People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, May 31, 2013

Unreasonable hour

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother

(aka: The Life of a
Quasi-Single Mother)



Image Detail


Since I am trying very hard to stay on top of chores, I went to sleep extraordinarily late last night.

With the holiday, Emry had to make up a Karate class, which means that we didn't step in the door until 6:30p. Dinner had to be made/eaten, and a bath was a necessity. 
After that was said and done with, we are looking at about 8p.

Then the fun began...
NOT...

Laundry to be done,
a box or two to be unpacked.

Tidying in the kitchen.
Tell me something, for the men-folk reading out there,
WHAT IS THE DEAL ABOUT NOT CLEANING UP AFTER YOURSELF IN THE FREAKING KITCHEN?
You take something out, you put it away... Right?
If something is empty... Clean out the container (if necessary) and throw it in the appropriate receptacle.... Is this rocket science...

And what burns my butt the most about the above thought.
We ran out of Jelly in the Refrigerator... My dad doesn't think to look in the pantry where there are 2 unopened jars... SO he leaves the empty... STICKY... jar right on the granite counters.
AHHHHHHHHHH!

And when I asked what we were doing with this.. THING...
He said: (and I am not joking)
"There is no whiteboard, so I couldn't write down that we needed Jelly, so I left it on the counter for you to see...."
Once AGAIN:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I swear I almost flew across the kitchen, dining room, and living room just to cold clock him.
MEN!!!!!!!!


I blinked a few bazillion times... and then stated we had Jelly.
Then he says we are out of mustard... which I produce within 10 seconds.
How about we look through our kitchen? Hmmm???????

So, then, I am cleaning the kitchen, because lord know that it is impossible for the men-folk to clean crumbs off a counter top! 

I was able to take a bath though. This was greatly needed and appreciated. I have been so stinking sore recently... That if I do not actually submerge myself in hot water, I fear that I will not be able to physically move the next day.

I got in the bath around 930p... 
It's a wonder I didn't just fall asleep in there.

There was still actual exercise to be done... I am trying to remain on the road to a healthy lifestyle. Regardless of how sore I am. 
So, while the bath was running, I did some situps... 

I convinced myself that I would have time in the morning to do a few extra things, so after the bath, I collapsed in front of the TV with Klay... who had been basically sitting there since we got home.
He's tired too...
But, I think I move and move and move until I drop...
Because I am not comfortable living in boxes...
People are different...
that has to be okay right now. 

So, all things considered, I guess living without the chore board is okay.. for now...

I am 3 pounds away from my goal weight... which is pretty spectacular..
And, we have a lot of nonsense to do this weekend, so I am certain it will be easy to shed it...
*fingers crossed*

I guess I should start working. 
I guess I should...

Until later... 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Keeping on task without a chore board.

I guess this could be an installation of:

Monologues of the Dating Divorcee Working Mother

(aka: The Life of a
Quasi-Single Mother)



Image Detail




I haven't done one of these in a long long time...

It is no news to anyone of my regular readers, that we have recently moved into a bigger home. 
It is also no news to any of you, how completely OCD I am.

Most chores are scheduled on a white board. 
It keeps me focused and motivated... however, due to our move... and the perfection that is my new kitchen...
I have not installed a new whiteboard.

I know.. SCANDALOUS.

It has put me in a very weird place. 
I would really like a chore board again... 
But, I am wondering if I can keep myself on task without it...
If my OCD knows no bounds than maybe I can function without it.

WAIT WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

It will be like testing a hypothesis.
It could be fun...

Not having a list, and seeing how many tasks fall by the wayside. 

It's not only the chores that are the problem...
It is picking through the remaining boxes in the house...
It's bringing it all together, and making this move look like home.

Check lists have primarily been a staple in my life.
It's not that I am inherently lazy... or overly forgetful (no more than the average mother)...
It's that I find that a list will motivate me.
It is very gratifying to cross something off a list...
It's even better to erase it off a whiteboard...

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Okay, I give myself until NEXT Friday (one week and one day) to function without a chore list or a chore board. If it is too stressful for me, I will hang one up... If it doesn't make that big of a difference... than I will not. Just as easy as that. Right?

What about you?
Do you have a chore list or a chore board?
What makes doing chores easier for you?

