People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, June 28, 2013

Is snacking part of a healthy lifestyle?

I am a firm believer that you shouldn't deny yourself a snack...
every once in a while.

Let's face it, for all my lady readers, there is a specific time during the month, wear we crave the snacks more than most.
Not, that it's that time, right now... but, it's the truth.

I had a serving of Light Baked Potato Soup Last night...
And well...
A couple of hours later...
My body told me that it needed some nourishment.

But, I didn't want fruit... or veggies.. or even a little hummus.
What I wanted sat right next to me.

Emry was sitting chowing down on his individual sized Salsa cup.. with a handful of salsa.

Oh my...
Chips and Salsa?
It's hard to start once you stopped.

So, I tried to think about it in an extremely healthy way.
Perhaps a little OCD and Crazy... but healthy none the less.

I took a single serving of tortilla chips (12 chips = 150 calories).
In our fridge, there is Hot salsa.. and Jalapeno Jack Dip
(We did taco night recently.. it's just left over...)

So, I looked at the serving sizes and dallied it out. 6 chips with salsa 6 chips with cheese dip.

My snack of 12 chips, with 1.5 tbsp of Salsa and 1 tbsp of cheese dip came out to 183 calories.
And I was satisfied with it.
I didn't go nuts.
But, I would have if I didn't take the serving size.. and put the rest away.
I know my limits.

So.. It led me to think..
Where does snacking fit into a healthy lifestyle?

Does it?
Or am I just kidding myself?

I think that snacking is a part of life.
And, we have to distinguish where the cravings come from.

Some cravings come from our bodies needing extra calories...
1) Whether it be because of a light meal schedule during the day.
2) Or if you had a crazy workout that burned through your reserve.
3) We've had a very emotional day and just need something unhealthy.
4) Hormone driven, bratty madness from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.
5) etc. etc.

My thought process is:
If you have been eating healthy... and keep on top of your nutrition.
A snack... here or there... is not going to kill you.

I have hyperglycemia, keeping my glucose levels normal is very important.
If I don't.. well.. I can crash and pass out..
And no one wants to see that.
That's why, when people insinuate that I starve myself... I kind of laugh.
I couldn't starve myself.. if I wanted to...
I'd be unconscious in less than a day.
That's why it's very important to defend your lifestyle.

For instance, in my desk.. as I write there is:
* 9 mini bite size candy bars
* 3 protein bars
*a package of choclate raspberry hot chocolate
* a "sharing size" bag of Peanut M&M's.
* 1/3 of a container of Dark Chocolate Pomegranate Seeds
* Lime & Salt flavored single serving bags of popcorn

If I have a craving... no matter what it may be...
I am fully equipped to handle it.
And, it kills my co-workers..
Because, on the most part...
I never delve into it.
And if I do... it's usually a little scoop of the pomegranate seeds...
Everything else is there... well, in case of emergency.

I also always carry glucose tabs with me.
In case I'm in the car, and danger strikes.
Believe me, it has happened.


Anyway...
Snacking...
Do you do it?
What foods/snacks do you find it hard for you to stop eating?

I think that everything is acceptable in moderation.
A healthy lifestyle means that you are staying active and eating healthy a majority of the time.
It does not mean that you can never look at a candy bar or handful of chips ever again!

Am I right?
Or Am I wrong?

Opinions?


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Being Naked

I swear this is a PG rated post... I swear!

Before I had lost the weight...
I was uncomfortable looking at myself in a mirror, especially one that showed me from the bust down.
I saw things that I hated...
I saw a person that I didn't know...

It's weird, since I had Emry, and gained all the fun fun weight, I never saw myself as fat.
Now, believe you me, I had fat... I had more than I should have....
But, my mindset was still from a much thinner person.

Then, I would see pictures of myself (or see myself nude in the bathroom mirror) and think:
"Who is that person? I am not her."

I have lost 2.2 pounds of my new goal, which means I have 7.8 pounds to go.
Looking at myself naked (or in a picture taken by someone else), has become an interesting thing...

I still see the fat girl.
It's as if my mind has totally flipped.

How freaking weird is that?

When I was skinny, I thought I was fat...
When I was fat, my head thought I was skinny...
AND BACK AGAIN?

Does this happen to anyone else?

Maybe it's the problem that we are never truly happy with ourselves...
That we are our own worst critics....


I know I look fifty times better than I did 4 months ago.
I know, that all of my clothes are hanging off of me.
I KNOW THIS
I FEEL THIS!

Why don't I see it?

It's an odd surreal moment.

Do we have any thoughts on this topic?

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

When work gets in the way of blogging

It's never fun when my job gets in the way of my blog.
It doesn't happen very often...
But, when it does...
BOY DOES IT.

I've been under a mountain.. no lie, MOUNTAIN of work today.

And I have to admit, when I have to be stationary this long, my mind wanders over to snacking.
It's just easy to graze while working on things...

Have I?
Nope.
Will I?
I hope not.


For Lunch I had a Curried Egg Salad and a couple Yellow Pepper Strips in a Pita Pocket.
With a side of Nectarines and Mangoes

All in all: 290 calories.

