People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Hurricane Sandy

Yes we were affected.
We are fine up by me... however, just south of us, everything has gone to shit.

I really can't post, since I have Emry home from school for the 3rd day in a row...
Isolation and cabin fever setting in.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Uninspired by the Good.... True Story

Work has been insane.

I sit here, with some free time, ready to vent out to the world...

And nothing comes.


And, I realize that I am mostly inspired by ... the bad stuff... I rarely write about the GOOD.

That's actually quite a big problem.

........ A lot of good things are in my world.  . . . On a DAILY basis.

Why not write about them? Why do they not SPARKLE as much as the bad stuff?

By writing about the good, won't I be in the mind-set of good? and thus allow positivity to fill me? and direct me onward to future positive events?

Just saying.
Makes sense to me.

Then WHY... can't I just do it?

Good Good  Good Good Good Good Good Good Good Good
Good Good  Good Good Good Good Good Good Good Good

Hmmmm...... I don't think that's exactly what I am going for here....

Emry read me a book while we were at the Library last Sunday.
(ooh that's good... let's discuss this)
Where we live, you can't just sign up for a library card, and start to check out books.
The library card comes in the mail. SO, instead of checking out numerous books, we hung out in the children's room... and I read a few to him, and the last book (Clifford makes a Friend)... I realized that he was reading it to me... ALL OF IT..... It was pretty spectacular.

I never really realized how large our library was... I hadn't been there since I was little, and then.. it was in a different building. I remember having to climb HUGE STAIRS to get into it... Now, they have it in the old Train Station building.
It's beautiful.

Emry likes it even more so... because it used to be where the trains were. He is over the moon about trains.....

We went hiking... (another good thing... continue to discuss)
(It does not mean that I completed #3 of the list... unfortunately we don't think Emry can handle hiking up the Mountain at Lake I'm this was just prep work for when that comes.)
So we went hiking at Winding Hills... which is about 10 minutes from home.
There is a beautiful lake, and you can take numerous trails around it.
We all had a great time.
Brought a small picnic, and then played on the playground they have near the BBQ stations.
It was wonderful and beautiful... and AMAZING family time.

I think, even if it's just to myself, I should write down 3 good things that happen a day....
Just so I can start to be more inspired by the amazing things in my world.

Monday, October 22, 2012

I did it.. I did it - #20

I wrote this earlier and then realized that it linked directly to

#20 on THE LIST.

Suggested by Britney at It's on Random!, I was to "Test Drive a HOT car".

Well, I just bought a hot little car... and I test drove it... so


Are you excited me too?

2 down 18 to go.

Which number will I complete next?
WHO KNOWS?!?!?!?!

So much fun, completing a list that just FOR ME!

I got a Car... I got a car

A stinking cute Brand New Car!

2013 - Ford Fiesta - Silver



Thursday, October 18, 2012

Strength - Calm - Will power (Affirmations for Today)

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
~Mahatma Ghandi
“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”
~Arnold Schwarzenagger
“Inward calm cannot be maintained unless physical strength is constantly and intelligently replenished.”
"They sicken of the calm, who know the storm”
~Dorothy Parker
"The education of the will is the object of our existence."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Our bodies are our gardens... our wills are our gardeners."
~William Shakespeare
I am never one to back down, I fight the good fight, for sometimes way too long. It's just in my nature.
I vent... here... A LOT... and I know I have said, that I use this place as my own personal sounding board. I write it all down, and then, I will re-read it, to gain perspective.
No matter how defeated I am feeling, I know that my inner strength, my calm and will power will guide me through... and get me to where I should be.
There are many a day that I only see the flaws that surround my world. There are those days that I dwell on them. I've learned that those days are normal... not to dread when they come, but to use them, to make the next days better.
Everything, no matter how big or small, is a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.
I believe that everyone has good inside of them. I give people second, third, twenty third chances.
I, also, believe that if someone ignore the good inside of them for too long, like a plant, it dies.
Due to that fact: Sooner or later, I stop extended chances.
Patience is a virtue.
I don't really have it.
But, I'm learning every day on ways to be more patient.
Love is more than just a word, it's a complete lifestyle and choice. You either choose to love with your whole heart, or not understand the purpose of love.
Love is more than yourself, your significant other, and/or your children... when people finally see that... I think  we'll have less reality television  society will be better for it.
It's Thursday... but why does it still feel like a Monday?
Enjoy your day.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I'll admit....