Until later my friends.
 



Wednesday, May 29, 2013

You know you're tired when....

your hair is a frizzy curly, wavy rats nest...
and you think, "Meh, a headband will cover it..."

You know you're tired when...
last night, you fell asleep on the couch, with a glass of hot tea in your lap...
(the tea was to relax you... not make you comatose... and no, I didn't spill a drop.)

You know you're tired when...
you wake up, do your morning routine... and then, forget it's a Wednesday and go back to bed...
(Ugh! Why can't Wednesday be the new Saturday?)

You know you're  you're tired when...
the stack of papers on your desk, only motivates you to place them in a drawer...
(Out of sight, Out of mind.)

You know you're tired when...
you look at the above thought, and notice that you've written "you're you're", and don't have the gumption to fix it...

You know you're tired when...
You go to the gym, get on the elliptical, and autopilot through a 15 minute uphill program...
(and then begin to hyperventilate as soon as you get off the dagnab machine.)

You know you're tired when...
finishing up at the gym, the bench you use for situps becomes VERY comfortable...

You know you're tired when...
The cold floor of the locker room, and the proximity of the bench to the lockers is optimal for a 10 minute nap...
(So, glad I get to work super early..)

You know you're tired when...
The thought of the Homer Simpson Glasses, with the eyes painted on them, is a feasible idea.

You know you're tired when...
You've dedicated a whole post to it...

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2h2iNRkXBW3BKyYnYYxznTh3doVhi-zqBZc7nrqO9sVwLVU3P
Exactly how I feel
Honestly, I think we are all really beat..
Last night, I unpacked my books (I have a lot of books... way to many...there are for worse things to be addicted too.) and then I folded some laundry. 
While this doesn't sound like a lot to do, I also made dinner, and did homework with Emry...
That in itself is worthy of 8 hours of sleep.

Emry isn't even rousing when I enter his room in the morning... usually he wakes up as I am picking out his clothes...Proof that he's exhausted too. 
It's not that he's been going to bed... super late... well, that's sort of a lie.
Last Friday - this Past Monday... He went to bed 2-3 hours later than normal...
But, that was a weekend/holiday... We are trying to get him back on track now...
Only 1 hour late last night.... 

Klay is tired too...
He's giving everything the grumpy face.
I am pretty sure I am too....

My father keeps asking me if I am okay...
because it is visually obvious of how tired I am... 
Meh... this too shall pass...

It has to, unless I want to live out of boxes for the rest of my life.

I could just throw out all of the remaining boxes...
hmmm....
Could be an option...
I honestly have no want to go through them....
Just drop them off at Goodwill or the Salvation Army...
I'm sure they can do something with all of it!
YES!

(I am 50% kidding on this... but the other 50% is trying really hard to convince me this is an OPTION.)

At least it's Wednesday...
Friday is around the corner.

Right?
 
 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The most painful weekend... ever

We closed on our house last Friday just before noon.
From there, we purchased house paint, and necessary painting accessories... 
We painted the necessary 4 rooms from 2p - 9p.

Saturday morning, we picked up our moving truck, around 9a, and then began the process of moving.
I had to do a second coat of paint in two of the rooms... 
Which slowed us down on the first day.
My sister, her husband, and her strapping 15 year old son, came down to help.
We worked through the day until roughly 8p. 

Woke up on Sunday, and did it all again.
9a - 10p

Monday morning, we woke up, returned our moving truck...
And began unpacking and sorting.
We then went food shopping and furniture shopping...
Add more unpacking, and laundry to that mix...
8a - 8p

The most fun part of our weekend was Monday night.
It was about 6p, and I was just about to my limit for unpacking...
And Emry asks me:
"Mama, will you play outside with me?"

We had been saying 'no, not now' all weekend...
But, I was tired, and I wanted to at least have a LITTLE fun...
So, we through a football around, and I discovered...
My 6-year old, who has never thrown a football... can make it spiral, and throw it to me.
PROUD MAMA RIGHT HERE.
(NY GIANTS here we come!)

We played catch for a little bit, and then saw a HUGE deer run through our backyard.

It was really special.

We made dinner, and put Emry to bed, then Klay and I made some tea.
We watched a really bad movie...
And enjoyed our new home.