Pretty big lunch, all things considered... I was in the mood for a sandwich..
Bread needs to win every now and again.

What did you have for lunch?

Does anyone have any suggestions for healthy, low calorie lunch options for me?


Well..
I suppose work has to win again...

Until Next Time.

Monday, June 24, 2013

When life is good... it's really good.

I know the title sounds silly.
But, it's the best I got right now.

Our weekend was beautiful.
The weather was warm and sunny.
We got all the chores done, and were able to have some great fun..

Spending time with my son.. watching Klay and he go paddle boating.

We went out to eat on Sunday...

And overall enjoyed each other. 

I also made a very cool dish! 
Not very "healthy"... but it's all in one pot.. .so I will share it with you!


Photo: Blow your MIND" Tomato Basil Pasta! - No Straining, just Stirring 

 (Please click on pic then click SHARE so recipe saves to your timeline. You can refer back to it later!)

 Pasta, Tomatoes, Veggie Broth, Olive Oil, and Seasonings (details below)
 
 Throw it all in the pot, INCLUDING the uncooked Pasta, and cook! - Bring it to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. The starch leaches out of the pasta and makes a rich, warm sauce for the noodles. The other ingredients cook right along with the pasta
 Ingredients

 12 ounces pasta (I used Linguine)
 1 can (15 ounces) diced tomatoes with liquid ( I used zesty red pepper flavor)
 1 large sweet onion, cut in julienne strips
 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
 2 teaspoons dried oregano leaves
 2 large sprigs basil, chopped
 4 1/2 cups vegetable broth (regular broth and NOT low sodium)
 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
 Parmesan cheese for garnish

 Directions

 Place pasta, tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil, in a large stock pot. Pour in vegetable broth. Sprinkle on top the pepper flakes and oregano. Drizzle top with oil.

 Cover pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a low simmer and keep covered and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes or so. Cook until almost all liquid has evaporated – I left about an inch of liquid in the bottom of the pot – but you can reduce as desired .

 Season to taste with salt and pepper , stirring pasta several times to distribute the liquid in the bottom of the pot. Serve garnished with Parmesan cheese. 

Simply The Best You...Healthy and Happy
found it on a facebook share... honestly.
Throw it all in the pot, INCLUDING the uncooked Pasta, and cook! - Bring it to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. The starch leaches out of the pasta and makes a rich, warm sauce for the noodles. The other ingredients cook right along with the pasta
Ingredients

12 ounces pasta (I used Penne)

1 can (15 ounces) diced tomatoes with liquid ( I used oregano, basil and galic flavor)
1 large sweet onion, cut in julienne strips
4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons dried oregano leaves
2 large sprigs basil, chopped
4 1/2 cups vegetable broth (regular broth and NOT low sodium)
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Parmesan cheese for garnish (if so desired)

Directions


Place pasta, tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil, in a large stock pot. Pour in vegetable broth. Sprinkle on top the pepper flakes and oregano. Drizzle top with oil.


Cover pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a low simmer and keep covered and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes or so. Cook until almost all liquid has evaporated – I left about an inch of liquid in the bottom of the pot – but you can reduce as desired .


Season to taste with salt and pepper , stirring pasta several times to distribute the liquid in the bottom of the pot. Serve garnished with Parmesan cheese.
 



Now I know what you are thinking...
Did this really work?

Yup.
It did.

And, I got to say, it smelled AMAZING.
I have to note, you do need to stir it a LOT. Every two minutes is NOT an exaggeration.
I still had one or two crusty penne pieces on the bottom of the pot.

I also grilled up a package of chicken sausage to dice up and place on top of the pasta.

So, I'm scared to do this, but let's break down the nutitional value of this meal!

We will not include the Parmesan cheese, since it's only if you really WANT it.

This comes out to roughly 8-10 servings

Per serving we are looking at:

CALORIES = 286.4
FAT = 7 grams
CARBS = 41 grams
PROTEIN = 15 grams

 Overall this is not a completely unhealthy meal.
There are a lot of carbohydrates in it..
But, honestly, we are talking about a PASTA dish.. what would you expect?

There are great elements in this. 
And it's in one stinking pot.

Come on fellow mothers.. REJOICE...
One pot...
Done in 10 - 12 minutes! 
AMAZING!


I have officially lost another pound.
I am 9 pounds away from my second goal.

If my app is correct, I will be seeing my new goal weight in about a month.

I am staying on track, and it feels wonderful.

And this weekend, I learned, that I can do 100 situps in one sitting, without feeling like shit.
I can think that's an amazing indication of my endurance and my increased strength.

How was your weekend?
Happy Monday People!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Defending your Lifestyle

Yesterday,
there was yet another party within our building.

The last time we had a party, there were a few haters, and I felt very insecure about me, my eating, and my lifestyle.

I was scared it was going to happen again.

This party was after lunch, and contained all dessert food.

I wasn't planning on indulging...
I really wasn't hungry at all.

But, I knew to some, it was going to misinterpreted and skewed...

