People Just as Crazy as Me

Thursday, January 16, 2014

2 Hours

You know you get up way too early in the morning when... You sleep through your alarm for 2 hours and still get to work on time.

Yeah... no workout today...But, I feel... very rested.

The Almighty, Whatever is above us.... Said "YOU shall SLEEP."
And I did.

I feel better today.
Yesterday wasn't awful....


I have nothing weighing me down today....

And, I'm not going to look for any reason to take away this... better mood.

I have acquired entertainment for our wedding.... and are currently looking for photographers....

That is a story... for a different post....

Be well.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Lemons Lemonade....

I have nothing to write.
I am dumbfounded...
I am lost... I am ...


***here comes the explosion**

I am utterly done.
I cried myself to sleep AGAIN....
I am not built for this...
It's just a little too much...
I couldn't even eat... I had, ready for this 4 mini sweet peppers dipped in hummus.. and a couple chunks of pineapple... THAT ISN'T A FREAKING DINNER... That's pathetic.

I woke up hungry...
I woke up unmotivated...
I looked at the elliptical and sobbed.... so I walked on the treadmill... with a steep incline... and then... I ran for a little... but not long...

I went to chapel service, and tried to hear a message... Tried to throw it up to whatever is above us... Give me a hint dude, I know you're there somewhere.... HELP ME....

I'm sure I got his voicemail.... he'll call back.... eventually.

I really really wish that I could figure this out.

I think what was making me stronger was the knowledge.... that Klay was on my side with this whole Mom thing...

Well.. he is... and he isn't... and he was the one making the fuss with me.... and now... I can't even talk about it.

Then, while he was spewing his opinion out of his mouth.. he called me girlfriend.... and I know that was because of quick verbal mouth diarrhea... but, I still... I still was shocked.... and I know it's just a word... but, it took all my strength not to harp on it....

And I didn't.


Then, I get this nonsense at work...

Why is it.. that people....
 There is someone at work, who has been going around... telling the entire world that she had a miscarriage....
Now, this is an awful thing, for any woman....

But she is... well....
No one believes her.

And so, I think she wanted someone on her side... so she started to tell me ALL THE FUCKING DETAILS....

but, of course, that made me distrust the information even more...

Due to...personal reasons, and the fact that her description and time table don't line up with what she says she is experiencing...

But, because I have no strength and no want to call her on it...
I listened...
I told her she'd be okay...
And... well....

that was it...

But, i was utterly tired from the conversation... not having it with her... but with trying not to overly question what she was saying... and make the conversation last any longer than it PHYSICALLY HAD TO.

I have had to re do reports today.. because my boss released these notifications for things that happened LAST MONTH... but, no, of course that couldn't be said BEFORE I did the reports. That be THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

Everything is spilling over into this cup of depression I have...
Everything is bothering me right now...

And that's not good.
And I am trying to breathe through it...
I'm trying to remember that in the darkest times... there is light... You just got to push through.. and get there...

Life is bumpy
Life is messy.
Not all rainbows and butterflies....

I'm just tired.

Maybe it's a sign... maybe I need to make a change....

But, what...

You... know I hope the Almighty checks the voicemail soon... I got questions that need answering

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I shouldn't be surprised

Yesterday, after working a jam packed day, and writing an amazing vent filled post, tasty healthy meal choices... and a decent workout... I felt good.

I caught myself genuinely smiling and laughing when I was home.

I was hopeful,  maybe I only needed one day to get out of this funk....

Good Morning, it's Tuesday, and consider me still FUNKED.
(See, what I did there? Meh, I thought it was funny.)

I woke up feeling the world crashing down just as hard as I thought it was yesterday.

I shouldn't be surprised.
I was hopeful.. but I wasn't being reasonable.

For something that has been building for a while now... It should have known, that it be longer than a day to kick.

Like cigarettes.. people have a problem quitting those too....

Depression is my version of a pack of Marlboro Reds...

I got up, looked at myself, and said... Yup, I know you're there.... Do things that make us happy.