It's all worth it...
Even though my muscles are screaming in pain still...
And my stomach feels like crud, due to all the yuck I ate this weekend...
It's all worth it.

So, I suppose it's the happy sort of PAIN.

Until later... 
 
 

We have moved

After six months of hardwork...
and 4 days of painting, packing, and unpacking...
We are in our new house...

I have a lot of work to do,
and catch up on..

So, be prepared for sporadic postings...

I may do one later about the move...
Stay with me folks!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Rustic Living!


We all know that I am just about to close on my new house (Friday, cannot get here any faster.)...

We have a lot of furniture, and I really just want this new house to reflect both Klay and I's rustic, hiking, simple style...

Enter from Stage Right Aunie Sauce!

I read her blog almost daily, and get great style advice, and inspirational reads!

Today:
Rustic Living is giving away a store credit.

I'm oober excited!

Check out the store!

~Love: KVS

Another bump.

I have tried to write a title, and a first sentence for this post for the last... HOUR.

I have so much to say...
and no motivation to say it...

Before we went to the Steampunk World's Fair, I had 5 pounds to reach my goal.
After...
I had... 9 pounds to lose.
And today...
Back at 7 pounds.

I am obsessing about this.
They say the last 10 are the hardest to lose.
I do not want any "tricks" that will take off this last 7 pounds temporarily..
I want to do the work..
and get there...
and keep it there....
Is that so freaking wrong?

With the stress of packing.
The stress of having to live a life, through packing...
and with moving coming up...
It has been very hard to curb all cravings.

Yesterday,
I submitted to cravings..
Didn't gain any weight...
But, certainly didn't move the scale in the other direction too much.

Dark Chocolate Covered Pomegranate Seeds - 1/8 cup (100 calories)
Oh my god, nectar of the freaking gods...
So tasty.

Dinner, we went out with Klay's family...
to a fancy schmancy Italian Restaurant...
(No nutritional info pdf for this place.)

I should have had the Grilled Swordfish with vegetables and ignored appetizers + dessert...
But.Noooooooooo... I didn't.

I had:
Seafood Fra Diavolo over Spaghetti: 3/4 portion (approx. 400 calories)
3 clams oreganato (approx. 120 calories)
6 pieces fried Calamari (approx. 400 calories)
Mixed Greens with Dressing (approx. 250 calories)
 1/2 of a flan (approx. 150 calories)
a Amaretto Mousse Martini (approx. 120 calories)

Grand total approximation of 1,440 calories.
(that is WAY more than my app tells me I am allowed to eat in a day...)

And that was just dinner...

I did eat healthy in the beginning of the day, and I did workout...
But, I was utterly disappointed in myself. 

Don't get me wrong..
It was a delicious dinner.
SO
TASTY.

I just couldn't help myself
AT
ALL

This journey is filled with potholes...
And I know that is normal...
I am trying not to get defeated on this journey...
It's a life style change.
I am doing it for life.

But,
until I hit my goal....
I feel this INSANE need to be overly disciplined.
I want to keep pushing myself,
challenging myself,
and keeping my drive WAY up....

Stress does that..
It brings you down...
and really pokes at your defensive walls.
 

How do you prevent it from taking over?
You get up..
And go back to work....
You get on the freaking elliptical.. that weight machine....
and you continue your regimen.
You pack yourself a healthy breakfast and lunch...
You tell yourself that you will NOT... repeat NOT, be bad again this week...
 And you go on about your merry way...

You remind yourself that, you will be packing, and moving things all week (and into the weekend)...
That these activities... these hard labors, will help you keep your metabolism high.
Making the idea of packing, almost... ALMOST fun...
No,
packing is never fun...
Why did I even try to lie to myself there?


That's all for now.
Until later....

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm not saying she's a gold digger....

But, she ain't messing with no broke N-----....

We've all heard the Kanye West song...
Don't lie... you know you have.

Let's discuss my father's new lady friend... the girlfriend.

They've been dating for about a month..
And the first couple of weeks I thought she was quirky...
And now...
I think oh, so much more.

I have now nicknamed her the "Tarantula".. Why?
Because she grabs on to her victims, and sucks them fucking dry.

