People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

When it's all crashing down around you

My strength is being tested this week.
The dark is most definitely trying to cloud my inner light.

What caused it?

My friend was fired... for absolutely no reason.
At will employment... STRIKES AGAIN.
It's very sad... and we are all supposed to move on, like nothing has transpired.

I had my 3 month review in my new position.
Glowing Review.
I rock, in case you didn't know that....
One written negative critique: My old boss, told my new boss that I have shown ATTITUDE to her and the new secretary.
Which isn't true.
At all.
They are rude to me, and go out of their way to basically make fun of the intensity in which I worked.
If I am asked a question.... They walk out of my office before I answer it.
Their projection... got a negative remark on my review.
And that doesn't sit well with me.


There's this weird stress in the air here...
It's toxic, and is taking up all the air....
At least that's how it seems to me.

I couldn't sit here this morning.
I just felt like I was going to explode.
I went to chapel service instead... 
We have weekly chapel service for the entire building... which was needed today.
I sand my little butt off...
I almost cried.
The release of the stress...
The release of the darkness...
Was a bit overwhelming.

Not that I had a religious experience or anything.
I just had...
a break from it all.

How do I keep it with me?
The feeling I had almost a half hour ago.
The release?
The light?

Where can I harness that?

It's not like I can go into the bathroom and scream at the top of my lungs...
People might look at me funny.
More funny then they already do.

It's one step at a time.
One breath at a time.

Remember what's important.
Work towards the goal.
Don't let the drama overshadow what I am working for.
Keep to myself?
That never seems to work....
Can't stay quiet...
That may be perceived as me being "rude".

IT REALLY BUGS ME THAT I WAS SAID THAT I HAD AN ATTITUDE AND WAS RUDE.

Yes, I vent here.
A lot.
BUT THAT IS SO I DON'T DO IT AT WORK!
For crying out loud.

Unbelievable.
I am like Suzie Freaking Homemaker here...
I practically walk around like I'm on a bubble of pink glitter.

Because, on a whole... I am happy to be here.

Right now though...
I just want to make it to lunch... and then make it home...

This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.

I have got to trust... even though the way may seem dark.
 

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