People Just as Crazy as Me

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Good Enough.


 


Evanescence has to be my favorite group.
I think it is safe to say it is because of the arrangements and lyrics written by Amy Lee.

I can always find something that resonates with me.

I've probably posted this video before.
But... I think I needed to reference it again.

I haven't felt good enough... in a while.
Good enough for anything.
Good enough to be where I am.
To have what I have...
To be achieving what I have achieved.

I feel ...
Guilt.
I feel ...
Pain 
I feel ...
Sorrow

And I shouldn't.
At least:
I can't seem to find a reason in my head why I should feel any of these things.


My heart feels heavy.
I feel like I am a prisoner to my routine.
I feel like Klay is just becoming part of my routine.

It hurts to write that.
If I expect him to just be there... am I respecting him?
am I cherishing what I have?

Or... have I just compartmentalized him into the day in and day out.

It's been almost 2 1/2 years. 
I know that it can't feel "special" forever.
Or can it?
 or should it?


We're buying a house.
We are becoming a "real" family.
 I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Stress.
I know the stress is getting to me.

I just wish he would see it.
I just wish we could just disappear together..
Just for a little while.
Just pretend like the stress and the routine didn't exist.


Is that so wrong?
That for an hour or two...
Pretend like we were the only two people on this earth?

I just want to feel Good Enough..
Just for a little while.



No comments:

Post a Comment