People Just as Crazy as Me

Monday, June 17, 2013

Realtionship Guru... wait... me?

The new girl, Gia, has been really...
Well.. 
She's been telling me really personal stuff about her relationship, 
and asking my input.

I am not used to this.

In the past (pre-Klay), I did not have very stable relationships.

I wasn't very stable before I had my son!

But, I digress..
This girl, who is a few years younger than I am, has been asking me some real "Dear Abby" type things.

And, everything she tells me, all it sounds like is immature BS.
From both sides.

Lots of he said.. so I'll do..
and she did, so I'll do...

There is a kid in this mix... 
I don't know how things like this occur.

But, then, I get this tid bit of information.

We were dating for 8 months when I got pregnant.
He wanted a baby, and I really didn't.

I got married to my ex, when we knew each other for 8 months...
I couldn't imagine having a baby at that time frame.

Which leads me into this thought process....
It takes too to make a baby...
If you didn't want one...
Why did you
A) Not get on the pill
B) Let him touch you without a condom
C) not make sure you and he were on the same page?

It just seems like she wasn't tricked into anything.
That she just succumbed... and let it happen.

She loves her son, and she is a good mother (from what I can tell).
But, this relationship seems off.

If they fight, it's an epic battle.
There is a silent treatment...
And nasty words said.

She spoke with separating...
And he threatened to take her to court, and take their son away from her.

We ALL know that is NOT how that works...

But, 
"His family KNOWS people."

Excuse me?
Do you really THINK that's how this works?


So, 
I told her:

You have one option:
Get your shit together.
Find out what your rights are.

Have a game plan.

The example I gave her:
You have a fire safety plan at home? Yeah? How is this any different?

But, to be proactive, because you can't say you just didn't try to change things.

This way, if you give it the old college try, and it doesn't take... You know what you are going to do.
There will be no time for idle threats, it will just be done.

But, if you do make a change, and things get better, at least you were prepared.


But, I find myself allowing my light to drain...into her dark.

I identify with this too much.

There were things she would say, and I would see (in my mind) things that happened between my ex and I. As I give her my input, I feel my light begin to drain.

This is a feeling I do not like.
I suppose, in some ways, I have not fully gotten over things of the past.

Yet, I would not say that I wear them, either.

So, I think, if I am going to give any more input...
I need to figure out a way to disassociate what I am hearing...and be totally objective.

Also:
If Gia, keeps coming to me with the same drama, I need to give less and less of a response.

You are responsible for that in which you allow.



I am by no means, a relationship guru...
I just, for once (and finally so), have a balanced normal relationship.
And an overall happy life.

I don't want to become one...
But, I also don't want to be rude... when someone is in need of help.

Finding the balance...
In all areas of life.




2 comments:

  1. You are one smart cookie you know that? Just sayin :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like you're giving excellent advice to Gia - and to yourself. Don't let her drama bring you down.

    ReplyDelete