Descriptive enough?
Good.

Need examples?
Sure, I am glad to provide them.

Do you know the honeymoon phase of any relationship, is sometimes inundated with cool dinner plans, movie dates... yada yada yada... maybe some flowers.... 

Well, my father hasn't dated in a long time, and is a very giving man as it is...

Since, this "woman" was coming with us to the Steampunk Faire (which dad bought her tickets too... they are not even close to cheap), he wanted her to feel comfortable, so he got her a pair of goggles and a beautiful coat (also, not cheap)...

We get to the event, around 2p... by 4p she has also figured out a way for him to purchase her a $100 sword.. A normal person, at least TRIES to object when their new S.O. offers to buy them an extravagant gift... this chick... no way.. not one objection uttered.

by 8p, there was a new bowler hat in the mix.... $60..... Are you keeping a running total?!?!?!?!

10p... a $300 jacket.
That she didn't EVEN wear.
That she tried to pawn off on me, when she accidentally told my friend Lissa and I she intended to "pay him back" (the woman who doesn't currently have a job.).... All of a sudden, she is saying how wonderful this coat would look on me... And how I should try it on...
"Sorry, I can't afford a $300 coat, I wouldn't even try it on..."
Those were the words I exactly told her.
Fucking
Shrew.

This was all the first night...
Not to mention...
She was fucking plastered the ENTIRE night.
How a 52 year old woman does that... is besides me...
 And, my father, was following suit... because... well...
He's got his 'Honeymooning Puppy Love Goggles On'....

This woman then had the GALL...
to mount my father...
YES I SAID THE WORD MOUNT...
Right in front of me, Klay, and Lissa...

I wonder how many languages I can say TRASH in...
Let's see:
ASBLIK
ZIBIL
ISPERTURAMO
BAURAHAN
CORBEILLE
PAPIERKORB
FATRA
BRUSCAR
CESTINARE
REIECTIS
BASURA
SBWRIEL


Yeah, this woman is a fucking piece of work...

Second day:
Since Klay, Lissa and I were kind of livid by our interaction from the previous day,
we felt the need to stay closer to my father... and help him watch his freaking wallet.
Which the chick didn't really like.
She would always find a reason to stop...
To get behind us...
To have to go back to the room...
Did I mention she was drunk by 10a?
Yup.
Once again..
PLASTERED.
At one point we told dad and her to lead... because we wanted to stay together as a FAMILY.
I swear, this woman turned around and gave me a DEATH GLARE...
It was so noticeable that Klay almost yelled at her.

We had tickets for this event back in DECEMBER...
My father has been looking forward to it since THEN....

This woman..
So..
Then...
she got "sick"...

Seriously.
I almost died...
She got "sick" right before the dinner we had to buy tickets for...
The dinner was about $50/person...
And she wasn't doing the "Oh no.. go on without me..."
She was trying to get him alone...
Again...
We all shared a suite as well...
So, it was kind of... REALLY trashy as well...

But, when she realized that we were either EATING AS A FAMILY AS INTENDED...
or not going at all...
She was magically better...
INSTANTLY.

It was a bloody miracle.

She was still saying really inappropriate things in earshot of all of us...
I'm sorry, it's my fucking father, I do not want to know what you plan to DO to him.
THE THOUGHT IS NOT ONE I WOULD LIKE IN MY CRANIUM...

HAVE SOME FUCKING BRAINS YOU DUMB DUMB WOMAN.


We continued our evening.
I almost lost my temper.
I had to take a walk....
once
or twice....

He had no money to buy himself anything cool.
But, she got a bunch of stuff, she will most likely never wear again...
Also: she has given me SEVERAL items of clothing already...
"A friend bought me this, I never really liked it..."
I have the scary feeling that she will do this with the approximately $700 worth of stuff my father bought her.

And that makes me VERY VERY ANGRY.

I want my dad to be happy.
I want him to find someone to love him...
FOR HIM... Not his overly KIND heart....

So...
That's the tale of the TARANTULA...

Thoughts?
Do you have a parent in the "dating scene"...
How do you protect them, without coming across as...
well....
trying to be overbearing?
 

