Two days from now, the NYRF (New York Renaissance Faire) begins.
8 weeks of dressing up in garb, walking around, interacting with my "summer people" and watching interesting (and funny shows).
This year, is the first year I will not feel self conscious in my garb (read: costume).
Usually, I have my father or Klay lace my corsets up as tight as it can go... or until I can BARELY breathe. All in the name of making my waistline look as small as physically possible. Because, my body (in my mind), was something to be hidden.
I know that mindset is wrong... I know that I had a warped sense of thinking... But, being a woman, it's a normal problem. I can admit my lack of self-esteem, and I have grown.
This year, I know I have put in the work to feel confident in my skin.
The corsets will still be laced as tight as they can go... but for a different reason this year...
They will be tied with grommets close together, because otherwise.. They will fall off.
(And I'm not that kind of girl, wanting to give anyone a show.)
I will be able to wear the mini corsets that I have ogled for the past 6 years.
I will walk with my head held high... as it should have been for years prior.
I will not feel funny eating the amazing delicacies that is offered...
I will most certainly have a GIANT turkey leg...
I will not feel weird trying on NEW outfits... Or taking full framed pictures.
This is really what I have been working so hard for...
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning... and stared...
I see... nothing wrong.... with the way I look.
Now let me clarify...
I have stretch marks on my sides from when I had my pregnant belly.
I have cellulite (however, far less) on my upper thighs and... my butt still has a dimple on it...
I still have the scars from past abuse, and from teenage pimples... Chicken pox...
That doesn't matter to me.
I see NOTHING wrong with it... I think my body looks BEAUTIFUL.
I know I am beautiful.
And to me.. that's such an amazing improvement.
The next 8 weekends are going to be great.
I can feel it.