...that I got this idea from Not the Life I ordered - Sue!

...that I would rather be unhealthy than healthy, but try very hard to be as healthy as possible.

...that I have very little patience.
...that sometimes I'll just flat out cry... It feels good to release.

...that I wish I lived a rich and easy life.

...that I could eat Indian Take-out, on a daily basis.

...that I am a private person in reality... but will vent 90% of my shit here. Figure that one out.

...that I have far too many holiday themed socks.

...that liars, in my book, are the scum of the earth. I meant 'scum of the earth.'

...that most of the time, I am dreaming about being in my bed, watching stupid, mind-numbing television, and eating every category of junk food... sweet, salty and savory.
...that if I happen to have a bottle of soda in the fridge, and it goes flat, I will pour out whatever remains. I hate flat soda.
...that I recently updated my contact information at work to reflect my maiden name... and the backlash... and stupidity from others is making me wish that I didn't.
...that I will write entire posts.... and then just delete them.... There are just somethings I can't post.
...that I don't mind advice from everyone... even though I may not follow all opinions to a "T".

It's finally happened

My car is on it's way out.
It's official.
My 2006 Scion xB (with approximately 136,000 miles on it), has met it's match.
I keep having to do these costy repairs on it.
It just comes down to the fact that I rather have a car loan, then pay 5 times the amount on a car repair.
That makes sense right?

So... at the present time, I am looking into the following vehicles.
2013 Ford Fiesta
2013 Nissan Versa
2013 Kia Rio
2013 Scion iQ
They are all kind of in my range. The Scion iQ is a little above (at $16,000)... But right now a lot of the dealerships have amazing financing deals.... I might be able to get the Fiesta for a great deal....
We'll see.
With all the miles I drive to work, it needs to be a new car.
It needs to be reliable, and have great gas mileage on the highway..... It should be big enough to carry Emry, myself, Klay, and a few bags of groceries.
I don't need a truck or an SUV... it doesn't have to be pretty... It just has to get me through the next 6 or 7 years.... Let it be known that I drive about 20,000 miles a year (give or take a few).
Anyone have any input?
Send me good energy either way, for the right sales person (one with a soul would be preferable)... to get me into the right car for me.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The List - #1 - Complete

#1 Go to an Awesome Halloween Event... like a Cheesy Haunted House.


In attendance, Klay, Myself, my friend Angela, and her friend ...Buddy... yup his name was actually buddy.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Getting into the "Spirit" of Halloween

So, this past weekend... Klay and I took a couple hours to ourselves... and went to SPIRIT HALLOWEEN.
I decided to give y'all a picture post of our adventure.
Lots of fun... with us being really goofy.


Here we go: First we must start with the "WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET" poses. Yup, there's Klay.... Looking like a viking. I made him try on two helmets.... Because I couldn't ... Repeat couldn't stop giggling over this stuff.
Then we decided to take a couple shot. You know... with a shark eating my head.. and him ready to go to a

There were SO MANY set us. All of them moving. With noises, and sounds... and... well creeptastic wonders.

The Teddy bear was really cute. At least to me... Not sure why he was in a Halloween store.... LOOK HOW CUTE?!

This is potentially why Klay and I will never have a baby. I swear this is EXACTLY what Klay's baby would look like.

