People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother - "Ex Husbands Suck"

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother

(aka: The Life of a
Quasi-Single Mother)



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(DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. There are different strokes for different folks, and we all have different lives, goals, aspirations. What I write about in these posts is not meant to be the "only way", "the right way", "better than you". It's just my opinion, use it where you can. Comment or Criticize too, how else do we grow as people, if we don't listen to a little criticism?)
 
 
 
It has been a long time since I have done one of these installments... And after yesterday... I think it was time to throw one up into the mix. 
 
My ex-husband.. is... oh, come on, just type the words... He's a fucking moron.
 
My son on the other hand, is a gem.. a smart, forgiving, loving boy.... And as much as I know these are positive attributes... I really wish I could kick the forgiving and loving aspect RIGHT OUT OF HIM.
 
But, I won't. I love who my kid is. I wouldn't change him for the world. 

I haven't spoken much about my ex-husband... he hasn't been, a problem... He and Emry would talk every week... up until around July 4, 2013... And then..........Ex just stopped calling.

2 months and 6 days later I get a text. a freaking text, with a cryptic excuse of why he couldn't drop a note... why his work schedule was SO crazy. And that he wanted to call and apologize to Emry. 

I emailed him back.
I sited how WRONG it was.
How this is so HURTFUL to my son.
How inconsiderate... how detrimental...

But, because I am a good mother, and understanding woman.. and obviously a fucking saint, I would ask Emry. And get back to him.

Klay and I took Emry to dinner. This way the negative energy wouldn't be in our home... It wouldn't sit with him... It could stay at the Buffalo Wild Wings. 

Emry... is a Saint... a 6 year old version.. but, a Saint none the less. 
He decided that, no he did not want an apology from my Ex... that he doesn't want him to even call anymore. But, Emry would like to call HIM, whenever he wants to... as often as he wants to...

I thought that was a mature solution, from a small child. 
I explained, because I am that kind of mom, that there may be days that he calls Ex, and if Ex is working, he will not answer the phone, that we will have to leave a message.

"That's fine mama, he can then call me back, and leave me a message". What kid says that?

I was amazed.

I called back Ex... related this... Told him that this was an amazing reaction, to something that I would have just said, GO AWAY to. He agreed. 

And then I let him have it.
Because I have the right to.

The question I asked, and pushed: "Would you allow someone to do this to you? Would you allow someone to treat you this way?"

His first response was: "I am not doing this intentionally." 
 
I told him it didn't matter, and I asked him the question again.
 
He said "No."
 
"Than why do you do it to Emry?"
 
 
I followed with the fact that he is going to meet with me, and sign something.
That when he drops the ball again, because he will, that he will stay gone... 
That he will know longer hurt my son. 
That this is his last chance. 
 
I told him, and have always told him, "If you are not ready to be an adult, or to be a father, than just go away... grow up... get settled, and then call me."
I rather him make a legitimate effort, with him in a good place, then for him to continue to half ass this.
 
AND THIS.. IS HALF ASSING MY SON... Who does that to a child?
WHAT MAKES THIS OKAY?   

*Sighs*

It's one of those things that happens... 
And, I am done with it happening. 

This is his last chance.

I will not allow for him to hurt my son anymore.
Regardless of how forgiving my kid is.


What about you?
Want to share any of your family dirty laundry?
Any opinions? or Suggestion?

All are welcome

 
 
 

2 comments:

  1. You are a wonderful mama. But these situations are tough, I know. I do have to agree with you. I hate the half ass parenting, it's a waste of everyone's time and heart ache. If he does want to be there, then he just needs to be gone forever. I've always felt that way, probably because of how I felt with my own father. But Emry's a quick kid, he's catching on to what his father is doing. Be careful with that one lol.

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  2. I must say you are an amazing mom, and I totally agree with everything you said. No child should ever be made to feel like an option or an obligation. I say this partially because I can relate, as my own father treated me as an obligation through out my life, only making time for me, when it was convenient for him. Now I am 30 still don't have a relationship with my father (except when he wants one) and recently made the painful decision to write him a letter and dismiss him from my life. It is hard as a child know there is another part of you out there, yet somehow not feeling worthy of their love and attention... I agree no half assed parents should be allowed with 100 miles of their child because in the long run it is only hurting the child in a way that can never truly be fixed... Emry is an awesome kid for being able to pick up on this so young, and still being so forgiving obviously his momma is doing something VERY right! : )

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