People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm not saying she's a gold digger....

But, she ain't messing with no broke N-----....

We've all heard the Kanye West song...
Don't lie... you know you have.

Let's discuss my father's new lady friend... the girlfriend.

They've been dating for about a month..
And the first couple of weeks I thought she was quirky...
And now...
I think oh, so much more.

I have now nicknamed her the "Tarantula".. Why?
Because she grabs on to her victims, and sucks them fucking dry.

Descriptive enough?
Good.

Need examples?
Sure, I am glad to provide them.

Do you know the honeymoon phase of any relationship, is sometimes inundated with cool dinner plans, movie dates... yada yada yada... maybe some flowers.... 

Well, my father hasn't dated in a long time, and is a very giving man as it is...

Since, this "woman" was coming with us to the Steampunk Faire (which dad bought her tickets too... they are not even close to cheap), he wanted her to feel comfortable, so he got her a pair of goggles and a beautiful coat (also, not cheap)...

We get to the event, around 2p... by 4p she has also figured out a way for him to purchase her a $100 sword.. A normal person, at least TRIES to object when their new S.O. offers to buy them an extravagant gift... this chick... no way.. not one objection uttered.

by 8p, there was a new bowler hat in the mix.... $60..... Are you keeping a running total?!?!?!?!

10p... a $300 jacket.
That she didn't EVEN wear.
That she tried to pawn off on me, when she accidentally told my friend Lissa and I she intended to "pay him back" (the woman who doesn't currently have a job.).... All of a sudden, she is saying how wonderful this coat would look on me... And how I should try it on...
"Sorry, I can't afford a $300 coat, I wouldn't even try it on..."
Those were the words I exactly told her.
Fucking
Shrew.

This was all the first night...
Not to mention...
She was fucking plastered the ENTIRE night.
How a 52 year old woman does that... is besides me...
 And, my father, was following suit... because... well...
He's got his 'Honeymooning Puppy Love Goggles On'....

This woman then had the GALL...
to mount my father...
YES I SAID THE WORD MOUNT...
Right in front of me, Klay, and Lissa...

I wonder how many languages I can say TRASH in...
Let's see:
ASBLIK
ZIBIL
ISPERTURAMO
BAURAHAN
CORBEILLE
PAPIERKORB
FATRA
BRUSCAR
CESTINARE
REIECTIS
BASURA
SBWRIEL


Yeah, this woman is a fucking piece of work...

Second day:
Since Klay, Lissa and I were kind of livid by our interaction from the previous day,
we felt the need to stay closer to my father... and help him watch his freaking wallet.
Which the chick didn't really like.
She would always find a reason to stop...
To get behind us...
To have to go back to the room...
Did I mention she was drunk by 10a?
Yup.
Once again..
PLASTERED.
At one point we told dad and her to lead... because we wanted to stay together as a FAMILY.
I swear, this woman turned around and gave me a DEATH GLARE...
It was so noticeable that Klay almost yelled at her.

We had tickets for this event back in DECEMBER...
My father has been looking forward to it since THEN....

This woman..
So..
Then...
she got "sick"...

Seriously.
I almost died...
She got "sick" right before the dinner we had to buy tickets for...
The dinner was about $50/person...
And she wasn't doing the "Oh no.. go on without me..."
She was trying to get him alone...
Again...
We all shared a suite as well...
So, it was kind of... REALLY trashy as well...

But, when she realized that we were either EATING AS A FAMILY AS INTENDED...
or not going at all...
She was magically better...
INSTANTLY.

It was a bloody miracle.

She was still saying really inappropriate things in earshot of all of us...
I'm sorry, it's my fucking father, I do not want to know what you plan to DO to him.
THE THOUGHT IS NOT ONE I WOULD LIKE IN MY CRANIUM...

HAVE SOME FUCKING BRAINS YOU DUMB DUMB WOMAN.


We continued our evening.
I almost lost my temper.
I had to take a walk....
once
or twice....

He had no money to buy himself anything cool.
But, she got a bunch of stuff, she will most likely never wear again...
Also: she has given me SEVERAL items of clothing already...
"A friend bought me this, I never really liked it..."
I have the scary feeling that she will do this with the approximately $700 worth of stuff my father bought her.

And that makes me VERY VERY ANGRY.

I want my dad to be happy.
I want him to find someone to love him...
FOR HIM... Not his overly KIND heart....

So...
That's the tale of the TARANTULA...

Thoughts?
Do you have a parent in the "dating scene"...
How do you protect them, without coming across as...
well....
trying to be overbearing?
 

3 comments:

  1. geez, she sounds like a damn winner... This sounds just like my uncle Terry and his new girlfriend. He bought her new appliance for her house just lately and she doesn't even have a job. I don't know what to do with these women other than to let the man think his way out. I'm not sure, I just know it's so hard to watch. I couldn't imagine it being my dad.

    If it was me, I'd give her a piece of my mind in while I pull her aside, just me and her.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ....but ill say it! gold digger. ;) haha kidding, sorta.

    ReplyDelete