You can be pretty... even in a horrific Gas MASK!
Yup Klay found play swords...
And a mask... I think this is a PERFECT HALLOWEEN COSTUME!
So there you have it... Our adventure in Spirit Halloween.
What do you do to get into the Spirit of Halloween?
Do you still dress up? I know I do.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Tuesday - 2 more days til BDAY

My Birthday is 2 days away.
Can't say I'm excited... can't say that I'm not...
What I think I am MORE excited about.. is that I have FRIDAY OFF.
So, I have a 3 day work week. (Since yesterday was a holiday... God Bless You Mr. Christopher Columbus, without your happy mistake, I would not get a day off.)
I am glad everyone enjoyed my post from last Friday. .... It was a PLEASURE to right.
I was truly inspired.
Perhaps today, something else will give me a spark.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Being Me: Statements of Affirmation

Being Me.
Being You.
Being Confident in yourself...
Owning yourself.
Owning your actions.
Standing up and being accountable for all that is in your hands.
Not making excuses for yourself, or for others.
Letting your freak flag fly high, while being a productive, successful adult.

Knowing that there will be bad days, and embracing them when they come.
Why? Because there is always the BRIGHTEST sun right after the DARKEST storm.

Never apologizing for who you are.
Never putting others down so you can feel superior.
Associating with the people of quality, not associating with people just for quantity.
Loving yourself, so that you show love to others.
Letting your inner beauty shine through (and overpower) your outer beauty.
Smiling even though your crying on the inside.
Seeing the brighter side, even when others only want to wallow in the shadows.
Being able to laugh at yourself.

Being able to call yourself out on your faults.
Trying to improve yourself... taking positive steps... daily.


Kicking the chores to the side, so that you can enjoy your family.
Enjoying your family, even though you are ALL doing chores.


Realizing that crying is not necessarily a weakness.
Using your sadness to propel you into joy.
Being Me.
Not so Easy.
But, completely worth it.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Almost Friday.

Today and Tomorrow are probably going to be the longest days ever.
Three day weekend approaches... thus, the lengthening of the work days.
It's a subtext to Murphy's law.
Just saying.
I have no more to write.
I have no more on my brain...
It was just here.. where did it go?
I don't know.
I haven't been sleeping well.
It's been a couple hours on and a couple hours off.
I'm not exhausted. I'm just not myself.
Not on top of my game.
And then on the ride in today, I thought, about my birthday. . . .
Which is in 7 days....
Every one's birthday is celebrated here.
I have the distinct feeling mine won't be.
That no one will even realize it's happening...
I don't mention it.
I don't want to solicit a cake and hoopla.
I just want to be considered... you know... equal to everyone else.
But, I won't be.
As previously stated, I am not a friend maker.
I don't deal with crap and I don't shade the truth.
Makes it REALLY HARD to keep friends.
Even my best friend, Lissa, she even has distanced herself from me.
I'm used to it.
I just kind of hurts.
I accept people for who they are.
I don't ask them to be something for me.
But, not everyone is that way....
Not even people who claim to be... open and honest. . . .
I am, however, getting super excited to do my List.
So excited.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Dear My Love & THE LIST

Dear My Love:

Haven't you wanted to be with me? And, dear my love, haven't you longed to be free?

Uhhhhh...... Evanescence reference.... Don't know where that came from...

Moving on.



I had wonderful suggestions so, next to the last 5 ideas on the list, I will list a blog link for where it came from.
  1. Go to an Awesome Halloween Event... like a Cheesy Haunted House.
  2. Go on a real Ghost Hunt.
  3. Hike up that mountain that overlooks Lake Minnewaska... AKA: stop being such a baby about heights, and falling.
  4. Bake something edible, and not like cupcakes... like a cake, or a cobbler or something.
  5. Read at least one book a month.
  6. Get a mani/pedi.
  7. Do Processed Food & Red meat Fast: One week of just Veggies and Fruits.
  8. Stick to my guns, and pre-make dinners for the freezer, instead of saying I'm going to do it and forget. (Atleast twice a month.... don't want to overpack the freezer)
  9. Buy a set of free weights, and exercise 2x a week at home.
  10. Actually take 3x a week to walk/jog for 20minute (or more) intervals.
  11. Date Night. It's been too long.
  12. Go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art OR ANY MUSEUM.
  13. Pumpkin Picking
  14. Play my guitar at least once a month.
  15. *WILD CARD 1* Meditate Regularly (by Autmumn Forest @ Ghost Hunting Theories\
  16. *WILD CARD 2* Spa Day (by My buddy @ Girl's Got Shine!)
  17. *WILD CARD 3* Buy something sexy for myself (and Klay) (by Britney @ It's on Random!)
  18. *WILD CARD 4* Go skiing (a fear of mine) (suggested by my dad, he doesn't blog.. lol)
  19. *WILD CARD 5* Clean out my closet  (by My buddy @ Girl's Got Shine!)
  20. *WILD CARD 6* Test Drive a HOT car (by Britney @ It's on Random!)
As I said, when I accomplish something, I will let you guys know.
20 tasks in one year... HOW HARD CAN THAT BE?