Working out makes me happy... So I did that again. Sweat and Cried it out... Again.
I was really lucky, that once again, no one was in the gym during this. The second I was done with the grueling up hill battle of the Elliptical Kilimanjaro (which I find to be symbolic actually).... I started my cool down exercises... and THEN someone walked in.

There is a God, because I would hate to hear the rumors that could start... "You see that chick.. she cries while she works out."

I'm not crying because I hate what I am doing... I'm not crying that it hurts... It is hard... so I may be slightly crying because I am pushing myself... But, as the elliptical builds resistance... and as I start to run up that mountain (figuratively speaking)... I envision the things I am trying to get around...
The things that I feel are holding me down. And I think, if I can finish this... If I can get to the top... The whole way down will look better.

Does it work? Sort of.
But, I cry (not sob, but really tear up) while I get further into the cycle.

If I were a swimmer.... I'd swim this out. Use the water as a literal interpretation of the waves crashing down on me... and push through it....

But, I'm not a great swimmer... I have a mean backstroke... and dead man's float... even a breast stroke... But, just freestyle... Not my strongest thing...

Moving on... I got lost in translation there...

The funny thing of my morning... That made me laugh...

Was over my breakfast, which was one of those new flavors of Dannon Blends. Chocolate Raspberry flavored. TOTAL YUM... However, being as which this is the first time I tried it... I open it... and
Well, I was thinking it was going to be pink...I'm not sure why I didn't think it be brown... But it was, and it surprised me... So much that I exclaimed, "WHAT THE WHAT?" Out loud.
And then cautiously ate the first bite. I don't have reaction to chocolate pudding... or chocolate milkshakes... why did I have such a weird reaction to BROWN COLORED YOGURT.

I giggled at it.

I should have paced myself yesterday, because today, my work load is a little light, so it's making the time go slower... And the work I do have... is making me angry... SO, I'm ignoring it out of spite.
I'll get to it eventually.

This is another part of this depression stage I'm in.. I am either totally down to demolish something (work, exercise, a meal) or completely MEH about it...

I am good enough.... I am good enough...

I did sleep through the night.. No nightmares to speak of... or that I remember....

I really wanted to pick up my guitar last night. I had it planned.. You know?
Did it happen?
Nope... but watching (read: sleeping to) Bakery Boss did....

I'll try again tonight...

I've made myself a promise, that the second that others try to pressure me, or stress me out, that I am going to let them know.

"**SUCH AND SUCH** is stressing me out. Let's please change the subject."

I'm hoping that will eliminate most of the personal conversations... and people starting them... That are only engaged to bring me down or make me feel inferior.... Or simply as manipulation to get their own way.

 I hope this works.
Because, this morning... It did.

Why is it that some people are NOT interested in how you're doing.. but ONLY want to see how the PRESSURE is making you react. The people that smile at you when you are clearly stressed out... and continue a conversation that obviously makes you uncomfortable. Or... they try to talk about it from a different angle... It makes me nuts. But, I am really overly touchy right now.

I did bring a little makeup with me today.
So I don't look completely like a drowned pale rat....

I almost didn't.
I said, Oh, I'll start that next week. That sort of thinking is what got us into this mess... So, I told myself to fuck off and grab the necessary two things.

BB cream and Mascara. (I already carry a variety of lip glosses with me. Not on purpose. There is the one in my purse... the one on my desk... the one in my gym bag.... the one in my console of my car.... It's more for handy use)

And I don't think I look so awful... Just more... even toned...

I took pride in my appearance as well.. and paired a lovely white cable knit sweater over a black polo shirt... With some slate colored pants.. I look preppy... but, I'm not hating that so much.

Kindness makes me smile.
One of the ladies I work with, secretly, gave me two awesome jackets. She heard of my brokeness and the fact that I have no clothes that really fit me.. so I've been juggling the same 5 things over and over. And that I recently got a whole shitload of new stuff... but, Still... no casual stuff.. so my weekends are hard... She did this secretly because she hasn't donated to any other "causes" in this building. But, she likes me I think... and she is a sweet person. I'll keep her secret. She is being kind to me... and that was unexpected. She says she has more stuff... and I don't expect it to come my way... but will be equally overjoyed with the kindness.

