People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Pushing Forward

Last night, was kind of a rough night.
It just wasn't a good night in our home...

And, I'm not sure exactly why.

We are going up to my sister's tonight.. for the 4 day weekend.

We had to pack and get supplies last night, so that when we get back from karate tonight, all we have to do is eat dinner, and get on the road.

Why are we leaving tonight?
To beat 4th of July traffic and 4th of July Excited State Troopers.

Anyway,

So Klay and I waited for my dad to get home, so that we could run out to the store and get the provisions needed for our mini-vacation at Casa de La SEESTER!

And he was in a weird mood from the start.
First we stopped at the wine store, and he wanted nothing to do with walking around and looking at wine. We knew we were getting one bottle of Ice Wine (it's my sister's favvy), but Klay likes red, so I wanted to find something that I thought he would really like...

He was 2 steps behind me the entire time.


Then we had to go to Glamorous WAL*MART... yeah, you know, cheap supplies for hiking... come from the Wal*Mart... 
And he was kind of into looking for granola bars, and snacks... 
But, still, he wouldn't walk with me.. and honestly, we've been having very little conversation.. It's like a chore to get us going...

I suppose we are tired...
But, I guess we are in a rut.

We get home, I get Emry into bath and bed...
And then I proceed to start packing.
I asked Klay to lay out his stuff to pack... 
And, he did... 
So...
I began doing to rest of Emry and I's stuff...
Klay is on the couch.
Watching TV.
I'm running around the house..
Searching for things...
Grabbing Things...
Packing...

At one point, I realize that I see no Pajamas in Klay's pile of clothes.
I ask him if he was bringing any...
And he says,
"I have more stuff I have to pack.."

I pause...
He's on the couch.
WATCHING TV..
I'm running around the house..
LIKE A CHICKEN WITH MY HEAD CUT OFF....
 
I told him I needed him to finish packing.. 
Because we wouldn't have time tomorrow...
And I didn't want to rush...

He got attitudey... (more on his side of this later)...
But, he did it..

I finished packing the clothes..
(Even now, I really want to change what I packed... Most of my clothes are super big now... so, packing was pretty difficult, but, with temperatures going to be in the 90's... I need some shorts and T's.)

It was impossible to pack the vitamins and the toilettries.. and everything else we have to pack (because of Emry's eczema)... So, I made a detailed list, and I will have to do that, as soon as I breach the door after karate.

I asked Klay about dinner for tomorrow...
So we could get and go..
His response, which I assume was very innocent was, "Isn't there anything you can defrost and make tomorrow night?" 
Dude.. seriously? By time we get home from Karate it's going to be 6:30p.. and you think I am going to have time to prepare a meal? Jeez. 
I told him a flat "no."
So... we're going to get pizza...
He's going to pick it up on his way home from work.
(As a side note: he will be in by 6p, whereas we will just be leaving karate at that point... Do we see my point.. I need a little help here to make this fly).

It's about 9p at this point.
But, I am not done...
I have to make my lunch, Emry's breakfast (he eats at camp), lunch and post-karate snack for the next day.
Once again...
Klay is sitting on the couch.. watching TV..

I just kind of roll my eyes...
And do what I have to do...

I am frustrated by this point.
Utterly frustrated, and tired, and sore.

I finish that...
And I had to take a shower.
I had to...
Well..

I had to shave my legs for the first time in FOREVER...
Wearing a bathing suit kind of dictates the necessity of shaving.
Also: well.. you know... grooming is important.

By time I got out of the shower, and dried my hair (I knew bedtime was coming up soon, so going to bed in the humidity.. with wet hair... not an option.) it was about 9:45p.

I grabbed a glass of water..
and I sat down on the couch...
Just needed to relax before going to bed... is that weird?

I had a face.
I know I did.
I don't deny I had a face.

He looks at me
"what's wrong?"

I told him nothing.
I tried to avoid this conversation.. or the lack of it...

He asked a couple more times...

Finally, 
because he can't realize that I am trying NOT to get into something..

"I'm tired, and in pain... and instead of being helpful, you cop an attitude with me."

He instantly got on the defensive.
He always just jumps right to the defensive...
I jump to the offensive... but, honestly, I was too tired to even be there.. so I just said it as plainly as I could.

He kind of flew off, and said that "I do this" and I "accuse him of these passive aggressive displays of attitude." 

I told him I didn't say that... but, it was too late...
He was already out of the room.

He didn't come back.
I heard him in the kitchen.
10 feet away.
I'm sitting on the couch, and I'm like... literally, Fuck this...
I didn't want to watch what was on...
I went right in the kitchen, to wash out my cup.
And he's standing right in front of the sink.
I ask him to move, in a polilte way...
And I went to bed.
I turned on HGTV...
And I drifted off.

He came in soon after.
Not sure how soon..
but, a different show was on...
So... we'll say under an hour...
I figured he was coming to bed... so I turned off the TV...
Blew out the Candle in the bedroom...
Rolled over, and started to drift back to sleep.

He just sat on the bed.
He didn't move.
This disturbed my sleep pattern.
I could feel his eyes on me.

I rolled over...
"Are you coming to bed?"

"No."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I came to apologize..."

Now this seems legit and genuine..
But, I am really fucking tired... and I wasn't in the mood.
At all.

"Don't worry about it.. Either come to bed, or go inside.. I'm exhausted."

He nodded and went back inside.

I know, I could have just said, "I forgive you. No big deal." and hug it out.
But..
I didn't feel like it.
I just didn't feel like it.

We've been weird.
I said it..
It's just conversations are at a halt.
If nothing happens in our day at work that stresses us out...
We don't speak.

And there is something wrong with that.

I love him
to death...

But,
I really need some more verbal interaction.

But, I guess right now...
While we are in this rut..

I'll just keep Pushing Forward....

1 comment:

  1. You are lucky the temp is only going to be in the 90s over here it has been 115!!!!!!!!!!! YIKES!I hope things get better for you on your trip and you guys have fun *hugs*

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