People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Here's the Skinny: Confessions from a Social Binge Eater - #1


 I thought it was time to create a series of posts, for when I want to talk about my weight loss, or at this point "weight maintenance".. along with the ups and downs that comes with it. 

 Today's focus is something I have been dealing with on the regular basis. 


Whether it be at home, going out to dinner with friends/family, cook outs, or work gatherings... There is a constant parade of food around me.

Last week, we had a farewell luncheon for a worker who was moving to A DIFFERENT AREA OF OUR BUILDING. So, I thought the word "farewell" and the "party" were.... more for self indulgence.

TODAY: the person who is taking her place.... we are having a "Welcome Coffee Break".... 
Now, you think, cookies, coffee, maybe donuts? That's what you think of when you think of Coffee break right.

At the present moment, for 20 people we have the following:

  • a crate of apples
  • two bags of grapes
  • two PARTY SIZED bags of chips
  • two PARTY SIZED cakes (carrot and red velvet I think)
  • DIPS
  • Party Tray of Cheese and crackers. 
  • Sodas
  • Cookies
  •  and LORD knows what else I didn't see.
The party is at 2p, which is roughly 2 hours after we get done with lunch. Who wants THAT MUCH STUFF right after lunch? And plus, we always have left overs.. because no one EATS that much.. and then it goes bad... How is that okay?

But, I think I am more hateful of these parties based on how my current weekends have been going.
I understand that you should be able to indulge every ONCE in a while.. but, every week... that's not every once in a while... that's a CONSTANT time frame.

And, with it beginning to overflow into work... I'm just... well, a little scared.

My resolve has been very low in this area. And when I fall off... I really fall off.
I'm hoping that I will be able to sip at a coffee or a tea during this... and just leave without eating anything. If I just walk away... like I used to.. It will all be okay.. Right?

I'm not sure though.

In an odd change of events, Gia, who used to pick at me for being so diligent to my healthy lifestyle, is now on board, and trying it for herself. She has lost about 5 pounds, and is trying really hard to change her ways.

Do I take credit for this? Of course not.. Everyone needs to make the realization themselves, and progress as they feel comfortable.

I am proud that she is trying. I tell her that every time she tells me how low she is feeling about it.
The Doritos in the "Coffee Break Party Area" are causing her problems RIGHT THIS MOMENT.

Which is kind of helpful to me, because I am having the SAME moment.
We all have to go to this party to welcome the new Officer....
But, some of us, other than Gia and I... are trying very hard not to indulge on those type of things.

I try to save my "snack" of the day, for night time... After dinner, and after my workout. This way..

Last night, I made pseudo Peach Cobbler.

I took a: Pop - Cinnamon POOF.
a small Peach Pie Seasoning
2 TSP of Greek Vanilla Yogurt.

I sliced up the peach and placed in on the Magic Pop, then sprinkled it with the seasoning. I placed in under the broiler for under a minute. Then placed the cold yogurt on top.
It was delicious...

It was only 84 calories.

A massive amount of food, for under 100 calories... AMAZING. I don't want to ruin that with a little piece of cake or a cookie for DOUBLE that content... you know?

Maybe I'm just being silly.

Maybe I am taking this too far.

I have almost burned off all the weight I gained this weekend.
I am still under my maximum goal weight.
I am still within a Healthy BMI...

What do you think? Should I accept free snacks when they are available? Do you think that I will over eat if I even have one thing? What are your triggers?

I think it's easier for me to be good at work, for SPITE... As I have referenced, a lot of the people here are expecting to see me fail, and just gain the weight back. Not like when I am at a cook out with friends or family.. These people are proud of me, and tell me that I am just going to work it off later. That even though I was really bad.. That they know it won't carry over until the next day.

I think that's why I am more comfortable to let me Healthy Barrier down, when I am with those people. I  think that's why I may allow for the Social Binge Eating Monster to emerge. Those people... love me. And see how hard I try, and think I need to be rewarded for it.

Where as here... It's not quite the same.
These co-workers and colleagues may respect me.. but, they don't have to be proud of me. They don't have to like my choices or my changes.

So, it makes me want to be STRONGER, when I am here.

I hope that makes sense.


  1. If work is the one who brought the apples and grapes I think it's a sign that they're trying to be mindful of what you're doing even if the rest of the office isn't.

    Doritos has a baked option which is pretty good as are the popcorn chips (I forget the brand, it's in a red bag.)

    Maybe you could bring your own treat to such things and then you could feel like you're participating and not social binge.

    I'd like to think that no one wants others to fail in their efforts even if they don't show the same support your friends and family do.

    1. The apples and grapes are a new addition to our parties, this is because the new BOSS is a health nut. They are giving him options.

      I made myself a cup of coffee, and I had wonderful conversation. I was very proud of myself. The coffee seemed to fill my stomach. I turned away Carrot and Red Velvet cake, I think we've discussed that those are my favorite!

      I'd love to think that too.
      But, unfortunately, there are some... who really are that way here.
      It is really sad. Especially when one of them waved the bowl of doritos in my face... and made it a joke that I wouldn't have one. Cheese doritos are not my fav.. Totally would have taken a cool Ranch.

      The only reason this person stopped, was when the head Kahuna, the fruit guy, said something to the effect that his "gym buddy" is stronger than a cheese chip. I work out a majority of my mornings with my bosses boss.... I suppose it comes with some perks!

  2. How possible would it be to just indulge a little? My newest law is that I'm sticking to portion sizes (that, and I've given up soda). How can I embrace life the way I want to, if I can't both play disc golf on a gorgeous fall morning *and* have a slice of red-velvet cake?

    I can't spend all day playing disc golf, and I also cannot eat red-velvet cake all day. Or once a day. So, I'll enjoy the portion to the fullest.