Monday, October 1, 2012


"There are the waves and there is the wind, seen and unseen forces. Everyone has these same elements in their lives, the seen and unseen, karma and free will." ~Kuan Yin
"People pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply: by the lives they lead." ~Edith Wharton
“Everyone tries to define this thing called Character. It's not hard. Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking.”
~ Anonymous
"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."
~ Mark Twain

“If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.”
~ John Maxwell
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”
~ Anonymous

It's very hard for some to understand that your previous actions dictate your future plans.
It's very hard THEN for some to understand that you can NOT be a good person only in front of others.
It is thus harder still for some to understand why they do not grow.
Why do I say this?
What led me to this topic today?
It makes me so sad the complacency in some.
The fact that it is NEVER their fault for their own life.
How there is no direction, no back up plan, no NOTHING.
And how I have to deal with it, for the sake of being the better person, and the responsible adult.
Regardless of how I feel, or what I think... I know that there is a certain way things are done.
That nothing really is in my control and that... well... if I want something that isn't part of the "plan"... I'm not going to get it, and if I force the proverbial hand to get it.. I will lose it, quickly and with consequence.
I do not lie.
I do not cheat.
I do not steal.
I feel for others, even if they could give two shits about me.
I do for others, even though I will never get a thank you.
I give to others, even though it will never be reciprocated or returned.
I have shitty days.
They make me stronger.
They drive me to work harder.
And that is it.
I take blame for my mistakes.
I do NOT make the SAME mistakes.
I always have a plan.
I always have savings (not as much as I want.. but something.)
I always have goals.
I do not expect ANYTHING from ANYONE.
When you expect things... you will ALWAYS be let down.
I do not feel that any position is below me.
I would work 3 crappy jobs to support Emry and I.
I would NOT camp out on ANY ONE'S COUCH because I cannot make ends meat.
I especially would not push myself into a "friends" mothers house because I cannot make ends meat.
I would not get copious tattoo's, go to several concerts, and then STILL live on said person(s) couch.
As you can see as I start to specify....
This person...
This "adult"...
Really irks me.
Any guesses?
Yup... Ex-Husband.
Has been "laid off".
I'm not sure I believe that one.
He's always on the wrong side of the curve.
And, there is nothing I can (or will do).
I tried for 5 years to try and show this person the error in their ways.
That scheming and lying was not to way to do things.
He doesn't get it.
He will never get it.
And I pray... on a daily basis that there is some divine light that SMACKS HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD and shows him a better way.
You can't force anyone to do ANYTHING.
People on a whole RESENT being told they are WRONG.
So, when I heard, even though it was 2 weeks after the fact (and when I didn't receive the 17% usually deposited in my checking)... I apologized for the sucky situation and gave some ideas in order to bide his time.
I got yelled at.
Certain places he WOULD not work.
But these places are in NEED of people and fast.
It could be used as a stepping stone, in order to find another position.
It could help maintain INCOME.
I gave up.
He doesn't care.
Not even about himself.
So, I apologized again, and told him I had to go.
And how he thinks that he is a GOOD influence in Emry's world. . . IS BESIDES ME.
But, I digress.
I am safe.
Emry is safe.
We are not burdened by Nick's awful decision making skills anymore.
We are above water, and have been for the past 2.5 years.
We do better every year.
Emry is more confident and calm EVERY YEAR.
Every day.
We are better without Nick... every day.
And that is all that matters.

I am not in control of any one's life. I am not in control of my own life.
I can only walk the path set forth for Emry and I... and make the best decisions possible.