People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, November 8, 2013

And baby makes 4...

No, I'm not pregnant... But, I guess I did kind of trick you up there. With that title... However!

I am babysitting my Goddaughter tonight, and the thought of having a baby in the house... is... overwhelming.

WHY? Well, I am done with just one... that's why. I never want another child, and thank the gods, neither does Klay. I know that I wouldn't be able to effectively parent two children. I know what my limitations are. And yeah, some of you out there will say that it's easy, and that it isn't as hard as I think it is...

But, also, we are not financially set up to have another kid.. PLUS, I really don't want to actually HAVE one. Pregnancy is great for some people, I read a fashion blog, and this woman has had the most WONDERFUL pregnancy... Mine, was, NOT wonderful... So there's that.

But, there is something about a baby that makes me melt, and even funnier, Klay too. I love babies, I love kids... I get all gooey around them... For instance, at karate, there is this little sister, Genevieve, who comes with her mother and watches her big brother. She is.. how do I explain the cuteness of this child? DISNEY created her.. I swear... She is... adorable.. and I rather talk to her, than some adults... 

But, she isn't mine, and I can have small doses of her.. so I am really good with that.
Same thing with my goddaughter, Brooke, I'll watch her here and there for the rest of my life, I know this, but, I will always be able to GIVE HER BACK. 

I think Emry is a little hesitant about having a baby in the house too.. He loves baby Brooke, however, he knows that he is expected to be a big boy, and helpful when she is around.. because she is SO fragile at this point. Brooke is a little over 2 months old... And I love her baby cheeks... *Sighs**

But then, the estrogen kicks in, and being a woman TAKES OVER... and I think... Would it be bad? *The voice in my head screams YES very loud* But, still, I ponder... I often wonder if my pregnancy was so... strained... because of the circumstances I was in. My ex didn't want me to have Emry... And by time I knew I was pregnant, not having him wasn't an option. (OBVIOUS AND NECESSARY DISCLAIMER: I am religious, and I do believe in abortion in appropriate instances... but I believe in birth control even more. Emry was... a miracle baby.. nothing we did could have prevented him.. I am certain of this.. My son saved my life.) Then, when I was actually in labor, my ex watched cartoons... on the TV in the hospital room... I was unsupported.. I was sad.... It wouldn't be that way now... I don't think it would be...

Klay and I have had the discussion about what would happen if we ever DID get pregnant. And, we both agree that we would do the right thing, and be the best parents as we could to both children. I needed to have this conversation with him, because, I never want to be afraid or sad about being pregnant.. ever again. Even though I don't want another baby... if I was pregnant.. I would be happy. You know? I would make it work... We would make it work...

But, babysitting Brooke.. all these thoughts have been spiraling through my head... 
Yes, having another baby would be hard.
Yes, it is not in our plan...

But...
Babies are blessings... 

And family is work... but worthy work... 

So, I am excited to squish my goddaughter, and I am prepared for the future, if it should ever occur... 

My nights plan? Since she's 2 months old and does NOTHING... Well:

Brooke is going to watch me cook dinner for next week, and watch me pack for the wedding we are going to on Sunday, and watch me eat dinner, and watch me do Day 5 of that ab challenge... Maybe watch some TV.. and hopefully, I can give her a sponge bath and get her to sleep. That's the plan. Really... 


Tell me, if you have kids, how do you feel about having another?

If you come from a relationship like mine (that one of the adults isn't the bio parent)... how do you feel about another kid?

If you have no kids... Do you think I'm nuts? Have I scared you even more about parenting?

Discuss!



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