Hi, my name is Kat.. and I haven't blogged... in a LONG time...
Now, you all say, in unison, "Hello Kat."
So, I'm back.. at least I think I am.
I think I've got my head on straight enough to dive back into this without becoming entirely overwhelmed. . . . .
Where was I? Well, I was right here... the entire time... stalking from the perimeters... thinking about writing, but abstaining. I wasn't myself.. at all.. and I was scared to write some things... Hell, I was afraid to write about anything.
But, I'm not now.
Let's go through the checklist of possible questions you probably have:
- Yes. I have maintained my weight loss and then some new changes there:
When I stopped blogging, one of the many reasons was that I was so stressed, I wasn't giving a rats ass about what I was eating. I thought "I'll just run it off later." And that became a losing battle, and it became one quickly. Kicked myself in the head, and changed my workout.
I am now doing 2-3 days a week of Running with Core exercises and 2 days a week of Weight/Strength Training. I got myself back on track about a month ago.. and have actually became more lean then ever before. Please re-read that. I have not lost more than my original 50lb weight loss... I have just got lean and strong. Look above. I gots muscles! My legs are tighter and my core is more compact. I feel strong too. And that is very important in my world.
- Yes. Klay and I are still getting married:
The countdown on that is 191 days 22 hrs 32 min 35 seconds. Yes, I have a countdown on my phone. This subject was the start of a lot of stress in my world. It was what almost broke me. Isn't that funny? Something that is supposed to bring us the most joy.. was pulling us individually (and together) apart? Forget that! I had to take control of that. Weddings are stressful things. A lot of interesting family dynamics come through... A lot of things you never realized bothered you.. will now bother you. Everyone has an opinion and most people are just trying to be helpful. But, I, I felt smothered. I felt like the seas were coming down around me. I felt like I was being judged for every decision I was making... And, I don't think I really was.
I got a dress, and the fitting is next month. One of the fittings, at least. I bought shoes, and made crafts.. and have been antique diving... And scraping every little penny I have to make this work... And I want to tell you all about it. In time.
- Emry is still the world's most awesome kid:
His royal majesty, our Lord and Master.. turned 7 years old a couple weeks back. We through him a large (it wasn't supposed to be) party... and had a wonderful time. Being a mom is also a full time job, and balancing my health, my wedding and him was... another stressor. I had to get back to a place where I remembered (and yes I forgot this)... He is a CHILD.. he is MY child and is not PART OF A SCHEDULE. Not a piece that I can just move around. This required more flexibility.. and if any of you remember my OCD.. is a hard thing for me to do. But I am working on it. I plan on writing a lot about that as well.
- Work: Still at work.
It's the same ol' same ol'........Nothing new to report... Except... NBC is in the building today.. and they are cardboarding all over the floors and the cubicles.... Weird... But, quite amusing.
- Positivity or Negativity?
I think I was more negative during the past few months... I think that was another thing... I was hiding, from myself, that I was really slipping out of the light. That I really did do something that I swore never to allow again... I let the dark in....
You'll see some new changes here. I plan on continuing the recipes, wedding, positivity posts... But, I also would like to really start talking about what makes me go Hmmmm... What bothers me... I want to be alive and vulnerable in a way that I haven't been in a long time.
I'll probably change the layout too.. I think it's over due.
Tell me... You miss me?
Because I have missed all of you.
Come back and check in on me in a day or so... I bet you'll see a lot new reads and things...
~Love all y'all.