People Just as Crazy as Me

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

I have no reason to feel ashamed

It's no news to any of you, that I lost a considerable amount of weight... quickly.
50 lbs in 5 months? That's kind of a big deal.

Recently, I started adding a lot of weight and strength training into my morning fitness routines.

Mondays and Wednesdays are reserved for Cardio (oh, how I love to run) and Core Training.
Tuesdays and Thursdays are reserved for the Weights and the Strength.
My "Rest Day" is on Fridays, and the weekends are comprised of new exercises/machines/etc. at our local YMCA. Sometimes we'll go Saturdays and Sundays... sometimes only one of the weekend days. But, we make a conscious effort to be there.
ALL OF US... Even Emry, and my father!

I've also started to embrace the spiritual aspect of this healthy journey. As I wrote briefly about, I have been taking a seminar at work called: BOD4GOD.

It is 12 week, book and dvd program that was created by Pastor Steve Reynolds. The focus of this, is not a SUPER DIET, but a SUPER LIFESTYLE. It teaches you how to trust yourself, and to live the right way... It does this by adding a spiritual element in. Come on, no news there, it's called BOD4GOD, after all! At it's basics, it's getting healthy so you can be a better follower of the Almighty. 

We all know that I have, a different relationship with the Man (or woman or energy force) upstairs. I have belief that something is above me. And that's very important. However, there are different concepts of organized religion that I feel are self serving, and not true to life. 

I take the principles of this seminar... and I see the big picture in it. The use bible verses, as mantras... that help you power through.. To know that you are STRONGER than the temptation for the foods that are weighing you down. Stronger, than the false comfort that the junk provides. That exercise is important, and effective if done safely. That personal greatness is achievable. 

We are in "Teams" at work.. based on where we work in the building. Not my favorite people, but, I think another part of living a Healthy Lifestyle, is in fact, being healthy inside and out. I need to learn to love and accept the people who don't like me. I need to realize that even though these people see me in a bad light, it doesn't mean that I need to see them in the same light, or treat them like they treat me. I can be a good person, even if they aren't.

Now, all of this leads up to the title 

Last week, I weighed 128.2 pounds. Now, if you've been with me for a while, you'll know that my ultimate goal for weight was 130 lbs. That I reached that weight on August 2013. So, another 2.2 pounds would take my complete weight loss to 52.2 pounds. 

Do I want to be smaller weight? Well, no, not exactly.. It kind of just happened. The weight and strength training is making me more lean, and I am losing more fat... so, of course I'm losing a little. 
I know that soon, this weight loss will be replaced with muscle mass. I'm starting to notice it. I figure, I'll keep losing until the fat is pretty much gone. Not that there's much.. But, my body seems to be effectively and slowly transforming. 

We weigh in tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure that I'll be a little less than I was last week... Not much.. maybe a pound? At the most? 

Here's the problem though...No It's not a problem.. but I'll get there.

People are making comments. Not the people in my "Team"... but, people from other teams.. people around my office. 

Look how SMALL you are!
You are SO tiny!
You're EATING, right?
That's ALL you're eating?
It must be nice to be able to wear ANYTHING you want!

Now, just reading the words, some of these may be considered compliments. I can assure you, that some of them are probably meant that way... but others... well.. they are meant to be hurtful, because of jealousy or envy... 

And, I have been getting really self conscious.

I took a 2 month (almost 3 month) blogcation... From being overwhelmed, and scared about writing things down. I lost who I was for a while. 

Now, that I'm back on track.. Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually, Physically... I don't want to fall away again. I see what happens when I let the dark in... It's not pretty, and I don't like who I am.

SO... to stop the comments... started wearing bigger clothing. 
I can only go so far with the bottoms.... But, I still own about 6 or 7 dress shirts that are sized a Large (or Size 12)......... Currently, I am fitting into a Small (or Size 4) dress shirt... So, putting the baggy on top seemed to hide what I'm working with.

Then I realized... today actually... That I am just a Healthy Girl HIDING.... because she is ASHAMED of being... HEALTHY AND FIT?!?! Errrrrrrrrr........... How messed up is THAT?!

No more.
I don't go out of my way to dress provocatively... Heck, I work for a Christian Organization, I am always dressed modestly here.

But, I will no longer HIDE WHAT I AM WORKING WITH. 
I want people to see the toned arms, lean physique and I want them TO REMEMBER in their heads what I USED to look like. I want the questions and the comments to come...

I want to tell people how STRONG I FEEL... HOW HAPPY I AM... How losing this 52.2 pounds was a MAJOR GAME CHANGER... How, I found an even closer relationship with WHATEVER RULES FROM ABOVE.... How I found out how wonderful it feels to be active with my family. want them to see ME.
And even if after I show them my light, my confidence, my journey through my excitement... Even if after, they go and think/say horrible things about me... At least I know that I tried to positively motivate them... So they can truly embrace this type of change. And love themselves! 

I have no reason to be ashamed. And neither do any of you.
Whether you are losing weight, gained some back, Lost a bunch, Gained a bunch... As long as you are motivated to be healthy and happy... No one gets the right to point their finger at you.

Let's do the best we can.
Let's make positive steps EVERY DAY.

Can I get an Amen?

OH.. You may have noticed a new Link on the top Left of my space.

Liz @ Fitness BlondieFitness Blondie, a new blog I am following, does a little get together called "Hump Day Blog Hop"!
I found a bunch of great new blogs to read, and a lot of new positive bloggers!
Go check it out.. and Join in!


  1. Amen lady! Becoming healthy and fit is a HUGE accomplishment and you should never feel bad just because others wish they had your strength and perseverance. People belittle your success because they are jealous. Keep your light shining!

  2. Congrats on the weight loss. The comments that aren't supportive need to just roll off your back girl. Sometimes they are just unhappy with their own journey. Stay strong, be yourself!