10:30... hour and a half to lunch.... 5 hours 20 minutes until I leave....

Say something or I'm giving up on you... Really a cheesy song.. but the melancholy of the minor chords and the haunting singing... oddly done by Christina Aguilera... Resonates....

Need to work...

Monday, January 13, 2014

I am... a liar.. a big fat LIAR

Remember, when I took a break from blogging, because the holidays and work and yada yada yada...

That was a lie.

Remember when I said I was getting back on track... Well.... That was a lie...

Remember when I was being all positive last week and then got sick... WELL, that's sort of the truth, except for the positive part... I was kind of sick.


In the head.

No, I'm not insane... not more so than usual...

I am really freaking depressed, and I am tired of hiding it. 
I put on a smile for the people at work... the people at home.... the friends I have.... 

The karate school staff.... The checkout people at the super markets... 

I lie..
About how I am feeling... 

And I have been doing this... oh... since the middle of December... Maybe even sooner, but I wasn't conscious of it until the middle of December.

It started kind of like this pulling. 
This pulling that was sucking all the ... sparkle out of a normal day.

It became hard to type thoughts... It became hard to focus on my work...
It became hard to smile... to work out (even though I did)...

Food became comforting...
I began to lie to myself...

I began to have to really push my workouts just to keep my weight in check.
Which, in turn, made me really hate working out.
Made me NOT want to do it in the morning.

Then I had 2 five day weekends from work (One between Christmas and the Other between New years)... Literally, I was only in work 2 days a week... for 2 weeks. 

This made it even easier not to workout, which I had started to hate... and so much easier to say Yes, to every food item in sight.

I promised myself.. I would get back on track. I set new goals.... I want to be 125 or a size smaller by February 19th... remember? 

Is that going to happen... I'm going to try... 

But, after I got sick... aka: my depression hit an all time high, and I got really really lost in it... I am exactly where I started... so I really... really.... need to focus.

I need to find my zest.

I need to find the drive.

Where did this come from?
I really think it's a culmination of things...

My sister hasn't been well... Her fragile nature took a turn for the worse, and well... Thanksgiving and New Years... she was.... Not reachable. That's the easiest and most delicate way to put that.... She was safe, and being taken care of... Just, someplace without phone access.... Let's leave it at that.

It makes me really sad that my sister is... where she is right now. It makes me even sadder that there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. 

It hurts that I can't share with her these amazing things, and it hurt me that I thought that I couldn't be all "Girly Engaged Chick" with her.... because I thought my happiness would be... Too much?

So, I got very upset... that it was like I didn't have a sister... I had no one to gush with. My mom is insane, and we don't speak to her... but, my sister is the one I am supposed to be able to turn to.
Confide in.. and she's not... and that's something I have to deal with... and usually do deal with... But, not this time...

I let it pull me down.

Then there is the fact that we are planning this entire wedding... That is a JOYOUS thing.. Right?
Well, between his mother being over bearing, and starting panic with HER list.. which she shouldn't even HAVE... and then with her completely pulling the "I'm a crazy bitch card" and shutting down and ignoring me for half a week... That didn't help either.

But, in between that... 

There is stuff with me... in me... that isn't... Ringing right...

I feel as if I am off kilter.. as if I am losing steam... As if, I am becoming dependent on this lifestyle.

I love how helpful my fiance is, but, I am scared that I rely on him too much... And, I can't get over my feeling of impending abandonment... I need faith, I need hope,..... I need to trust in what I have... and I'm so lost.. that I can't do that... I AM LOST... and I really wish that I could find my way out of this darkness....

It is making me very sick.

I knew I had gotten to a point, where I had gone too far down.. to far into the darkness, when I found myself TRYING to pick a fight with Klay... when I was allowing myself to be OVERLY sensitive.. and thus letting things get to me. 

I decided, that I was done... That even if I couldn't figure out how to fix it... I would LEAVE it behind anyway. I am sad. I am depressed... but I am not going to let it win.

