People Just as Crazy as Me

Monday, August 19, 2013

Two Tales about Cats... One literal, One Figurative

My friend is going through somethings, some life changes.
Her cat is no longer.... taking to her lifestlye... He needed some love.
We wanted another cat (read: I wanted another cat), so we decided to take him in...

Friday was his first night, and by the end of Saturday it was apparent that this MIGHT not work out.... Our cat Bryce, had scared our new edition, Nox, so much, that the poor thing was hiding in the back of a closet... Not eating, and from what we could tell not pooping... 

Sunday's faire outing was cancelled, so that we could integrate the cats, and to watch their behavior... 
And OH BOY, did it take all day.. There was hissing, and clawing, and chasing one into the closet... that we finally ALL (Emry, Klay and I) sat in a room with them, and tried to show them that THEY WEREN'T EACH OTHERS ENEMY... no one was being replaced... and that this had to work...

That was all well and good.. until Nox decided to hide upstairs under the couch. *Slaps Forehead*

I had called my friend, to let her know that this may not work. That we were concerned Nox could get sick, if he didn't eat or poop... and that maybe she should come over later on, and we talk about it... 

7p comes around.........No Friend..........Some excuse text came in of WHY she couldn't come over... Very cryptic... Can't say we didn't expect it. Can't say why... but we knew she wouldn't come over... That this was totally on us to figure out. 

And, if it comes to it.. We will have to give him away... It's not his fault that he is being bullied by our cat... and Our cat isn't too blame, because honestly... he's an only pet... I just hope by time I get home... I at least see our new cat roaming the house... or some indication that he has been out and about today.........

He's a cutie pie.. a Manx.... so he has the most adorable Duck Tale Butt... Look up manx cats... and check out the tale... I'd show you a pic.. but, I don't have any that would really show you have DONALD LIKE his tale is.

Now... for the Figurative Feline Story.... FIGHTING SISTERS.

My sister has always been kind of docile... for reasons of her own, and a past that is her to share with the world... I've told you about my mother, so you know how "interesting" our home life was... 
Little by little, my sister is coming into her own... and she's, forgive me for being crass, GROWING A PAIR.... She just doesn't know how to use them.

She's a little oblivious.
She has a huge heart...which she wears on her sleeve...
But, when she gets angry... oh mah goodness, watch out.... She says some crap that you would NEVER believe.

She places blame, goes too far... and well... knows how to really hurt ones feelings.

This happened on Saturday, when she said something interesting about my work out intensity... I let that one slide... I think it's an accomplishment what I can do with my body now... if she doesn't get it... than she doesn't get it.

She had earlier used me for a discount I receive for volunteering... Which I really felt uncomfortable doing, because.. these vendors make these things to survive... we are their income... I hate haggling... especially when you can see the person put their entire SOUL into a piece. But, I let that slide... 
I'm also thrifty and living on a budget, so I can see why she would want me to use my small discount.

THEN......what I couldn't let slide:
My sister has been bringing down this beautiful barn door table for our home.. it used to be our mother's... and my sister needed extra space... so she offered it to us. I never asked for it.. I never begged for it.. and I was fully comfortable with it taking it's time getting to us OR renting an U-haul to go get it. 
She was insistent, and it's made it down here in two trips... 
The second trip has been the issue...

First, I come to find out that my sister bullied the garage code out of my dad.. so she could put it in the garage... That's kind of a private code, and I am uncomfortable with her (and my dad) not asking Klay or I if we had an issue with that being given out. It's my sister, I don't have a problem, I would just like to be regarded... is that so wrong?

Then... while she is on her way (after faire) to deliver said base... we were still at faire btw...... She tells me that she intends on LETTING HERSELF IN THE HOUSE, using the bathroom, changing... yada yada yada... with no one being home, and that her and her family would eat picnic style in the back yard. 
She didn't ask me... She TOLD me... That set me off.
I told her how we felt.. I would have liked to be asked, rather than told.. and that I wish she would have called, not texted this type of thing...
She flew off the freaking handle.

She made it seem like her bringing the table was DOING ME A FAVOR.. and that I was UNAPPRECIATIVE... and basically that my boundaries and feelings didn't matter. 

It wasn't ending... so I ended it... Told her I was done listening to her "temper tantrum"... and it was done.

The table was outside when we got home... she didn't put it in the garage... even though she could...

And then on Sunday she wrote me a long email apologizing for her actions.. but it was obvious that she felt differently about our relationship than I did... What I read, and Klay read was "I love you more than you love me."

I was upset.. but I didn't jump on it... I have grown as a person, I knew I needed to think about it... That I needed a time of reflection. 

SO I used this mornings gym time to really immerse myself into thought on this, and I wrote her back a very straightforward, honest email.

Which elicited her calling me hysterical... I think we picked through it... and that we are fine.. But it did sound like she still wasn't taking blame for what happened, and that her assumption wasn't a problem. But, I let it slide.. I said what I had to say... and I can't make her hear me anymore than that.

Sisters are fun.
I love her to death.
We are not meant to be the same person...

So, I don't push my opinion.. because that would just make things worse.
I said my piece, I know she heard it... and we will move on... Hopefully.

The part that bothers me, are not her words... but how she did this.
It was very reminiscent of how my mother handled things... She would call and cry and tell you how much she loved you... how special and beautiful you are.. and how she never meant to make you feel ANY way... I kept having to mentally remind myself that she was my sister... not my mother, and that this is one of the few times we have fought... And that's a big deal....

How do you deal with your siblings when there is drama?

1 comment:

  1. I usually tell my siblings to fuck off lol. But really... I do. There are too many bitchy branches in my family tree