People Just as Crazy as Me

Friday, May 29, 2015

Friday Favorites (5/29/15)

Happy Friday Friends -

Last night was such a lazy night. No karate, and yeah, there was housework to do - - but a night of hubby and I binge watching Penny Dreadful - PRICELESS. anyone watch Penny Dreadful on Showtime? The show is in it's second season, and it has Josh Hartnett in it - He is amazing eye candy, I have always thought so.

No, no Mr. Hartnett, one smile and I say yes.
Wait - - why does this look familiar.... Why am I so attracted to this?
Hmmmm.... OH yeah husband wears a similar outfit to our Steampunk adventures. mmmmmm Long haired men. Anyway, I digress.

 Let's recap this weeks favorite things - 


Yesterday, while looking for a lyric pic from "The Voice Within" I happened upon Christina Aguilera's entire Stripped album. Love her or hate her - that album was really big back in 2002... the year before I graduated High School - So, not going to lie, at work, I popped my earbuds in and streamed the entire album on YouTube.I mean, how many of these songs made the top 20? So - I geeked out on it. 

Has anyone tried these amazing bits of craisin awesomeness? A handful really gives me the sweetness and the crunch I need to satisfy a snack craving. I have the cranberry almond at home now, but I am going to see if I can find the Granola covered ones today when I go grocery shopping.  I highly recommend these.

This week, during one of our martial arts classes - we started class with 50 jumping jacks - without stopping - at a moderate pace. Now normally, after 20, I am ready to take a breather. But, I kept my head in the game, watched those trouble areas bounce in the mirror (motivation, duh) and pushed through all 50. No joke, I felt exhausted and impressed. Is this a little victory? Yes, but it's mine.


This one - you know what's going to happen - and you are still laughing.  


because I've read way too many Facebook diatribes this week 

And Turtles Vs. Cats....


Thursday, May 28, 2015

Thursday Thoughts - Doreen, who I *could* have been

*** DISCLAIMER: This is a heavy heavy post ***

Doreen is a woman I met while volunteering at the current B4G class. She is in her late 30's, maybe even early 40's and has an 11 year old son.

Doreen is a recovering methamphetamine user and is on the road to rebuilding her life. 

She is receiving help from the church, who helped her get into an condo, on the wrong side of town. 
On the side of town, that from my past I recall at least 4 drug dealers living on. 3 of which were in the condos where she is now living. 

She told me how frustrated she is - she has no money, does not work, and is fighting to give her son the life he deserves. But, you can see it in her eyes, she is drowning in despair. 

They tell her to give it all up to God, that he will provide. The trust is low though, so she keeps fighting to claw her way up - with as little help as humanly possible. 

She told me -  I do everything for my son. I'm trying to be better, so he can have better.

And that is when my heart broke. 
Doreen, is the woman, I could have been, quite easily. 

I look into her eyes, and I see myself - I see the life that, not so long ago (in the grand scheme of things) I had. 

I will always be in recovery. I am probably the small percentage of drug addicts, who went cold turkey, and never turned back. Without help, without a step program - I just stopped and due to spite (and hatred) of myself never went back. 

I need to note this - above I wrote I am probably... Well, I had to change the sentence. Originally, I wrote "drug users", I had to replace that with the word addict. I was an addict. 

I was a shell of the girl I grew up as, and a shattered fragment of the woman I am today.

So, I look into this woman's eyes, and I see it. I see me, I see all the pain I had. The confusion, and the fear... The fear of the unknown - The fear of where our next meal was going to come from - The fear that asking for help would result in my pride being wounded - and even worse, that danger would come in. 

All I wanted to do was help her. I just wanted to pull her in, and hug her. Tell her I knew - Open up my memories and just pour them out in front of her. Let her know, that she is not alone - that change is possible. I looked at her son, and I saw mine staring back at me.

Unable to go to camp - unable to pursue things he loves - all because they are too expensive. And his mother dying inside, because she is unable to give it to him. Being thrown in with the same kids who are already on the wrong path, just because of where they live - thus, being ignored by the kids more of his caliber. 

I envisioned my life like this. I envisioned how awful I was doing - and where it would lead to.

If you asked me, when I had Emry, where I thought I would be in 8 years - - I would have never even thought to tell you today's reality.

I would have never said - I will have a great career, a 9-5, with my own office. Own my own car and home - and be happily married. 

These things would have never seemed possible to me back then

I had told you that last Friday, a friend of mine came to talk about her Fit2Fight program - well, Doreen's son wants nothing more than to be in the children's classes. And they are within walking distance of their home. $90/month - She can't even swing it. She can't even begin to imagine where she could get the money for that, and afford it for the long run.