That is what I am going for.

I went out on Sunday, and I replenished my healthy food... I will not eat any more of the comfort crap in the cupboards. I will leave that for the other people of the house.

I knew this was the right thing to do this morning... (the needing to move on from the depression)... when I hit a pot hole on the ride to work... and SCREAMED at the air... "WHAT THE FUCK IS IT TODAY?!?!?!?!" Mind you, nothing happened... it was 530a... Nothing else had happened, and I'm already screaming? And then I sobbed, because I knew how close I am to the breaking point. This cemented the fact that I need to bulk up... and move on... And up... Back into the light where I belong.

I am not going to try and structure my workouts.. I am going to go to the gym and just DO what the mood strikes me... The same amount of time in the gym.. but with a Come What May Exercise regimen. 

Today I did a Level 3 Kilimanjaro Mountain on the Elliptical... and I cried my way through it. Half figurative - Half literal on this description... I'm sure I'll feel it tomororw....

I did other cardio, aerobic, and weight training.. But, it was kind of like... What do I do now? 
I felt good after... And I totally let the heavy bag have it... to the point where the only other person in the gym (who wasn't there for the elliptical crying, thank goodness) peaked in and said... I thought there was something wrong with the bass on the TV... it's just you.... (Oops... lots of aggression I suppose).

I still feel... meh... today, but I am making a conscious effort to not let it win.
I went to prayer meeting this morning at work, and I asked for everyone to pray for my sister... and in turn they also prayed for me... because it was obvious that I needed it to.

I am going to start taking more pride in my appearance. I have an amazing body now, and even in work clothes, I should be able to show how happy THAT makes me. 
So, instead of looking like a drowned, pale rat... I am planning on bringing a little makeup with me to work... so I look alive... and I'm going to bring a hair dryer or something with me... so that my hair isn't always this limp nothingness. 

I am going to focus on the things in my life that bring me joy. 
I am going to focus on the people who bring me joy.
I also want to use that light.. that sparkle, to try and give joy to those who need it.
My sister, for one, even though she probably doesn't want it.. I'm going to try and give her as much reason to smile as possible....
Make it my mission to be her RAY of SUNSHINE!

I hope with this, I will NOT be a liar anymore..

That I can return to who I am...
Not who I was turning in to.

So, I am sorry to have lied.

And, please, understand if I post some dark out looks or ranting posts like this...

I need it....


Friday, January 10, 2014

Stress makes me Sick... quite literally

Off and On... more On than Off.... I have been getting sick.

It starts in my stomach, and then spirals out everywhere else.

I have begun that spiral.

My joints hurt, my stomach gets queasy and then ODDLY hungry... I'm hot, I'm cold... I'm breaking out like a teenager....

And no, I'm not pregnant.
Believe you, me.. I am not....

I've noticed that this starts around a stressful instance...

And with the recent Wedding Drama.... It is safe to say, I found the reason for my sickness....


Getting back on track with life.... exercise...... eating.....
HALTED, due to the way I am feeling.

This stinks.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Wedding #3 - It's OUR wedding 

This is my soon to be Mother in Law. Well, that's not true... She doesn't look anything like this. But, what you should be seeing is the Bat Shit Crazy Expression... That's all the future M.I.L. 

Okay, I am still going over the line... and being hypercrtical.

Klay's monster mother, is a nice lady. She accepted Emry and I from day 1. She has always treated us like family. And, I know she loves me. I know it. 

Now, that we're planning a wedding... I am noticing... a large.... Italian Mother in Law PUSH... from his mom....

Ok, here's what happened:

It started when we got engaged, literally 48 hours later, "Have you set a date BECAUSE...."

And the excuses have gone up to recently....

  1. Klay's brother and wife might be relocated (she is a doctor for the army), and they need a lot of notice.... (Mind you, Klay's brother said it would be worked out either way, that she was being insane, and that they didn't care WHEN we did our wedding. They would be there.)
  2. Klay's brother and wife (same people as #1) are expecting a baby in April, so we should do it around then either.
  3. (When she found out we wanted a fall wedding) To make sure that we planned around the events at the Veteran's hall that they VOLUNTEER at. (I am not joking.)
  4.  She has a BUNCH of people that need inviting, so she needs to know when it is.

