountain.
9. the top of the head: Jack fell down and broke his crown.
10. Dentistry .
a. the part of a tooth that is covered by enamel.

b. an artificial substitute, as of gold or porcelain, for the crown  of a tooth.
11. the highest point of any construction of convex section or outline, as an arch, vault, deck, or road.
12. the highest or most nearly perfect state of anything.
13. an exalting or chief attribute.
14. the acme or supreme source of honor, excellence, beauty, etc.
15. something having the form of a crown, as the corona of a flower.
16. Botany .

a. the leaves and living branches of a tree.
b. the point at which the root of a seed plant joins the stem.
c. a circle of appendages on the throat of the corolla; corona.
17. the crest, as of a bird.
18. Architecture .

a. a termination of a tower consisting of a lanternlike steeple supported entirely by a number of flyingbuttresses.
b. any ornamental termination of a tower or turret.
19. Also called button. Horology . a knurled knob for winding a watch.
20. any of various coins bearing the figure of a crown or crowned head.
21. a former silver coin of the United Kingdom, equal to five shillings: retained in circulation equal to 25 newpence after decimalization in 1971.
22. the monetary unit of Denmark, Iceland, Norway, or Sweden: a krona or krone.
23. the koruna of Czechoslovakia.
24. a crimped metal bottle cap.
26. Cookery . crown roast.
27. Also called bezel, top. Jewelry . the part of a cut gem above the girdle.
28. a drill bit consisting of a metal matrix holding diamond chips.
29. Also called head. Nautical . the part of an anchor at which the arms join the shank.
30. Machinery .

a. a slight convexity given to a pulley supporting a flat belt in order to center the belt.
b. a slight convexity given to the outer faces of the teeth of two gears so that they mesh toward their centersrather than at the ends.
31. a size of printing paper, 15 × 20 inches (38 × 51 cm). Compare double crown.
32. Nautical, Machinery . swallow1 ( def. 12 ) .
33. Knots . a knot made by interweaving the strands at the end of a rope, often made as the beginning of aback splice or as the first stage in tying a more elaborate knot.
34. a crownpiece.
verb (used with object)
35. to invest with a regal crown,  or with regal dignity and power.
36. to place a crown  or garland upon the head of.
37. to honor or reward; invest with honor, dignity, etc.
38. to be at the top or highest part of.
39. to complete worthily; bring to a successful or triumphant conclusion: The award crowned his career.
40. Informal . to hit on the top of the head: She crowned her brother with a picture book.

41. to give to (a construction) an upper surface of convex section or outline.
42. to cap (a tooth) with a false crown.
43. Checkers . to change (a checker) into a king after having safely reached the last row.
44. Knots . to form a crown  on (the end of a rope).
verb (used without object)
45. Medicine/Medical . (of a baby in childbirth) to reach a stage in delivery where the largest diameter of the fetal head is emerging from the pelvic outlet.


You ready?
Here we go!
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Innocent
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Innocent
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Anime... but still she's covered..
Where is her crown by the way?
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Skanky...But still... Not so bad.
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Okay.. now we're pushing it...
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Random.. No Crown.... But still... OKAY

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I thought this one was pretty cute.


Thank you GoodJobMama, for finding a pretty innocent word to search on Yahoo Images!
Pat yourself on the back.


I need a word for next week.
Anybody?
Suggestions?