I didn't want to feel that way.

So, we sat for the service, honored the people who the party was about, and I took a fruit cup when it was over. 
And I proceeded to go back to my office, I was kind of busy...

Fruit Cup sat, I worked, I really didn't want it...
So it continued to sit.

Gia comes by...
Notices the uneaten fruit...

"Aren't you going to eat that?"
"Maybe. I'm not that hungry."
"Oh, I took this, blueberry buttery crumble thing, it's really good."
"Cool!"
"You want a piece."
"No, I'm good."
"Not even a little piece."

In my head... I'm thinking Not Again. 

"Why do you do that?"
"What?"
"Try to force food on me. It makes me feel like you think I starve myself. And, it hurts my feelings."

*She paused*
"Oh I never meant to do that, I'm spanish, it's in my nature." **COVER UP**
"I'm Italian, it's in our nature to eat everything, but I'd never do that to you."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
"It's okay, but, this is really hard for me as it is. So, if anything, I need support from my friends."
"Oh okay.."

And then we moved on to another conversation.

I stood up for myself.
I stood up for my healthy lifestyle.
I defended my weightloss, and my success...
I defended all that I am trying to achieve.

And, I am proud of myself.

And, that leads me to this:

Never let anyone discourage you.
EVER.
You have a dream?
You have a goal?
You working your butt off to achieve it?
Good for you.
Anyone who doesn't respect you for that...
Doesn't support you for it... 
Is NOT your friend...
And you do NOT need them in your world.

Do not be ashamed for what you want or need.
Your life.
Your journey.
You do it on your terms.

No one walks it for you..
So no one should be able to take you off of it.
Or make you feel bad for doing it.


Inner strength.
Determination..
These are important traits...

Your true friends and family will see this.


Feeling Empowered.
What about you?

Happy Friday.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

What got me over the last 1 pound hump?

The last pound was shed do to a little extra work..
I know.. Shocking...


I remember reading a comment, on some Yahoo Shine! article about this YouTube Channel.

So...
When I was super frustrated about the final pound mogul I needed to find something.

So, I thought, how bad could it be...
If I hate it, I'll just stop doing it.

With a click of the enter key, I was taken to youtube, a couple more clicks after that to Fitness Blender's channel...

I looked up muffin top.
Yup, after losing this insane amount of weight.. I still have a muffin top.
I think it's there to stay..
Anyway, I digress...

There was a 10 minute 37 second video dedicated to losing that muffin top.

The videos are structured very well.

They tell you the breakdown of your time at the beginning of each video.

It's normally: 45 - 60 seconds of one exercise, followed by a 10 second break (which they show you the following exercise coming up), into the next exercise.

The video was over, and I wasn't dead.
I was sweaty, and I felt tired...
But, I worked out.

I did my normal nighttime routine after that.
Which consists of doing approximately 50 situps while my bath is running.

I woke up the next morning..
disrobed, and stepped on the scale... as I do every morning now... out of habit.
I blinked.
I was under my goal weight.
I had blown... right passed the pound.. and went UNDER it...

It was 6:30a and I didn't want to squeal and wake the entire house.
But,
I did it.

120 days... to a healthy BMI...

So, 
I have set my new goal of an additional 10 pound of weight to lose.

LoseIt!, the Application I use, says that if I exercise and stick within the calorie regimen, I will achieve that by July 25, 2013.
About a month.

And, I am pretty excited with that.

If I lose another 10lbs that would give me a BMI of: 23.2

In case you don't understand what that number means.

You're BMI is calculated by your height and your weight.

These are how the numbers work:

BMI Categories:
  • Underweight = <18 .5="" li="">
  • Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
  • Overweight = 25–29.9
  • Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

If I wanted to be dead center in the middle of a Normal BMI, I would have to be a 21.2.
That would mean that from where I am.. I would half to lose another...
oh... 21.5 pounds.
I really don't feel the need to do that.
If I lose this final 10... it puts me darn close to the middle of a Healthy BMI.

I will be in the best shape of my life, and I will maintain a curvy sexy physique...
And that's not only important to me, but to my man.. Yeah, he likes my curves..
I just hated my fat.


If you want something you can do at home..
That won't make you feel shitty, or bored.
Try FitnessBlender.
I recommend it.

Last night, I actual wanted to try 2 videos...
So I did two different ab/oblique workouts.
One was mostly floor work, and the other was mostly standing.

I had fun.
You can too.

Feeling Great.
How about you?

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Goal Achieved

Officially:

As of 7a this morning

I have met my goal.

That is all.

Stay Tuned For Tomorrow's Post.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Taking your own advice

Walk away when you know you're angry.
Walk away when you know you're going to say something you don't mean.
Walk away when you are about to lash out, because you are very tired.

I say these things, to others, and I, for the most part, do them.
Last night...
Was really hard for me to walk my talk....

I was over tired from work.
I was drained from being "Dear Abby"  and I had to sit through a karate class...
Monday was the, "I don't feel like being present" day for Emry.
He was being a six year old boy who wanted to be outside, not in a stuffy Karate Dojo.
I know, THE HORROR!
He wasn't misbehaving, he just wasn't giving it his absolute all.
Like he has been.

