People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Weightloss Hurdle: "Haters are gonna Hate"

I've been dancing around this post for a week or so...
I haven't been able to really delve into it...
I'm afraid where it would take my emotional state...

Let's start at the beginning:

A week or so ago, we had a farewell luncheon, and it turned out to be a Pizza & Ice cream party (I know, what are we 6?).
Now, we all know that during the week, is when I am my most motivated..
I have structured meals..
And it's much easier to keep pushing towards my goal...

Pizza and Ice cream usually do not fit into that scenario.
Hell, they never fit in.

But, it was a farewell luncheon... and I didn't want to be the only one eating not the menu.
Somehow, in my mind, it would have been disrespectful.... 

So anyway,
I was truly blessed when I saw a BIG BOWL OF SALAD... I was really over the moon about it.
And there was veggie pizza...

So, 1 slice of pizza and the biggest helping of salad that I could manage on a plate. 
Light italian dressing drizzled ontop...

Doesn't sound awful right?

I sat with Karissa and the new girl, Gia. We were joined by the entire Human Resources Department.
(Note: even though all of HR knows me by name, and we are social, they do not know me or my eating habits.)

Karissa (who has these very jealous moments) comments that she hasn't seen me eat "real" food in a long time. 
Then Gia, who honestly is an easily led soul, fed off of that, and tried to keep on the "joke".
 And made the comment, that I eat "like 2 grapes, and 2 pieces of broccoli."
And they laughed and laughed and laughed.

Meanwhile, the HR department is looking at me like I am crash dieting.
I kept saying things, calmly, because we were at a function, that they knew that wasn't the case, and not to say that. That I actually eat, and that it isn't funny to say I don't.

But, when I ate the pizza, with a knife and fork (because all the veggies had weighed it down, and made it impossible to pick up), they started in on me again.

I felt my tension growing..
I didn't let it show...
Not worth it in my book.

Then, it was ice cream time.
Usually my building carries the Skinny Cow ice creams, or Frozen Greek Yogurt bars..
Not that day... and I really didn't want to slam an entire ice cream sandwich into my body...
Just because everyone else was.
So I passed.

They started in on me again.

And then Gia offered to cut her ice cream sandwich in half, because she didn't want the whole thing.
So, I rationalized that... it wasn't so bad to eat half... and if she wasn't eating the whole thing anyway...
Why not.
TRAP TRAP TRAP
Why didn't I see it coming?

She cuts it in half, and asks me if I want the "smaller" half...
It was perfectly cut down the middle, so I told her to pick whatever one she wanted.
"Do you want me to measure it, so you get the smaller one?"
HR looking at me like I am nuts...
AGAIN
I told her no.. and almost felt like shoving the entire ice cream sandwich (BOTH FUCKING HALVES) in her face.
But, I didn't.
I picked the piece closer to me, and then ate it.
Karissa started in...

I swear, I was really kind of embarassed.
I was REALLY angry.

I didn't let it show.

Luncheon ended.
We went back to work...

And I have stewed on it ever since...
It came to a boil this morning.

There are donuts in the break room.
(It needs to be said that there is always SOMETHING in the break room.)

Gia is eating one, I ask if there are a lot of donuts in there...
"Yeah, you want one?"
I tell her no, and she kind of laughs.. but doesn't add to why she thinks what I said is funny.


What I have came to understand, and firmly grasp today... and since that scenario...

HATERS
ARE
GOING
TO
HATE

Now, Karissa is an good acquaintance.. and on certain days we are friends...
But, I know it really bugs her that I have lost so much weight...
and she won't commit to anything enough to even lose a little.
This isn't an assumption.
I know this.

Gia, is one who is easily led. I can tell she is a sweet person.. But, also, she has body image issues (she's admitted them freely) and she can't get on track either (also admitted freely).

People who won't take control of their own lives.. their own health...
Tend to get upset with those of us who do.. and succeed... and who aren't easily led astray.

But, where is my fault in this.
It does take two to tango.

Perhaps I could be more discreet about logging my calories into my app.
Perhaps, I couldn't be such a pita, when they want to take the elevator, and I want to take the stairs. Taking an elevator ride isn't the worst... I can always do double the stairs when they aren't around.

Perhaps those are some answers...

I should only really discuss my journey to people who understand and support me.
They will never see my healthy lifestyle as a negative... and will never make jokes about it.


So:

Haters are gonna Hate...

And I am 2 lbs away from my goal.

How about THEM apples?



4 comments:

  1. Go you! I for one am very proud of you!

    I do have one thing to say though: Don't not do what you want to make your lifestyle healthier aka take the stairs. Who knows, maybe it will finally rub off on a fella observer and make a change for the better for someone else. Just a thought :)

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  2. I am so glad that you realized that it's their issue, not yours. If you want to give in and be part of the crew, go for it, but because you want to, not because they make you feel bad.


    What you do has little bearing on their lives, live yours

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  3. Good for you! There is always going to be haters and people who try to drag you down. Keep your head up and don't let them steal your joy....also congrats on being so close to your goal

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  4. OMG! You have explained exactly what I am going through. My sister does that to me all the time. Ok my sister is a big gal and since I have lost weight and am still choosey about how much I eat and what I eat she hates it. She picks at it and picks at it! She calls me a skeleton and says I am anorexic when I am 5'5 and weigh 125. My BMI is perfect. I am not underweight at all. Far from it! She gives me shit for it all the time and it hurts my feelings when she tries to pick on me by pointing out the fact that my collar bones stick out. She always brings it to everyones attention. Shes coming out this summer and if she starts in I am going to have to break it down for her. It's just like me telling her she needs to lose weight. People don't like that and it hurts their feelings. Same as if you tell a thin person they are too thin or are losing too much weight for their liking. I completely relate to this post and I adore you for it!

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