I want to give him this - now, we aren't that well off. We aren't broke - but, you know, we have just enough. But, still, I want to give Doreen's son this little luxury. 

My heart still breaks while I type this.

I told her, and I swear to God, I can't believe I said it - 
"If he wants this, see what you can afford, what you know you'll be able to swing each month - and let me help with the rest..." 

This woman didn't know what to say to me. I drove them home - to the ghetto, so they didn't have to walk the 2 miles - Told her that it wasn't a hand out, but I didn't want her to pay me back - just to consider it. If he really wanted it, let me just help. And one day, she'll be able to do it herself. 

She cried.
I cried

And she told me she would think about it. Which, I already know means "I can't let you do this for me". Because, that's exactly what I would have said, back then. But, I hope - and pray, that maybe she will let me. 

She has been on my mind all week. And while thinking about her, I remember who I was.

And, I can't help but feeling this is a sign - That it's time to start reciprocating the kindnesses I have been shown. Pay back karma a little. 

Life is a journey
There is no destination

And all of these thoughts - even though written on this page - are still whizzing through my head. 

Who she is
Who I could have been

Where I am
Where I could have been

Where she is
Where she could be

What my role in all of this truly is. 


That's the one sentence I come back to.

I just need a sign - to know what I am supposed to do in all of this. 

I just want to be the change... The change that I seek, and she so clearly needs.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Hashtags - Confessions - Funnies (5/27/15) Wednesday - in fact the last Wednesday in the Month of May. I mean seriously, when did that happen? #timekeepsslipping #intothefuture confess that I cried like a baby last night, and couldn't fall (and stay) asleep at all. Why? Well, Emry played a one sided game of Hide & Seek at the dojang - and I really, really thought that someone came in and kidnapped him. #iwishthatexperienceonnoone

When he was found, he instantly knew it wasn't funny, and he cried with me. I didn't know whether to shake him, beat him, love him, or shackle him to my side.... Scariest thing on this planet. #ihave20newgrayhairs #myheadis50shadesofgray #mommystress confess that all I had for dinner last night was a tiny lump of chicken salad, because stress and also because it's comfort food. #isitchickenorisitfish #poorjessicasimpson #nowiamstarving

I have no motivation to do anything today - and it's all dark, stormy & humid out - Can't I just spend the rest of the day at Barnes & Noble reading???? #nottoomuchtoask also confess - I didn't even attempt to pick up Raising Steam, and start reading it again. I tried yesterday, and I literally got a paragraph in, and just gave up. I love Terry Pratchett - all of the books I have read - this one, well, oh cheezus crust - It's BORING.  I know the geeks are now lighting torches and starting to mob towards me. #sorrynotsorry #notgivingitanothergo #itsnotyouitsme #canyoubreakupwithliterature, at lunch, I am probably just going to Barnes & Noble - taking the plunge - buying the E-Reader, and splurging. Because #emotionalshoppingisgoodforthesoul #beingdrunkatnoonisfrownedupon

Oh and a big confession - Do you know about the size 22 model, what's her name - - - - Tess Holliday? Well, even though it is wonderful she is rocking out and loves her body, I still am offended by her getting to be a model - and I can some it up in the following. And It's got nothing to do with her.

My opinion is - Why such the extreme? Why is this woman breaking through when none of the MEDIUMS in the world could? I am so with the #effyourbeautystandards thing, and as I said, my offense has nothing to do with the woman personally - it's the industry, and our society. So - #effyouIcanbeamodeltoo

Other than that - I got some funnies this week about Parenting: 

parenting. . III I nullam . I. Perfect picture

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Memorial Day Weekend Recap

A three day weekend has come and gone - but, I have to admit, I am honestly not glad that I had work today. I know, I must be ill in the head to say such things, but, I really actually wanted to come in today.

I have a fair amount of work to get done this week, and I think I got enough rest in this weekend to hold me over for 4 days. You know what I mean?

Friday Evening

Friday we got out of work at 2:30p - and boy oh boy was Emry ready to leave my office. He loves being there, but there is only so quiet (and well behaved) any little boy can manage. When we got home, hubby met us there, and I was able to get the grocery shopping done before heading out to the B4G class. I have mixed emotions about this past weeks B4G.

The first emotion is happy, because a my friend Helen came to speak about her Fit2Fight classes, and I love that her message really fit in well with the B4G group.