I kept hearing them correct him for the same mistake.
Over and Over and Over and Over.
Each time he would look at me, and I was just look back, as if to telepathically say: 
USE YOUR NOGGIN KID! 

His distaste for being focused rolled over to dinner...
I have this rule.. it's more of an incessant need I have...
Not to let food go bad in the fridge.
I KNOW... THE HORROR!!!
Emry had peas last week, and the itty, bitty, tiny remainder of them (1/4 cup at most) sat in the container in the fridge.

"I want corn."
"Can we finish the peas, and you can have corn tomorrow?"
"I don't like peas."
"You love peas, you made me buy them, multiple times.. you just don't feel like peas."
"I feel like corn."

*Slaps Forehead*

"I walked into that one. Let's finish the peas, and I'll give you TWO slices of watermelon with you dinner."
"Okay."

Dinner starts...
He eats everything.. but the peas.

"I need a drink."
"Start on those peas, while I get you some juice."

I take my time getting the juice...
He's trying to fill up, it's a game he does, he tries to fill up on everything, other than the one thing he needs to eat... Because in his head (not that it's ever happened) he'll get out of eating it.
EVEN THOUGH HE LIKES PEAS.

I get the juice...
Not a single pea has been eaten.

Now, I'm tired, so I start being REALLY stubborn.

"Eat half the peas, and I'll give you the juice."
"I ate some."
"That's a lie."
"I ate two."
"That's nothing... come on, half the peas... you could do that in 2 scoops"
"What if I sneeze peas?"

*Trying not to chuckle*

"Do you have to sneeze?"
"No."
"Kid, don't do this, just eat the peas."

"NO."

"Excuse me."
"I want juice now."
"That is not how this works."

TENSION GROWING.

I put the juice on the counter.
I am being really really stubborn by this point... his stubborn, makes me stubborn... when I am this tired. This isn't helping anyone, and I know it.

"I'm going to heat up my food... I'll bring the juice back with me.... then maybe some of those peas will be gone."

"No."

"Cheezus Crust Kid... What is with you today?"
"Huh?"
"Go to your room, we'll do bath time first, and if you're good.. you can try to finish your dinner."
"What about my juice?"
 "It's part of your dinner."

That's when you can feel the burning from your 6 year old's EYES burning through the back of your skull.

At this point Logical Mom is going: What are you thinking here?
And Over Tired Mom is thinking: We're not in a desert, he won't die of thirst.

Over tired Mom was winning by a landslide.
Bath went fine...
I put him in front of his plate.
He starts to eat...
I give him the drink.
He stops eating, and then proceeds to drink the entire (16 ounce... I freaking measured) glass of watered done juice. 

**TICK TICK TICK**
This is what I knew would happen.

"Mama, I'm full."

**TICK TICK TICK**

Time bomb time...
No.
It wasn't.

"Eat you dinner and then put yourself in bed. I'll tuck you in later."

And I walked to my room, and shut the door.
No yelling.
No screaming
No saying stupidity....

Just silence.
And you know what...
He finished those peas in about 2 minutes...
I heard him put himself into his bed...

And, I tried like the dickens to stay in my bed, and not allow my over tired, already stubborn, angry mom voice to take hold...

It takes a while, but Logical Mom wins...
She's such a bitch.

And then.. I was fine.. I was calm...
I did go in and tucked him in...
Even turned on his fan... since even with the light sheet... the room was warm...


You tell people:
"Find you light."
"Walk away when you are angry"
"Don't say things you don't mean."
"You're the adult, act like it."
"Don't let your dark take over."
"Tired is not an excuse to be mean."

You got to practice what you preach.

It's just good karma.

 



Monday, June 17, 2013

Realtionship Guru... wait... me?

The new girl, Gia, has been really...
Well.. 
She's been telling me really personal stuff about her relationship, 
and asking my input.

I am not used to this.

In the past (pre-Klay), I did not have very stable relationships.

I wasn't very stable before I had my son!

But, I digress..
This girl, who is a few years younger than I am, has been asking me some real "Dear Abby" type things.

And, everything she tells me, all it sounds like is immature BS.
From both sides.

Lots of he said.. so I'll do..
and she did, so I'll do...

There is a kid in this mix... 
I don't know how things like this occur.

But, then, I get this tid bit of information.

We were dating for 8 months when I got pregnant.
He wanted a baby, and I really didn't.

I got married to my ex, when we knew each other for 8 months...
I couldn't imagine having a baby at that time frame.

Which leads me into this thought process....
It takes too to make a baby...
If you didn't want one...
Why did you
A) Not get on the pill
B) Let him touch you without a condom
C) not make sure you and he were on the same page?

It just seems like she wasn't tricked into anything.
That she just succumbed... and let it happen.

She loves her son, and she is a good mother (from what I can tell).
But, this relationship seems off.

If they fight, it's an epic battle.
There is a silent treatment...
And nasty words said.

She spoke with separating...
And he threatened to take her to court, and take their son away from her.