Monday, May 20, 2013

Monday Morning Photo Prompt - "A quarter, an inch"


The Challenge:
Create something (a poem, a short story, whatever) based on the picture.

Found over at Bifocal Vision
"A Quarter, An Inch"

She stared down, her matted hair covering her face, at a single quarter in the park bird bath.
A deep inhale, as her stomach reminded her again that she hadn't eaten this week.
Or had she not eaten last week either.

It didn't much matter...
A quarter, wasn't going to buy her anything...


The bird bath wasn't even full...
That's why she had originally come here...
To wash her face.
Usually, the bird bath was full, and reasonably clean... 
This gave her the opportunity to feel human, if only for a moment.

Today, no such luck, the bath was dismally low, much like her stomach, 
and mildew was growing on the bottom.
But, the shiny quarter glistened on top of the water.

Very tempting.
If she wouldn't lose it, she could save it... 
And wait for another bit of change..
Maybe get a cup of coffee...
eventually.

But, her hand just wouldn't grab for it.
She was poor, homeless, and hungry... 
She wasn't desperate.

In the amount of time that she had been coming to this bird bath, 6 months now, there had never been any garbage, let alone money in it.
She looked around...
She was cautious, her life was now filled with Cautious Paranoia;
Living on the street will do that to you.

There was no one around..
It was very early... 
She needed to calm down.

The dirty bird bath bothered her more than the single silver coin.
This just won't do...

She walked over to the garbage can... looking... for something...
ANYTHING.
She picked slowly and carefully.. A-ha! A water bottle.
Still had a reasonable amount of water in it...
She opened it, smelling it questioningly.
Just water! 
Another miracle left behind, was an almost empty package of wet wipes, and some napkins that were hardly soiled.

She placed the quarter in her pocket, and began to clean the bird bath.
Once the mildew was gone, and the older water was replaced...
She looked at the work she had done.
She was proud.
But, with it being SO clean, she didn't have the heart to wash her disheveled face in it.
She shook her head, and began to walk away.

She stopped.
The minuscule weight of the quarter still in her pocket.
This won't do...

She turned around and placed the quarter back into the cleaned bird bath.
"This isn't for me," she thought.

And she walked away.
She'd come back tomorrow...
And wash her face then.
Somehow, that seemed justified...

The next day she returned.
Ready to wash her face.
And there stood an old man.
In his hand, the single quarter.

"Good Morning," he said to her cheerfully.

Her eyes darted back and forth, "err.... Good morning."

"I want to give you something."

Her insides were pounding with the intensity of her heart.
She was scared.

The man placed his hand in his pocket, and took out a credit card shaped object, and handed it to the girl.

She took it from him carefully, this was a hotel room key...
"I don't understand."

"You come here every morning, we see you... from our apartment," he said as he pointed across the street at an adjacent apartment building. "You come here, you wash your face, clean up the area, and leave. My wife, uh, she used to tell me, I should bring you a little something, even though we never had much. And, I honestly never paid it any mind. I mean, we barely had enough to feed ourselves."
The man drifted off for a moment.

The girl was even more uncomfortable, but kept looking at the apartment building.. perhaps hoping to see the man's wife.

"She died. Two days ago, she just didn't wake up. She had been sick for some time, we didn't have the money to pay for all her medicines... She didn't want to take them as it is... But, well, she told me, that I should bring you something, because perhaps a Quarter could provide you an inch of happiness...." The man was silently looking at the quarter, "So, that's what I did, I came down here yesterday, and I left you the quarter, just like she wanted... and you didn't take it."

The girl began to say something, but he cut her off, "And suddenly, I realized that a quarter wasn't enough... you took pride in this silly bird bath, you wanted it to be as beautiful as the area around it, I saw you... I want you to feel as beautiful, as you made this area look. The room is for the hotel up the block, it isn't much, but it's paid off for the weekend.... You could get cleaned up, and rest somewhere... It's not much, but a Quarter... An inch...." 

The man began to silently sob, and walk away.
He stopped, looked at his palm, still holding the quarter...
Walked back to the bird bath, and placed it in the middle...

He then proceeded to walk home.

The girl, stood silently, in shock of the event that just took place.

She turned...
and walked up the street, towards the hotel...

"A quarter... an inch...." she thought.