The second emotion is sad, because I connected with a woman there - and I truly feel connected to her and the situation she is in - So much so, that I am writing a whole post on it. Come back on Thursday, for my thoughts and reflections on "Doreen".

The third emotion is tired - There is only 3-4 weeks left to this program, and I really truly feel ready for it to be over. I don't mind helping, but, I got roped into 2hrs of volunteer work on a Friday night, when I really thought I was going to be there for an 1hr tops.

I got home a little late from this - because I drove Doreen and her son home - and my hubs and I curled up together. Sometimes all you need is a good cuddle to make yourself feel centered, am I right?


Saturday was sort of a laid back errand running day. I got my hair done in the morning, while Klay took care of the mowing. I came home and cleaned the bathroom, and the kitchen floor - because hubby did the vacuuming the night before. I ran out to grab $1.99 subs from Quik Check for lunch, because $1.99 subs? Duh! 

This is where the day got a little weird. We were supposed to go out with Samantha (my hair girl) and her hubby (My hubs doppleganger) for movie and drinks - so I called for a sitter. Before we went out with them, we were supposed to take Emry to the petting zoo across town with some friends.

However, this was derailed when Lissa called me, after having a really trying and awful day. She needed to vent - and offered to buy dinner - and completely understood if I already had plans. But, she really needed someone "normal" (our type of normal) to just let it out too. So, I told the petting zoo crew that we had to decline. And I was really planning on making the movie/drinks later that night. 

I got back from the vent session at 9p. I realized at this point the sitter never got back to me. So, I had to text Samantha that I had just came home, and it didn't look like we could make it. Sighs - adulting is hard work.

Klay and I opted for a night of TV watching - more cuddling - and peaceful sleep.


Sunday was really a busy day - Klay wanted to finish the weed wacking - and tend to the hops that he was growing in the backyard. My father came home with a new "friend" (read: girlfiend - re-read: so weird that my dad casually dates) and it turned into a spur of the moment BBQ. I had already planned on using the BBQ to make us (premade by the grocery store) steak kabobs with corn - However, the new galpal is a vegeterian, who eats fish (and chicken sometimes) - so my dad and she went to our local grocery store to pick up some Salmon. This means I had to clean the grill, because it was the first time of the season we've used it, and it was GRIMY looking. And find ways to stretch the other aspects of my meal - So, I made a huge salad - salad fixes everything. All in all we had a nice time, and this made the day go rather quick. However, throughout the whole day, probably due to the insta-stress and heat, I had a migraine. A little one, a functional one - however by 8p, it was not functional, and I was on the couch with my prescription and a bottle of water. I listened to Good Eats in the background - and slept on the couch, praying for the migraine to break.


Woke up with the same migraine from the night before. Extremely dehydrated - so I got done the things I had to get done. Feed the Moose, give her the NSAID for her pain, get food for the week in the crock pot, and then I died on the couch. Bottle of water, my pillow from my bed, and my stuffed penguin. In the dark living room I watched (listened to very quietly) the Scream Movie Trilogy, because - comfort and stupidity - duh.

I managed to break the migraine mid way through the day - and was able to sit up, take a shower, and even make hot dogs for dinner. I mean, living the dream, right? Haha - migraines are no fun. The whole family spent the rest of the day binge watching episodes of House. 

Notice how I never specified running or exercise the entire weekend. That's right. It didn't happen. The bruises on my legs from Wednesdays Hapkido are still pretty serious, and I forced myself to run this morning - leading to me practically collapsing when I got home. They are just bruises - but DEEP deep purple raised bruises. My leg is okay now, but, this is the major reason why I have a love/hate relationship with Hapkido. I love what I learn, but I hate the pain after training. I have to put my foot down and tell Master Mike this.

At work today - and need to get started on the mini piles around my desk.

How was your weekend?

Friday, May 22, 2015

Friday - Favorites - Thoughts - and Other things!

My son had no school today, and since we couldn't bring him today to the "No School Club" for Boys and Girls (short story - not worthy to write) I packed him up and brought him to work. Armed with my laptop, a wifi connection and unlimited Minecraft YouTube videos... I'm sure he'll make it to 2:30pm

A photo posted by Kateri Von Steal (@katvonsteal) on

I read an article today about a woman who realized she was verbally abusing her husband. Upon reading it, I sent this over to my husband "Do I do this?" I asked him. He has yet to reply, but, in one fluid wave, I realized that there are definitely times that I say things, to my husband, that are poorly worded. That sometimes, my frustration gets the better of me - and I say really stupid (poorly chosen) words. But, I am very interested to know, if overall, he thinks I do this. Either way, from this moment on - I really am going to choose my words more carefully. 

