I get it, you have work to do - twice a year - you rely on one of my reports to help you obtain figures for something. Seriously, I'm with you - I know you need these things - HOWEVER:
My reports are done monthly, as you very well know - I cannot give you Septembers REPORT until SEPTEMBER IS OVER. Further more - I cannot give you the September Report until OTHER departments send my their FINAL figures for SEPTEMBER. My reports are usually released between the 7th and the 14th of the month.
This is because of the above reasons and that my supervisor likes to look over my AWESOME reports - and remember why it is she hired me. This takes a great deal of time, because, let's be honest, I am just THAT awesome.
I understand that I may have sent your psyche into overdrive when I told you there was a chance that the reports would not be published before I left the building for my MARRIAGE LEAVE - and now you feel the need to beg and plead for me to BULLY my boss into NOT taking 4-5 days to look at my report.
This is not happening.
I can give you a couple basic figures that are unchanged from last month - thus far, that is - however, I am unable to give you all the figures you NEED.
Do not call me again - and make it seem like the entire organization will shut down - if you do not have these figures before the 14th.
Please stop stressing me out.
I get it, you don't care that I'm getting married in 5 days - you care even less how much your DAILY phone call makes my stomach TURN and CLENCH.
Here's the deal bucko - you are not my boss - and honestly, you are unimportant to me. You are not the most IMPORTANT person in the building - and HONESTLY - I know my boss, when she hears about this, because OH MAN SHE IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT, is going to tell me that YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I GET BACK. Because there is no way shape or form that she is going to rush MY reports - because she loves reading my awesomeness THAT much - over HER REAL WORK.
I know this, and I keep trying to tell you. But you don't seem to hear me.
ALSO: You talking over me - when I am attempting to explain you the process - ISN'T SCORING YOU ANY FRICKING BROWNIE POINTS WITH ME.
I will talk to you like I talk to my 7-year old until you stop yammering about your nonsense.
So here's the deal - I know the figures you need now - And I will do my best to get you what I can before I leave - but, I pretty much guaran-freaking-tee that your boss is going to come to you and tell you to CALM THE HECK DOWN.
So - please - eat a bagel - put some cream cheese on that - Pumpkin Spice Latte too - CHILL OUT.
THIS IS HOW MY MORNING HAS BEEN
This morning, for breakfast, I had fantastic overnight oats - I have this smaller jam mason jar - and it's the perfect single serving size.
Quick Oats (trying to get rid of them)
Dried Cherries (a palm full)
Pumpkin Spice & Cinammon
Almond Coconut Milk (to cover everything)
It came out pretty delic - and it was just sweet enough without adding any extra sweetener! SCORE!
Last night was an epic race to beat the clock - or at least that is how it felt. Emry had soccer practice at 530p - so I had to pick him up at school, get him changed, then race over to the soccer field. We did our spelling homework in the car and then he had an hour of practice. After that - we had to race over to David's Bridals in order to drop my dress off to get steamed. And then I tried to see if they had fancy flip flops for my ladies - but alas - Size 5/6 and Size 7/8 flip flops are a hot commodity. I must find them elsewhere.
Once we got home it was 730'ish - Emry did his math and writing worksheets - then he hopped in the shower - then we studied for our Science test about weather - then Klay made him dinner - while I ran to the drug store to pick up some antacid for my belly. When I got home, Emry had already made it in bed - I put my vitamins together, packed my breakfast, lunch and snack - Cut up all the red peppers for easy snacking options and then I took a shower - drank a lot of water and BEGGED Klay to rub my spasming shoulders - Then bed.
I felt like I was in a race. To finish - ALL THE THINGS - before I dropped.
And to be honest, I forgot some.
And had to do them first thing this morning.
SIGHS - this week is already proving to be hectic - to say the least.
I am now at my desk - trying to get all my reports together to submit to my boss during our weekly meeting, and trying to find my "professional" words, so I can explain to her about the above "work dude".
So that's it for now!