We ALL know that is NOT how that works...

But, 
"His family KNOWS people."

Excuse me?
Do you really THINK that's how this works?


So, 
I told her:

You have one option:
Get your shit together.
Find out what your rights are.

Have a game plan.

The example I gave her:
You have a fire safety plan at home? Yeah? How is this any different?

But, to be proactive, because you can't say you just didn't try to change things.

This way, if you give it the old college try, and it doesn't take... You know what you are going to do.
There will be no time for idle threats, it will just be done.

But, if you do make a change, and things get better, at least you were prepared.


But, I find myself allowing my light to drain...into her dark.

I identify with this too much.

There were things she would say, and I would see (in my mind) things that happened between my ex and I. As I give her my input, I feel my light begin to drain.

This is a feeling I do not like.
I suppose, in some ways, I have not fully gotten over things of the past.

Yet, I would not say that I wear them, either.

So, I think, if I am going to give any more input...
I need to figure out a way to disassociate what I am hearing...and be totally objective.

Also:
If Gia, keeps coming to me with the same drama, I need to give less and less of a response.

You are responsible for that in which you allow.



I am by no means, a relationship guru...
I just, for once (and finally so), have a balanced normal relationship.
And an overall happy life.

I don't want to become one...
But, I also don't want to be rude... when someone is in need of help.

Finding the balance...
In all areas of life.




The Infamous One Pound

I have been one pound away from my goal, for about a week now.
It's not budging.
I didn't gain, nor lose any weight this weekend... which, in the grand scheme of things is kind of awesome.
Usually, my weekends are about 2lbs of gain, and that takes me about a day or so to burn off...

Also:
Being a woman, I know, SCANDALOUS, there is one week in the month that everything bloats.
That obviously was last week.

It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't get the scale to budge.

So:
I kept doing what I normally do.
I am on a healthy track, and there is no reason to stress myself out with it.
Seriously.
This is progress for me.

But...
still... 
one pound to my goal...
It's a big deal.

I just want to clear it...
So that I can move forward.
I can make a new goal, and work towards it.


For the week,
I have channeled my inner Chinese Chef, and I have used my wok.
I took:

Asparagus
Mushrooms
String Beans
Red Pepper
Carrots
Long Hot Pepper (Cubanellos)

and just a little Pam, S&P
And sauteed it in my wok.

Very tasty.

The vegetables let off an amazing amount of water,
so, I took all that amazing vegetable broth, and sauteed a pound of chicken in it.
The chicken took on all the flavor of the sauteed vegetables, and absorbed some of the broth.

 The chicken got this seared brown coloring, and smells AMAZING.

The vegetables alone are only 45 calories per cup.

The chicken is more for the men of the household.. so they can have MEAT.
*giggles*

My protein for the week is going to come from Spicy Southwestern Sabra Hummus.
I am going to heat up the veggies, toss them in a little hummus, and have a little pita with it.
That's my lunch today!
I also brought some YUMMY blackberries.

Life is pretty good.
With this silly extra one pound and all.


Thursday, June 13, 2013

When you have the "In-Law" feelings without the actual "In-Laws"

I have been with Klay for a long time now...
We are "in a relationship"...
I wouldn't say we date...
or that he's my boyfriend...
He's my significant other.
My partner.

His parents are good, decent people...

But, even though they aren't directly my family...
I am having those "In-Law" feelings about them.

It all started when I overheard them wanting to rent out a property they own.
I have a friend (and her husband) who were looking for a property in that area.
On their request (my compadres), I began laying the ground work.

I gave Klay's Parents the low-down on who they were, when they were looking to rent...
When they were looking to call them to see it...

Everything was right on track.

So, low and behold...

My friend texts me today, to tell me that upon setting up an appointment to view this property, Klay's mother told her they were selling it instead....

Wait a second.
Stop for a minute.
WHAT THE FUCK?

It's not that they changed their minds.
It's their property.. they can do with it as they please...
It's that, THEY didn't tell me...
So, that I didn't look like a complete moron to my friend (who is also a coworker. Her husband is too.)

I got this burning feeling in my gut.
It's really kind of rude.
And it's not like we only discussed it once.
We discussed it several times, and as of 2 weeks ago they were a'ok with it.

My friend says, everything is cool, no big deal.. if it doesn't work out.

But... I think for me, it's the principle of the matter.

How little must they respect me, if they didn't even tell me
"By the way, tell your friend we are leaning towards selling."
 
Am I being sensitive about this one?
 
It isn't the first time my toes have been stepped on.
Mother's Day was another example.
 
When Klay and I (Emry and my dad too) had planned on going to Joe's Crabshack...
And we invited Klay's parents... because it was for freaking mother's day!
 And they didn't want to go, because of the "potential crowds"...

So, I submitted, because family is important... and we did something at their home.
No big deal right?

The other day... They send Klay a picture of them eating crab, at Joe's Crab Shack.
*twitch*
Want to note, we haven't had time or funds since Mother's Day, to go....

That touched a nerve as well.

I know these are very very trivial things...

