People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Obviously I am DEAD inside. (A post about faith and belief) 

The following quote is on my office door, it has an array of pictures from the beginning of this summer. In my mind, it shows what gives my life meaning... the parts of my novel.

I have said it quite a few times, I work for a Non-for Profit Christian Organization. I am proud to work where I do, and I love it... most of the time. 

Everyones faith is different... Everyones belief system on The Almighty is different. It does NOT mean it is wrong. Let me start with that.

I came back from my break, and I notice one of the.... Ministers.... reading my door, and looking at the pictures... Now, I try very hard not to get into a conversation with this certain man... He is very preachy, and is a little more closed minded, than I think a minister should be. But, that's my opinion.

"Hello, Sir. Are you looking at my pictures?"

This started a conversation about how there was no mention of God or his POWER in the quote that I had chosen for my collage... on my office door. 

I disagree. I think that even though the words GOD and POWER are not used here.. you can see the spirituality in the words. That God (or whatever being you believe in) has given each of us our own journey... or own book... And that, even though he has a plan, this book is our own....

He didn't like that. 

He began to preach.
I began to pray in my head "Please don't lose your temper, Kat, Please stay poised and quiet... NOD  A LOT."

And this is basically what he told me:

3 things happened to man (I hope we means woman too) when we accepted SIN in the garden.
A)  Our sight was darkened
B) Our minds became closed
C) And we died a little on the inside

(Now, I am paraphrasing.. he had much more culty spiritual words for me.)

In my head, I am thinking... "Are you really calling me a closed minded, sightless, heathen? Who is DEAD on the inside?"

Now... he continued, all of these things would remain in our lives until we sought Salvation, and HIS word... 

Once again, Dude, you don't know me, you don't know my faith, or my beliefs... are you REALLY saying this to me? I know that for some, these conversations wouldn't happen in the work place, and are kind of illegal... but, where I work, since it's a church (of sorts)... This is fair game. 

I smiled... I nodded... I was (and still am) insulted and embarrassed. For HIM... I couldn't really tell him exactly how I felt.. so I thought EUREKA.. blog post. 

Now, Let me first explain why I couldn't voice my opinion in this conversation.
I would be sent home, and asked NEVER to return... You don't speak a word against the ministers... it ends badly... You smile, You nod... That's it.

Now for my opinion:

I see light (or spirituality) in all things around me. Just like, I see the dark.... 
I see "God" in all the good things I have achieved, and all the things I am working towards.

I just don't speak it in a way that is "spiritually relevant" to others.

I hear it in a song.
I hear it in the wind...
I see it in a small child's smile...
I see it in the night
I see it everywhere....

Like green eggs and ham.. On a train, in a plane... etc. etc.

My faith, is... honestly, it's unconventional. 
I believe in a higher power.. but, I do not believe necessarily in what most Churches and religions believe. I believe it is all about love, and moderation, and belief. I do not think God (or whatever you want to call it) believes in punishment, or pain, or exiling people. I don't believe that because it's different from me, that it wasn't made by WHATEVER is above us. I believe that my God created tattoo artists and gave them that gift.... I believe that God is okay with Gay people... Because it's all about love. 

I believe that God created hard core rock and roll music... WHY? Because sometimes that kind of pain needs to be screamed out, and someone NEEDS to hear it that way....

I also think God made the traditional views of religion.. I believe that the bible is a very useful tool... but not the ONLY tool. I believe that a sermon, by a minister or by a bum on the street.. may hold insights that you need to hear. 

I do not think I am dead inside.
I do not think that I am closed minded in my spirituality....
And I really don't think that my eyes are darkened (and I think that means closed to God).

I think that I love in my own way. I believe in my own way... and that God respects that.

I believe that you can see His words in DISNEY MOVIE SONGS... and even Marilyn Manson's music.

I am opened to seeing, hearing, feeling God.. from EVERYWHERE... not just what's right in front of me. 

And that might not be his belief, or yours, or anyone who reads this... But, it is mine. ... 
I will not judge others beliefs, or the way they believe... Because I would never want them to judge me or mine.

And that's what I think true Spirituality is. 

There is my BRILLIANT post today.
Please, feel free, to comment, ANY WAY you choose.
All opinions are relevant and important... and none of them are wrong.

Be well friends.

1 comment:

  1. It's sad to me. For people like this man, who are "leaders" in the church, they can really scare away people who may have their hearts softened to God. It's a bummer. You're so patient and kind :)