Let's discuss #4, and how really upset it makes me. Now, I'm not sure if we've discussed our budget, but we are only inviting 100 people. Whoever shows from that number, is who comes to our wedding. This number also has to include whoever is working our wedding (ie: musicians/DJ and photographer). 

Another reason we are only inviting 100 people, is anymore, and we would not ENJOY our wedding. The venue is gorgeous: from the gardens to the reception area. If I can't enjoy that... I don't want to do it there. By keeping our guest list small... we can have an intimate affair. With people who we truly enjoy the company of. 

Now, I'm not being unreasonable at all. I have a list started, and Klay is working on his. Some of his list may include people that she has on her *cringe* list. 
We are inviting family and friends from both sides... 
But, there are and I am taking this quote directly from a conversation with his mother:

"friends and family of ours (who may not necessarily know you guys), who would be hurt if we do not invite."

Yup, that's a direct quote from a facebook conversation. 

I'm sorry, Friends and Family of "ours", who may not know Klay... WHAT TYPE OF FAMILY OR FRIENDS OF THEIRS DO NOT KNOW THEIR SON??????????? 

Does this seem stupid? or is it just me?

Also: How are these people going to be "hurt", if they NEVER know this event occurs?


Also: what if we decided right freaking now, that we only wanted our IMMEDIATE family? and Just did the ceremony at the venue? and went to a kick ass dinner there? What if we only decided to invite 20 PEOPLE TOPS? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?????

Would these people still be hurt if it was a SUPER INTIMATE AFFAIR?

And, I'm sorry... as Klay said last night, "What do I care about people who I have NEVER met?" 

And at the end of the day.. that is ALL that matter.

We are entertaining her list, but, when it comes down to the basics....

No one gets invited that we aren't comfortable with.

Am I wrong?
Am I being the one unreasonable? 

I mean, I could show you the ENTIRE conversation with her, and let you be the one to decide.

I am much calmer today, than I was yesterday. 
So, I think I could entertain constructive feedback on this one... just a little. :)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Eyes on the Prize - 1 month 1 week 5 days to go

When I came back from my extended break, I let y'all know that I was planning on being my BEST WEIGHT by February 19, 2014. 

That is 1 month 1 week and 5 days away.

If you remember:

"February 19, 2014 - exactly one year since I started my journey to healthy... I want to be either 1 dress size smaller or 10 pounds lighter. This would put me in a comfortable Size 4 or at 125 pounds."

Well, let's see, I am currently have 8 more pounds to go. However, I am noticing that my muffin top area is getting more firm, and my legs are getting an intense workout 5-6x a week. 

My plan is that each week, I focus on a different target area, with different exercises. 

This week: All about the Butt and Legs.

I have been doing the following:

  • 1 hour (sometimes a little more, but no more than 75 minutes) of treadmill:
    I usually run a 5k first (my standard time on this is 33 minutes and 10 seconds) and then I use the Mountain climber feature for about 22 minutes (Intensity 10, Speed Brisk Walk 3.7mph) and then do a cool down of 5 minutes. If at the end of my workout, I still feel the need to run, I'll do another 10-15 minutes.

Then I do the following circuit of exercises:

  • 20 squats (10 of them with 14 pounds of weight and 10 without)
  • 20 sumo squats (10 with weight 10 with out)
  • 20 lunges (10 with weight, 10 without)
  • 80 Jumping Jacks (see below for embarrassing reason this is crossed out)
  • 20 leg raises *per leg*
  • 50 second wall sit
  • 100 crunches on an exercise ball
  • 20 Ball passes (passing an exercise ball from your hands to your feet.. bringing each to the ground and raising it back up)
  • 5 minutes on heavy bag (various punch combinations) - just for variation and to give my legs a little rest
  • Stretch everything below my belly button.


If by that point, I still want to do a little extra.. this is when I take on the extra 10-15 minutes worth of running... Today was more of a brisk jog... 

