People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Wedding #3 - It's OUR wedding 

This is my soon to be Mother in Law. Well, that's not true... She doesn't look anything like this. But, what you should be seeing is the Bat Shit Crazy Expression... That's all the future M.I.L. 

Okay, I am still going over the line... and being hypercrtical.

Klay's monster mother, is a nice lady. She accepted Emry and I from day 1. She has always treated us like family. And, I know she loves me. I know it. 

Now, that we're planning a wedding... I am noticing... a large.... Italian Mother in Law PUSH... from his mom....

Ok, here's what happened:

It started when we got engaged, literally 48 hours later, "Have you set a date BECAUSE...."

And the excuses have gone up to recently....

  1. Klay's brother and wife might be relocated (she is a doctor for the army), and they need a lot of notice.... (Mind you, Klay's brother said it would be worked out either way, that she was being insane, and that they didn't care WHEN we did our wedding. They would be there.)
  2. Klay's brother and wife (same people as #1) are expecting a baby in April, so we should do it around then either.
  3. (When she found out we wanted a fall wedding) To make sure that we planned around the events at the Veteran's hall that they VOLUNTEER at. (I am not joking.)
  4.  She has a BUNCH of people that need inviting, so she needs to know when it is.

Let's discuss #4, and how really upset it makes me. Now, I'm not sure if we've discussed our budget, but we are only inviting 100 people. Whoever shows from that number, is who comes to our wedding. This number also has to include whoever is working our wedding (ie: musicians/DJ and photographer). 

Another reason we are only inviting 100 people, is anymore, and we would not ENJOY our wedding. The venue is gorgeous: from the gardens to the reception area. If I can't enjoy that... I don't want to do it there. By keeping our guest list small... we can have an intimate affair. With people who we truly enjoy the company of. 

Now, I'm not being unreasonable at all. I have a list started, and Klay is working on his. Some of his list may include people that she has on her *cringe* list. 
We are inviting family and friends from both sides... 
But, there are and I am taking this quote directly from a conversation with his mother:

"friends and family of ours (who may not necessarily know you guys), who would be hurt if we do not invite."

Yup, that's a direct quote from a facebook conversation. 

I'm sorry, Friends and Family of "ours", who may not know Klay... WHAT TYPE OF FAMILY OR FRIENDS OF THEIRS DO NOT KNOW THEIR SON??????????? 

Does this seem stupid? or is it just me?

Also: How are these people going to be "hurt", if they NEVER know this event occurs?


Also: what if we decided right freaking now, that we only wanted our IMMEDIATE family? and Just did the ceremony at the venue? and went to a kick ass dinner there? What if we only decided to invite 20 PEOPLE TOPS? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?????

Would these people still be hurt if it was a SUPER INTIMATE AFFAIR?

And, I'm sorry... as Klay said last night, "What do I care about people who I have NEVER met?" 

And at the end of the day.. that is ALL that matter.

We are entertaining her list, but, when it comes down to the basics....

No one gets invited that we aren't comfortable with.

Am I wrong?
Am I being the one unreasonable? 

I mean, I could show you the ENTIRE conversation with her, and let you be the one to decide.

I am much calmer today, than I was yesterday. 
So, I think I could entertain constructive feedback on this one... just a little. :)


  1. It's your wedding, not hers.
    You're paying for it, not her.
    Invite who YOU want.

    If there's someone she HAS to invite, let her know the price is $$XYZ and that your budget is what it is, that unfortunately, you don't know them and aren't going to pay for them to join you.

    At least that's what I would have done.

  2. I had a huge fight with my family about this too and you know what I did? Invited who I wanted and said fuck the rest! We LOVED our wedding! It was a max of 75 people and it was so nice to be able to see and hug every last one of them because every single one of them was happy and privileged to be there. You want to remember your day as a coming together of two worlds and making one, not a parade of people trampling the dance floor.