"An inch towards happy... is an inch in the right direction."

 


 

Steampunk World's Fair 2013 - Photo Post

This was the weekend we went to the

Steampunk World's Fair
(in Piscataway, NJ)

We had an amazing time...
Truly...
We did...

(When we weren't trying to release my father from the Tarantula he is dating. We'll leave that for another post...)

Let's begin shall we?

Klay and my friend Lissa

That's me... being silly.

Klay and I

Dad and the Tarantula

Lissa and I being silly.

What do you see Klay?

Professor Mark Donnelly

What do you hear Lissa?

He was cool looking... And eccentric

Steampunk Stand Up Bass... SO STINKING COOL

We went to Olive Garden dressed this way.

Except for Klay... He's a weirdo... Our waiter wasn't sure what to do with us.

Self portrait...

Are we standing on the ceiling? Nope... We are taking pictures looking up at a mirror!

People made COOL gadgets

<3 br="" man="" this="">

Another cool family of Steampunks!

His jacket had a spinal cord and his face was all skeletal

Drinking TEA! at a TEA PARTY!

Look at the baby carriage!!!

Self explanatory

World's Strongest Man!

My epic Steampunk Ring Master Outfit!

Playing a Steampunk Electric Bass

We are in love... just in case you didn't know
 That is our time....
In photo....

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Hope

When we are truly overwhelmed...
We have to hold onto HOPE...

Hope that....

The sun will rise again tomorrow....

that it can't rain forever...

Tears will dry...

Smiles will return...

Happiness is only a breath away....


I think right now, for me, and a lot of people I know (or stalk on blogger), that finding our "light" has becoming harder and harder...

Stress does that...
Life gets in the way....

The breaths do not come as quickly..
The happiness is felt few and far between...

But, 
We are all going to get there...
Each and every one of us...

Even though sometimes, personally, I feel like it's a short and fleeting moment.

Life is hard.
It is hard for everyone...
even the ones who project a "perfect" existence.

If life were meant to be easy...
there would be no famine, no war, no poverty...

We'd all be freaking millionaires who didn't have to do a darn thing.


My strength is kicking in as I type this:

HOLD ON FRIENDS...

KEEP PUSHING THROUGH THE STORM...

FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU KNOW YOU DESERVE....

STRIVE TOWARDS THE FINISH....

It may not be the time you wanted it to happen...
But, we are still going to cross that lien...

And then...

We are going to try like hell to keep moving forward.

Look Back...
Move Forward...

Everyday...
IF 
ONLY
FOR
ONE
STEP

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Realizing that I'm not the cool one....

I've always known it...
I'm the loner...
I'm the outcast...

I have always had a hard time making, and keeping friends...
In my house growing up, we weren't raised to have the best social skills.

As an adult, I am doing better. 
I have a handful of friends I see...on a quasi-regular basis...
And, I have all of you!
(right?)

Today, we had an "Employee Appreciation" luncheon....
I always feel a little panicky at these luncheons...
I'm never quite sure if I will be that person,
sitting alone, at a table with people who don't even know I exist.

Due to this fact,
I thought ahead...
I made plans with fellow work friends..
And we managed to all be able to sit together at the luncheon...

One hurdle down...

Next hurdle...
I don't hear out of my left ear..
I've had 80% hearing loss since I was a little girl.
You'd never know it...
It's one of those things that is an unseen (and pardon the pun, unheard) affliction.

When I sit at a table..
in a crowded room...
I can't even hear the person next to me...
At all...

I'm always the person saying:
"Huh? Whatcha say?"

People must think I'm rude...
I'm sitting inches from them, 
and don't hear them...
I must not care what they have to say...
These are things that go through my mind.

I was able to  fake it today....
I smiled and nodded through a lot of conversation.

I didn't really hear much of it...
And, because of that...
I didn't add much to conversation...
It's an awful cycle.

But, I got through it nonetheless...

Next hurdle cleared...

Karissa...
I've spoken about her a time or two...
She's a work "friend"... 
But, she is a very overwhelming personality.
She likes to be the center...
the life...
and if the focus isn't on her..
She gets a little ghetto about it.

I think she likes to talk big.. and make herself known...
due to lack of confidence in herself...
But, that's just my opinion...

