People Just as Crazy as Me

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Here's the Skinny: Confessions from a Social Binge Eater - #3

The big question in my world that I have been asked, are you maintaining?

Kind of? 

I lose weight during the week, and I gain it back on the weekend? 
I stay between 130 and 135 pounds?
Sometimes, if I am being particularly crazy in the gym, I can get down to 128...

So is that maintaining? I suppose so.
I am staying within a 5 pound range.
I am staying consistent with my weekday workouts.
During the week, I am eating super healthy.

The weekends are hard.
I can't shade that, or lie about it.
Food is everywhere, I love food, it loves me...
THUS, I tend to eat it.

Now, when I say, I love food... I know you are all thinking that you love food too, and we ALL must love food... 

But, this is kind of why I am a Social Binge Eater....

If, I allow myself to have a little of something tasty... it just... flips a switch.

I am working on figuring out how to have a stronger hold on that switch, or if duct tape will keep it in place longer... But, as of now, it's an easily flipped switch.

And this weekend, I really just said FUCK IT.

I have been agonizing over the weekends. Packing myself what I would eat at work... Making lunches for everyone.

Now, it saves us money if I pack food. So, I would do it regardless... But, not allowing myself to snack in our Volunteer Food tent... or sadly walking away from the Bakery that makes the warm apple pastry with Soft Serve and Caramel on the top... Wasn't helping.

It was actually making the binges WORSE.

Because I would go home... and devour the freaking house.

I said fuck it...
How bad could I be? 

Not that bad.

I didn't buy every sugary or oily thing in site.
I had two drinks... 
I had some chinese food for dinner.

It wasn't the worst thing that happened...
And I am not going to feel bad about it anymore.

Even with the 5 pound weight range.. I am still under the maximum weight for a healthy BMI.
There will be weeks and months that it will be easier for me to maintain a more consistent number, and there will be months like this.... Where I will have to lose, everything I have gained per weekend.

If this didn't happen.
I would get complacent.
I would trick myself into thinking that I shouldn't workout anymore.
I would get out of my rhythm.

SO, in essence, in some sick kind of way...
Eating like crud... is helping me.

Now, it's about balance.
I know I can't do it all the time.
I know that if I do it.. I need to get my ass back in the gym IMMEDIATELY.
That food is what got me HUGE...
And Food and Exercise is what TOOK IT AWAY.

That food is a part of life...
Come on, we need it to live.


Maintenance? Sort of.
Clarity? Completely.
What is the biggest hurdles you overcome during your Healthy Journey?

1 comment:

  1. The biggest hurdles for me is when I am on vacation. I lose track of how I run my diet when I am home. When I am at my families for weeks and weeks the pounds pack on. Sure I make sure that I buy what I normally eat when I am home BUT when it's dinner time and everyone is eating the good shit it is very VERY hard not to try some. I feel I am being rude if I turn my nose up. Which gets me in trouble because then I start getting in the routine of eating what everyone else is. My family does not eat healthy at all. I go out to see them twice out of the year so around summer and Christmas is when things go haywire! But like you I have come to the point where I say fuck it. I can always lose the extra pounds when I get home. Not a big deal. I still have that guilty feeling though. That I will never shake :/