It just seems like rude treatment... and I don't understand why.

They are not even my "In-Laws" and I am having those types of feelings about them.

I'm trying to find the positive light...
But I haven't yet...
I'll get there...

Thoughts?


 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Catching you up... on me.

I am still within fingers grasp of my goal...
I am still 1 pound away...

And, I am hoping to break that pound barrier by tomorrow.

I know, sounds crazy, but, I just might do it.

Last night, I could have done it...
But, truth of the matter is, this cute old lady next door, made us a coffee cake...
And I wanted a small piece of it.
So I did...
With nice, warm, Roman Provinence Tea...
So
Tasty.

I also, tried watching The Hobbit Movie, again...
It's an interesting movie...
I just can't make it by the half way point without falling asleep...

I blame my couch being way to comfortable...
I also blame the fact that I am moving from 5a...
And when my butt, does in fact, touch the couch... 
It's a recipe for disaster.

I am looking into signing up for a Kickboxing class.
There is one a couple of towns over...
And as long as it isn't CRAZY expensive...
I just might do it for the summer.
It will push me and really help me tone up.

They have classes at 8:15a on Saturday mornings.
I am up at 6a anyway, might as well eat a healthy breakfast, get some comfy workout clothes on, and drive over.
I'd be home by 10:45a... and that's when I really get into the groove of activity ANYWAY.

Thoughts?

I could just take a Zumba Class up the street...
But, I really want Kickboxing.
Not sure why...
It's calling to me...

It was also mentioned that I could train (Go Shin Ryu) where Emry goes...
But, I've never seen an adult class, and I don't know how active they keep...

Also:
1 hour of kickboxing = 630 calories (give or take)
That would be awesome way to keep me active on the weekends...
Since the weekends are my WORST days.

We'll see, money is a factor right now.. and any activity is more than I do now..
So, the cheaper one will win.


I grabbed the wrong yogurt this morning...
Very Sad.
I grabbed the 160 calorie yogurt... which is Klays...
I left my 80 calorie Toasted Vanilla Coconut Yogurt in the fridge.
WHY ME?
**CRIES**

Just kidding, I am not that nuts....
But, I really was looking forward to the Toasted Vanilla Coconut Flavor.
Just like ice cream.
No joke.

This morning I killed a colony of ants.
They have ninja'd their way through a crevice under my back door... 
And marched right into Bryce's food bowl.
TOTALLY GROSS.

Ants 0 Kateri 1
I kicked their butts.
Cleaned his bowl.
Disposed of the ant laden food...
And sprayed the outside frame of the door.

Stupid ants.
Don't come back no, ya'hear? I got your number!


Emry has a birthday party to go to this weekend, and I still need to pick up a gift for this kid....
Ugh...
Maybe I'll do that Friday morning...
You know, day off, should sleep in, but I will do errands instead.
Just the kind of woman I am.

How is life your way?
 
 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Being the Positive One

(I know I promised pictures from Emry and my "fun time", but, those will have to wait until later.)

We all have that friend, the one who is always negative. 
Who can't see the light through the trees...
If something goes wrong, it will only get worse for her...

But, she's your friend, and you try to keep friends, since you have so very little of them, and since you know you aren't a Diamond all the time either....
Anyway...

I have 8 tattoos... this is not off topic, some may not like tattoos, but, hey, this is my blog... 
Anyway.
I HAVE EIGHT.

This friend has at least 12 years on me...
And she has quite a few as well..
This stands to reason, that she knows something about them... maintenance, etc.

Reason can take a hike.. Reason doesn't exist in this conversation.

It all started with,"I want to cover up my tattoo."

And, after a very rude and pushy tattoo artist (who I wouldn't have let touch me with a fifty foot pole based on the way he treated her) it ended with, "I got the tattoo touched up!"

And, I'm sure he didn't tell her to use lotion on it...
I am almost positive he didn't tell her to keep it soaking...
But, she did, and I am almost certain that it is irritated and heading towards infection-ville (population: my friend).

She asks my opinion.
I answer with what the maintenance I have used on my artwork...
She says that everything I have ever done, in the past 10 years on my artwork is WRONG, and that none of the websites say that...
(Even though, my tattoos, some 10 years old, still look brand new, and have never gotten close to looking like hers...)
But I digress...

I tell her my opinion again.
Tell her that's all I got for her, and that I can't give an opinion on things I haven't done...

She googles it.
Yup.
I said it..

SHE GOOGLED MY OPINION.
When google told her I was right... then she believed me.

**TWITCH TWITCH**

I begin thinking, do I really need friends? 
I could be a hermit.
Hermits have nice quiet existences...
Do hermits have children?
Hmm... could I be a hermit with Klay and Emry?
 Probably not... damn....


Moving on..

Now it's.. 
"I am not getting another tattoo again, unless this one looks bad and I need to get it retouched."

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!

BE POSITIVE.
IT WILL LOOK FINE.
THIS SHIT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
IT WILL LOOK PERFECT AS LONG AS YOU USE THE CORRECT MAINTENANCE NOW!
 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!