Now.. Why am I not doing jumping jacks.

Well, I thought yesterday morning was a fluke... Ugh, I didn't tell you about yesterday morning... Okay.. Ready for the most EMBARRASSING conversation ever.

I am super glad that I bring a complete change of clothes with me to work (top to bottom). That needs to be said first. 

So, I'm working out. I had a great run. . . I am averaging just under 6 miles a day this week. . . I do the squats followed by the sumo's then the lunges... and then... I start jump jacking.

About 60 in... I realize.... Oh man, I am actually going to type this:

I realized that I had to pee.. REALLY bad, and before I had a chance to land from my last jumping jack... I started to go.

I said it... I pee'd.

I hate being a mom sometimes! Ever since I had Emry, I have found that my... ability to hold pee.. is impossible, so, if I have to go... I HAVE TO GO.. you know? You can do exercises to strengthen that... but, they've never worked, and my Lady Doctor said and this is a loose quotation "You're screwed."  (she may have not said those words, but her meaning was that I was SOL, without a paddle... for my piddle. Just saying.)

Well, I was really embarrassed, as you can tell! 
But, so grateful I was alone in the gym. 

So, I had to stop what I was doing... run to the locker room, grab my other set of workout clothes (and clean underwear.. ugh, what am I POTTY TRAINING?) And throw the dirty stuff in my "to be washed" bag)
And I went back to finish my workout.

So... I figured, in my head, with all this widsom *sarcasm*... perhaps I should have used the ladies room before I started my workout. And I was going to test this when I got home.

FAST FORWARD TO LAST NIGHT: Klay takes Emry to karate. I use the bathroom... and I make sure that my bladder is as EMPTY as PHYSICALLY possible. I wait a couple minutes, and I begin to do Jumping Jacks... at about 40 in.. I got the... FEELING... so I ran to the bathroom, and low and behold... TA-DA... *slaps forehead*....

So.. Obviously Jumping Jacks mess with my muscular control.... So.. No more of those for me.

There I go.. Embarrassing story of the day....  I'm sure you also have a workout fiasco you are not to proud of either... So, find this empowering and SHARE YOURS!

So, back to the point, I have 1 month 1 week and 5 days to achieve my goal.   
You think I can do it?

Monday, January 6, 2014

Wedding #2 - Date and the Freakout

Mark Them Calendars!!!!

OCTOBER 5, 2014

And here it comes... the freakout...

I HAVE 9 MONTHS to do this... AM I FREAKING NUTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

It's looking like we are going to invite about 100 people.. and now Klay's mom is coming in with a list of her own... which, if she had ANYTHING financially to do with this, I would entertain, but honestly... WTF!?!?!?!?!??! I told her we would try to fit them... and if we could we would... but otherwise... you know.. It ain't happening sister!!!!

And my attempt at cutting down costs... well that means EXTRA WORK... DIY'ing centerpieces, and favors and.... INVITATIONS...


Now.. the cool down.

The first thing, I am honestly focusing on, is drawing up a guest list, and determining what our invitations should look like.

And I will move from there...

Every month, I need to accomplish a little bit of this fiasco wedding planning.


The theme is Rustic... and I am thinking of Burlap and Stuff at the moment...

Please stay tuned for a post about invitations... and how I determine who makes the list... you know... for this AWESOME (and overwhelming) event!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Wedding #1 - The Venue

Klay and I had 3 choices in mind for where we wanted our wedding... They all met specific requirements, before we even saw them:
  1. Beautiful Outdoor Space for a lovely fall ceremony
  2. A reception room with class and rustic charm
  3. Amazing packages for us... because we deserve a little SPARKLE. 

Now, the three places we looked at were...
  1. Mohonk Mountain House - New Paltz, NY
  2. Catlin Gardens - Slate Hill, NY
  3. The Woodloch - Hawley, PA

I need to be very honest about this, and I hope that someone reads this one day and is SAVED...