At one point, she asked a question..
Which I actually heard...
So, I was able to answer it...

Which led to her not liking the answer..
and saying how it SHOULD be done (by her standards)...
The whole time, it sounded like she was reprimanding me...
People were staring.

I had to stop her, and say...
"You don't like it... The is right over there...I bet he would love to hear your opinion." 
And, then I shut down...

Put my face into my phone...
and updated my weightloss App...

She didn't like that...
But, I don't like being treated like that...

Thank God, my friend Lissa changed the subject.
Thank God.

Otherwise..
Looks could kill...

You know what I mean...

So now,
after a Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwich,
I am back at my desk..
"Working"....
(well, working on this post is a type of work... right?)

It just hits me that 
I will never be the cool one...
I will never know the exact right thing to say...
I will never be seen as that sparkling personality...
Just the weird one.
I'll always be the loner...

And, honestly...
I'm kind of good with that....
Too much drama comes with all that popularity...

Well,
at least that's what I'm going to say to myself. 


What about you?
What situations do you feel the most socially awkward in?
How do you get through it?

 



Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Looking Back

They say you should never look back.
I never quite know how to take that.

Looking back, and moving forward...
That can't be harmful...
Can it?

How can you see how far you have come, if you don't occasionally look back?

People have been asking me if I see a change in my body.
The truth is:
Kind of.

I notice that my love handles are smaller.
I notice that I don't feel as uncomfortable sitting in a pair of dress slacks.

I spend time looking at myself.
Even when I was chunkier.
Women do that... don't they?

Look at what they like...
What they don't like...

But, even with these little changes...
I am not really noticing it, the way people are letting on...

And then...
I looked at pictures from our trip to Disney...
(remember, just before New Years?)

And, I saw it.
I looked back...
And saw how far I have come.

Motivation kicks in.
Pride follows suit.

even with 7 lbs to go..
I know I will get there.

I feel great.
I know I look great.

So...
I guess it depends what we are talking about...
Looking back..
Can sometimes be a good thing.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Busy like a bee...

This week is technically a four day week for me...
There is a lot going on, and I have to take Friday off...

But, due to that... I have to pack a weeks worth of work into 3-4 days...

On top of that, next week, we will most likely close on the house...
SO:
I have to technically pack 2 weeks of work... into 3-4 days.

I hate to scramble...
I hate to feel like I am going so fast, that I may make an error.


Now, that, I have shared that.

Please understand if I have sporadic posts...
I will make it up when I can.


Much Love.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Chicken Salad Recipe... and Great News

So which do you want to read about first...
The chicken salad recipe?
Or the great news?

Oh, the great news?!
Really?
I couldn't have guessed!

Great news is:
We will be closing on our new house..
During the week of May 20th.
Still hammering out the date.
Can't wait.

This means we are, figuratively, 10 days from being in our new home.
This has certainly been a journey!


Moving on to the yummy section of this post:

Healthy - Low Cal - Parmaesan Basil Chicken Salad

INGREDIENTS:

2 cans (10 oz.) Chicken Breast
1 cup Plain Yogurt
1 cup Basil, Chopped
As much garlic cloves as you can stand (I'm using 4-5), Crushed
3 Stalks of Celery, Chopped
1/4 cup Parmaesan Cheese, Grated ***


Combine, Stir around, Refrigerate, Eat.

(*** - I recommend using a good brand of parmaesan. This way, the flavor will go a long way, with such a little amount of it. So, in conclusion, the stinkier the grating cheese the better.)

Nutritional Information:
1 serving = 1/2 cup

Calories: 172.5
Fat (g): 5.6
Carbs (g): 4.5
Protein (g): 25.4


I plan to put this on top of a green salad.
Should be super tasty!
Also, it could go on a pita, or a wrap... or just about anything.

I am contemplating heating it up as well....

That's what we will be eating for dinner, during the next work week.


This past week, we've been eating
Grilled Citrus Tofu Kabobs.

By we... I mean mostly me.
It was a great experiment...
But, the men folk, weren't too happy about it.

You marinate extra firm tofu in Orange Juice and Hot Sauce, for about 2 hours...
Then you skewer Mandarin Oranges, Snap Peas, and the Tofu.
Place on a grill pan, or a stove top grill...
Cook until firm.