(That's not exactly what I said... but, it's what I thought.)

Now the point:

None of us will be 100% positive all of the time.
But, when we are, there is a good chance that someone else in our circle isn't.
Whether it be family, friends, or co-workers...

If you have some light... 
Share it with someone who is down in the dark.

Don't give it away....
Just help this person see what is there...
And let them take the lead.

We all need someone to be the positive one.

We all need some help climbing out of the dark...

We are not meant to be hermits... even though, at some points we would prefer it....
We are meant to be with people.. to help others and to be helped (if need be)..

Remember:
At the end of the day...
There is only one choice...
To move forward...
  

Monday, June 10, 2013

Here I am.. You miss me?

Friday was the work day from hell.
Yes it was.
I got up from my desk.. for lunch, and one 5 second potty break.

It was insane.

This weekend...
Was blissful.

The majority of the weekend was spent cleaning out the garage, organizing, and cleaning...
But, there was this moment on Saturday...

Where I took Emry out for some fun.

Yup.
I put all the work on the side...
And I took Emry out.

We met up with some of the Karate parents (and their kids)...
and we went to an antique car show... at the cutest themed 50's diner.
And we spent the entire afternoon/evening there.

Totally worth it.
So much fun.

And, Emry had a ball with his friends.

I had a blast as well.

But... 
Now that the weekend is over, and the week has begun...
I am exhausted.
Literally, my eyes are closing, and I am having difficulty staying awake.

Too much fun!
Or maybe it was too much work..
Let's blame the work... shall we?


This week, I would like to plant a hydrangea by my mailbox..
It's almost gone... I've been neglecting it... so, I need to do this today or tomorrow...
 I think I can save it!
(Fingers Crossed People)

Another busy day of work is ahead of me...
I just wanted to sit down, and let you all know that I'm here...
And, I'm happy.

I hope to be able to fill you all in, in way more detail, later on...

Stay with me friends!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

When you find yummy leftovers....

I woke up this morning not feeling well...
I did my morning routine on complete and utter autopilot.
I brought my yogurt to work for breakfast..

I went to the gym on autopilot...
UNTIL
This entirely overwhelming pain formed in my gut.
I'm not even 3 minutes into a 15 minute elliptical run...
I knew I wasn't going "all the way" (so to speak) this morning...
I did 10 minutes, and promised to do an extra 5 of weight training.

My stomach would subside... and then come back...
But, I made it through the rest of the workout (with the extra 5 minutes of weight training included.)
I didn't burn as many calories as I normally do...
But...
Honestly, I felt like that thing from ALIEN was going to jump out of my stomach...
So.
Whatever.

I come upstairs, get cleaned up from the gym...
Stomach still flipping me the bird.

I open the fridge to grab my yogurt...

THERE IT WAS.
I HAD FORGOTTEN COMPLETELY ABOUT IT.

A work friend had made sausage gumbo over rice...
I hadn't eaten it, because I had brought lunch that day...
And I had swore I would bring it home...
Not that I would eat it...
But, I thought Klay would like it.

THERE IT SAT.
In it's beautiful opaque white container, with clear lid.
Calling to me.

"You feel awful... You need comfort food... Not that low cal yogurt"

Marley's GHOST? 
No.. Gumbo.. Gumbo talking to me from the fridge.

I ignored it. Promised myself I would bring it home tonight for Klay...
And began to eat my yogurt.

*muffled noises from the break room fridge*

"Why are you doing this to us?! We are meant to be together!"

My resistance faltered...

I got up.

I went to the fridge.

I held the container...

And then... I threw the fuckhead in the garbage... I mean, SERIOUSLY... if I hear this thing SPEAKING to me a room away (speaking at all, I know I know, we know I'm crazy) it must be bad news.

So..
I killed the yummy leftovers...

But, I swear...
They had it coming.

And...
Then...
Magically
(not magically... maybe physiologically)
My stomach feels better.


So.
Win, Win...
If you ask me.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Weightloss Hurdle: "Haters are gonna Hate"

I've been dancing around this post for a week or so...
I haven't been able to really delve into it...
I'm afraid where it would take my emotional state...

Let's start at the beginning:

A week or so ago, we had a farewell luncheon, and it turned out to be a Pizza & Ice cream party (I know, what are we 6?).
Now, we all know that during the week, is when I am my most motivated..
I have structured meals..
And it's much easier to keep pushing towards my goal...

Pizza and Ice cream usually do not fit into that scenario.
Hell, they never fit in.

But, it was a farewell luncheon... and I didn't want to be the only one eating not the menu.
Somehow, in my mind, it would have been disrespectful.... 

So anyway,
I was truly blessed when I saw a BIG BOWL OF SALAD... I was really over the moon about it.
And there was veggie pizza...

So, 1 slice of pizza and the biggest helping of salad that I could manage on a plate. 
Light italian dressing drizzled ontop...

Doesn't sound awful right?

I sat with Karissa and the new girl, Gia. We were joined by the entire Human Resources Department.
(Note: even though all of HR knows me by name, and we are social, they do not know me or my eating habits.)