Catlin Gardens was our FIRST CHOICE, I almost didn't need to see it... but am SO glad we did.
When we made our first appointment to see it, I left a message. This call was returned promptly, and the appointment was set. The appointment was THEN confirmed, and due to snow, I gave them my cell #, just in case anything should pop up. But, I was told by them, "We aren't afraid of a little snow." And honestly, neither was I. 

Day of our 1st appointment: The roads were slick, but not impossible... we get there, and the receptionist looked SHOCKED. She had left a message she said, even though I had nothing. The wedding planner, Stephanie, never wrote down the cell information I provided her, and the receptionist left the message on my WORK PHONE.... yeah, big help, but mistakes do happen. However, no Wedding Planner, No appointment, 1st Strike in Klay's book.
The receptionist, who also books the rooms for weddings, Anne, was super helpful, and is the only real asset of this company. She showed us EVERYTHING, when she didn't have to. The only thing she couldn't give us was prices, and assured us that we would make a 2nd appointment with Stephanie and we could go over all of the prices. 

The day before the 2nd appointment, around 3p, I realize I never got a confirmation call. Something felt amiss... so I took the liberty of calling myself, to confirm the appointment. Insert a new receptionist, who said, and I quote "OH?! NO ONE CALLED YOU! That isn't going to work, we will have to reschedule, Stephanie is out this weekend, for a family emergency" I twitched, and I was sitting at my office chair with my cell and office phone close... no freaking call. I was more than a little upset, but kept my composure. I asked for a price list, I had already scene the venue, and the holidays are rough for everyone... just send me the price list.

Christmas came and went, no price list emailed (I provided that too), no apology. December 27th, Anne emails me. I really do like Anne... And promises to set up an appointment, NOT WITH STEPHANIE, but with another Wedding Planner Chic. I told her that if they were going to win us over it had to be THAT COMING WEEKEND, and that was because we wanted to have picked a place by January 1st. (Note: We started this ordeal with them on December 3rd). She assured me we would get an appointment... Only to be told the next day that the NEW wedding planner could only meet with us on January 5th. I asked for a price list again, and said we would base our decision on that. 

Price list was emailed, I was pretty shocked... The prices for what we would be provided, weren't AWFUL... but... not impressive. And I was weary to give them any money at all... considering the customer service THUS far. I was very polite and emailed Anne back and told her we wouldn't be going with them. 

I then read some reviews, as I should have done first... And found some equally horrid claims, and basically, I know it would have gone downhill and that I wouldn't have enjoyed my wedding at all.. And Klay would have gotten super pissed.... SO... BEWARE... Just saying. 

Place #2: The Woodloch. 

Beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful. The packages are reasonable... and listed on the website if you search carefully. The staff answered the phone, and set the appointment, and even gave detailed directions. Now, we were dealing with Catlin Gardens while being courted by the Woodloch. So, I was not in the best mood for people who do not CONFIRM appointments, and force me to do so. I just thought it was inconsiderate. The Woodloch, did not confirm our appointment, and thus I took it as a sign, and we didn't even GO there to see it from the Wedding Planners eyes. I did cancel my appointment, so I wasn't that "BRIDE TO BE".

(I get it.. a lot of people look at wedding venues... and about half of them probably do not book. Basic rules of business apply. You set an appointment? You call to confirm with your customer base.)

Venue #3 (and obviously the place we picked): Mohonk Mountain House

Mohonk was our dream venue, both of us... It's gorgeous... but, if you've ever heard anything about the place... it's EXPENSIVE. But, it's a quality that is unparalleled.. by anything in the area. We really only went there just to see it. I'm not going to lie... We were really banking on Catlin Gardens... But, we just wanted to dream a little. 

We made the appointment with Christina, and she confirmed the appointment, even though she got my sob story about the other venue leaving us high and dry twice... But, assured me we would see each other. She is a very calm, quiet woman. We almost didn't want to meet with her, because she sounded un-enthused about the whole thing. But... after meeting with her, we determined that she is a lovely woman.. just quiet and subdued. 