I liked it.
My dad threw a bunch of soy sauce on it, and took it to work.

Klay...
Well....
He smiled and said no thank you.

So, this week, the healthy chicken salad is a peace offering...
I think I stepped over the healthy meal line by bringing Tofu into the house.

Hahaha.


What about you?
Do you cook meals in advance?
What do you look for when planning your weekly meals?

Thursday, May 9, 2013

The perfect mother...a gift for mother's worldwide!

 http://i.qkme.me/3r4d9y.jpg

There isn't one...
I'm sure we all know that by now...
But, does that stop some from trying like hell to portray that image?
No.. Trust me... It doesn't.

Whether it's via blog.. in person (shrieks)... or on the phone...
Mothers have always, in one way or another, tried to one up, or down talk each other.

And, quite frankly, It fucking sucks.
Yup. I dropped an F-bomb... So what?

I read a lot of mom blogs..
I know a lot of mothers...

You read, and hear some pretty messed up shit.
You can, also, if you are not thick skinned, lose a lot of sleep 
and a butt load of self-confidence 
over what other mothers say.

http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi1hYzljZTU5OGY3NDQyMGIz.png

With Mother's Day rapidly approaching, I was pondering with the best Mother's Day gift could be... 
WORLDWIDE.

Your children, and families will dote on you personally..
But, what can we do... For other mothers??????

I have an idea!
EUREKA!
We can join forces... and stop BASHING each other!

We can realize that we all are different!
And there are NONE... let me repeat that word
THERE ARE NONE AMONG US THAT ARE PERFECT.

Advice is one thing.
Down right bashing will be completely unacceptable and FLOG worthy.

I am tired of reading an article, and/or speaking around other parents 
who tell me I am wrong.

Last time I checked..
There was no freaking manual to parenting.
And 
Oh, also the last time I checked...
My son isn't the devil...
Can hold a normal conversation (even if sometimes he uses his "adult voice")...
Is intelligent and creative...
And to me... I think that's all that matters.

http://3citygirlsnyc.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/moms.png

So for Mother's Day...
Make it a point, you mothers out there, to stop Mom-Bashing in its tracks.

Our styles may differ, but I hope, our intentions are all the same:
To raise a child (or children) who will be happy, smart, and healthy.
Who do not bully..
Who do not judge others...
Who are helpful, and kind...
Funny, and Strong...
Beautiful and Handsome.. Just as much on the inside as the outside.




When Mama Is Angry

You run...
That should be a rule...

When Mama is Angry... You run away.
You stay off the radar...

Yesterday, after work...
I was angry.

And, I'm not sure why...
The day was long.
But, not copiously long.
The day was busy...
But, not enough to get me to where I was...

And, it didn't help that Emry was using is "Adult Voice".
Yup, my son has an "Adult Voice".
Confused?
Let me explain:
With Emry being the only child, there are times where he thinks he can talk to me the way an adult would.... an adult who has very little respect for me, and my intelligence.
He, unintentionally, sounds rude....
When he uses what I call the "Adult Voice", every time he responds to me...
It starts with the word "No."

I don't know about you other mothers out there...
But, for me, My 6 year old telling me I'm 10000% wrong about everything...
Really
Fricking
Gets
To
Me.


I lost my cool.
And, I told him that I was sick of his mouth... him speaking to me that way, and the he will always be the damn (yes, I said damn to my 6 year old) child in the house.
That he needs to stop speaking to me, like I am stupid...Because I freaking hate it.
And, it would not be tolerated anymore.

As, I said... I am about 98% positive that he doesn't mean to be rude or disrespectful...
But, I correct this a lot.
A FREAKING LOT.
And, since when my dad, Klay and I speak... 9 times out of 10 we are being sarcastic to each other...
So, it is my fault that when Emry tries to talk above his age, that he sounds like us.
I know it's my fault.

I was just so angry yesterday.
I was tired.
I was overwhelmed.

And, Mama makes mistakes.
All the time.

So, when Mama is angry...
Steer Clear...
For all of our safety.

*Sighs*

Hate having to apologize to my kid.
Hate losing my cool.
I know it's normal.
But, I just wish it didn't happen...