Karissa (who has these very jealous moments) comments that she hasn't seen me eat "real" food in a long time. 
Then Gia, who honestly is an easily led soul, fed off of that, and tried to keep on the "joke".
 And made the comment, that I eat "like 2 grapes, and 2 pieces of broccoli."
And they laughed and laughed and laughed.

Meanwhile, the HR department is looking at me like I am crash dieting.
I kept saying things, calmly, because we were at a function, that they knew that wasn't the case, and not to say that. That I actually eat, and that it isn't funny to say I don't.

But, when I ate the pizza, with a knife and fork (because all the veggies had weighed it down, and made it impossible to pick up), they started in on me again.

I felt my tension growing..
I didn't let it show...
Not worth it in my book.

Then, it was ice cream time.
Usually my building carries the Skinny Cow ice creams, or Frozen Greek Yogurt bars..
Not that day... and I really didn't want to slam an entire ice cream sandwich into my body...
Just because everyone else was.
So I passed.

They started in on me again.

And then Gia offered to cut her ice cream sandwich in half, because she didn't want the whole thing.
So, I rationalized that... it wasn't so bad to eat half... and if she wasn't eating the whole thing anyway...
Why not.
TRAP TRAP TRAP
Why didn't I see it coming?

She cuts it in half, and asks me if I want the "smaller" half...
It was perfectly cut down the middle, so I told her to pick whatever one she wanted.
"Do you want me to measure it, so you get the smaller one?"
HR looking at me like I am nuts...
AGAIN
I told her no.. and almost felt like shoving the entire ice cream sandwich (BOTH FUCKING HALVES) in her face.
But, I didn't.
I picked the piece closer to me, and then ate it.
Karissa started in...

I swear, I was really kind of embarassed.
I was REALLY angry.

I didn't let it show.

Luncheon ended.
We went back to work...

And I have stewed on it ever since...
It came to a boil this morning.

There are donuts in the break room.
(It needs to be said that there is always SOMETHING in the break room.)

Gia is eating one, I ask if there are a lot of donuts in there...
"Yeah, you want one?"
I tell her no, and she kind of laughs.. but doesn't add to why she thinks what I said is funny.


What I have came to understand, and firmly grasp today... and since that scenario...

HATERS
ARE
GOING
TO
HATE

Now, Karissa is an good acquaintance.. and on certain days we are friends...
But, I know it really bugs her that I have lost so much weight...
and she won't commit to anything enough to even lose a little.
This isn't an assumption.
I know this.

Gia, is one who is easily led. I can tell she is a sweet person.. But, also, she has body image issues (she's admitted them freely) and she can't get on track either (also admitted freely).

People who won't take control of their own lives.. their own health...
Tend to get upset with those of us who do.. and succeed... and who aren't easily led astray.

But, where is my fault in this.
It does take two to tango.

Perhaps I could be more discreet about logging my calories into my app.
Perhaps, I couldn't be such a pita, when they want to take the elevator, and I want to take the stairs. Taking an elevator ride isn't the worst... I can always do double the stairs when they aren't around.

Perhaps those are some answers...

I should only really discuss my journey to people who understand and support me.
They will never see my healthy lifestyle as a negative... and will never make jokes about it.


So:

Haters are gonna Hate...

And I am 2 lbs away from my goal.

How about THEM apples?



Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Time


The question came to me:
What do I wish I had more time to do?

And my comment to BBS was:
"I would like to find more time to be Just Mom… Not the worker bee, cleaning bee, busy bee…
I would like to fine more time to enjoy my son."

It's the truth... I want to be able to enjoy Emry more.
As a working mother, it's hard to find that balance...
To maintain that Nurturing Providing Aficionado...

There is always something to clean...
There is always some project to be done...
Some book to be read..
Some homework to be done...
Some food to be cooked...
(Recently) Some box to be unpacked...

There is almost no time for...

"Mama, can you play with me?"

Hell, I can always find a reason to say:

"No honey, not now, we have stuff to do..."

There will always be stuff to do..

There will not always be a little boy, who wants nothing more than to play with his parents...

I have to remember that...
I always tend to forget...

He will not be a little boy forever.

Emry has been wanting to go on these paddle boats, at a local lake...
He also wants to bring a lunch on a boat, and eat on the water...
(My little nature boy)

We've been putting it off for WEEKS...
Perhaps this weekend..
What the hell.. Perhaps?!

If it doesn't rain..
We are going on the freaking lake.

That's the way this is going to get done..

You have to make the time for the fun...
Just as you make the time for the work...

It has to be balanced, or how else will you have a full life?

Am I making sense here?

I hope I am... otherwise this post will be completely pointless...

**Sighs**

There are 24 hours in a day, and I spend 8.5 hours commuting and working... 
I spend at most 8 hours sleeping... 
That leaves me 7.5 hours of a week day to cook, clean, and fit in some DAMN fun!

So...

I guess the point of this is...
And, what I felt hit me as I read over at BBS...

There will be never enough time to do everything...
So do what counts.
My family and I... 
are what's most important...
(at least in my world.)