We have hiked MANY times up in the Minnewaska Area, and are both familiar with the trails that surround Mohonk. We have eaten there 3 times.. and know the quality of their Chefs. The rooms for the receptions are LOVELY... Rustic and Have AMAZING views... Very inviting. 
The only thing we weren't looking forward to, was the pricing. And much to my surprise... The prices were CLOSE (give or take $10/head and an extra $100 for the ceremony grounds fee) to Catlin Gardens. Klay and I had this moment of, HOLY SHIT, THIS IS DOABLE.... And they are so flexible about what you could do, and what is provided, and things can be mixed and matched. They make the cake on site, by their own Bakery staff... and if you give them a picture, they can GIVE YOU WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR... The ceremony, well, if you haven't guessed, is held in the gardens outside (weather permitting)... and oh, that's the above picture... JUST saying. We were floored... We were excited. If the weather is awful, they hold it in the parlor... which, is equally as impressive.
Stolen from Google and thus

We left there knowing we would pick them... but, knew we had to discuss it further.. just to get a plan about HOW we would do this... And not to seem too eager (I know we're really weird).

So, there is my review for the above wedding venues, and it is safe to say that we should have given the Woodloch, the benefit of the doubt, but, I'm glad we didn't waste the trip. 

Dream Venue ACHIEVED.

I am one happy Bride to Be!


Let's Kick Off the New Year Right!

Hello Blogiverse! 

Did you miss me? I'm sure you did... if you didn't... Then why are you reading this? Go away.
Ha. Just kidding.

My month (or so) off has been very therapeutic, and I hope to have a GAZILLION posts for this New Year. (That might not be super accurate, but, that's the hope.)

Our holiday was relaxing and stress free. Which, as far as Holidays go... Is a true blessing. 

I am proud to say that I did not go over my max. goal weight during the holidays, and have set a new goal.

By February 19, 2014 - exactly one year since I started my journey to healthy... I want to be either 1 dress size smaller or 10 pounds lighter. 

This would put me in a comfortable Size 4 or at 125 pounds.

Honestly, I am looking more for the Size 4.. then the weight. I plan on upping my weight training, and doing workouts structured on getting me MORE in shape and toned. 

Because, in my mind, what's the fun of being in shape, if you still look all FLABBY in a bathing suit? Not that I'm flabby, I'm actually a lot tighter than I give myself credit for. BUT: doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement. 

So... 1 month 17 days... To lose a dress size or 10 pounds. I'll be interested to see what happens. 

I plan on posting the different workouts I am doing, which exercises, and hopefully some pictures.

That's another BLOGOLUTION (resolution for this blog, come on people, stay with me here)... To actually POST some pictures. I always say I am going to, and I simply DON'T. 

And that is UNACCEPTABLE... it really isn't, but if I am stern with myself, maybe just maybe I'll get this one done.

Going on with this "Kicking off 2014 Right"... I also plan on doing a LOT of posts about wedding planning. Have we set a date yet? Well, actually, today we will set the date.. and it's looking like THIS fall... So, I have about 9 months to plan and organize a DIY wedding. We have to DIY a lot of this, because we picked a fantastic venue... and well, that's going to cost us a lot. Let me say that again.. it is going to cost A LOT. Holy crud, I can't even tell you. . . . But, it is worth it. However, I almost wish that I knew someone with a BARN or GARDENS... Because.... What is more pretty than an outdoor FALL wedding? That's right.. Absolutely nothing... (Well, except your wedding Brit.. and Aunie... but you know what I mean)
I have a Pinterest board set up for wedding ideas (I know, I swear I never would... but I did... so shoot me.) So, I hope to be able to share with you our ideas, and how they translate out... So glad we have that office space downstairs... That is where I plan on Storing most of the DIY stuff... Have to figure out a way to keep the cats out of that room... without trapping moisture in there though.. Our downstairs is basically under the ground, so lots of moisture collects in the office... Meh... I'll figure that out... Eventually. 

I am back, in FORCE.... be prepared to read your HEARTS out.

And, I hope to catch up on most, if not all of my favorite blogs... However, a months worth of reading could be a lot... If you want to focus my attention, please post the links that are the most important!!! 

Live Love Laugh...

Missed you guys!