Favorite picture of the week: 

I found this picture of me this week while perusing the SPWF photographers posts. Lead picture in this guys gallery is my face. Seriously, truly overwhelmed by this. I have gotten more compliments on my looks for this event then ever before - and even an invite to help with the makeup for a local Haunted House this fall. My heart has always been in the Arts - and now, I may be getting a chance to follow it, even on a small scale.

Recent Book Devoured:  

I had been reading the "Raising Steam" book by the late (and great) Terry Pratchett, but I lost my flow with it - so I had to put it down. I picked this one up, and I swear, I just LOVED it. And this book, is the reason why I had potato chips for dinner. I had 100 pages left, and I couldn't put it down, and couldn't stop to take bites of real food. You know what I'm saying? It was a creepy story, and very well written. It takes place in two different time eras, with multiple character POV changes. McMahon truly knows how to write this, and did it well. If you liked the writing style of Girl on the Train - and like a little horror, this is the book for you.

I am one book behind my "one book a month" goal for 2015 - so I need to get my butt to B&N and get some more books. Yes, I should probably finish RS - but I'm just not ready for it. UGH. Maybe I'll finish it this weekend - - - I mean I do have 3 days off, and the only thing on my agenda is getting my hair dye refreshed and cleaning. I can read 600 pages in 3 days, right? HAHA - also, I told myself when I was done with these books, I would go get an e-reader. SO, I need to just get it done.

Cheap, but great, Beauty Find:

Hard Candy - Sheer Envy Primer - Illuminating  

Truth - I bought this product because it was cheap, and I thought it was a tube of the lavender primer you see that basically pales out your skin. I bought this because I wanted the 2nd day look for SPWF to come out really gaunt. However, upon using it, this light weird, sparkle gel was what I got. I was so upset. But, I applied it to my face, because honestly, what was the harm? And I instantly noticed something -   When you apply it by itself, it gives your skin a healthy glow while helping to conceal blemishes and other imperfections. It evens out your skin tone without altering or adding to your skin color, making it a helpful addition when you need your makeup light but want to look amazing on vacation or at the beach. It has a slight purple tint, but on your skin is practically unseen. I have been using it all week, and it hasn't caused me to break out - and it really does look great. Now, I did say there is a sparkle to it - but, that's barely noticeable on the skin as well. I will definitely be using this in the summer when we are outdoors for the Ren Faire. I hate wearing a lot of makeup in the heat, but, I also have a problem going out without it. This will be the happy medium for me.

I hope everyone has an amazing Memorial Day Weekend - Make sure to BBQ something!!!! 

Now - for the Friday Funnies:

Three Day Weekend Dance: 

Three Day Weekend Truths: 

Three Day Weekend Fail: 

And the funniest thing I have seen all week:

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Thursday Thoughts of Intolerance and Ranting

Well - This week has been a running every other day sort of thing - not because I do not want to run, but because life has really gotten in the way. Sunday was due to the poor decision making from Saturday - Tuesday was due to waking up way too late -  And today was due to last nights very aggressive Hapkido class. I have found bruises in places I wasn't sure could bruise. Tylenol is not cutting it - and I am sitting on a heating pad.

Consider me: 

I have 3 or 4 things that I have to get done today - but, I am not in the mood to do them. But, I will probably push through - and then die under my desk. Today is a read a book in the comfiest pajamas you own kind of day. I would be so content if I could just curl up with a book for the rest of the day.

We had to wake Emry up at 6:30am so he could get ready to leave for his 2nd Grade trip to the Bronx Zoo - They wanted the kids at the school at 7:30am, so that the bus could depart at 7:45am. Waking up our son 35 minutes earlier made no one content this morning. Klay and I are sore from HPK and Emry is still in a REM cycle. This resulted in us grunting and whining at each other for the morning.  

But, it being Thursday - there is some relief with that. I mean, tomorrow isn't even a full day - that's something, right? And perhaps I can go home and just die relax after I pick up Emry from the school. The buses should return from the field trip around 5p.

I came to the realization yesterday, that I am 
1) Old
2) a Mom
3) Have no tolerance

I read something completely asinine, and began to sing: 

You know who you are as a person when you adapt a Disney song to a cursive tirade. Just saying.

But even with all of my low tolerance, my epic amount of soreness - I have made pretty decent choices with my eating. Especially given the fact that I have a box of DELICIOUS chocolate truffles from SPWF (I got 12 of them, and since Friday night, I have eaten 5 - meaning I have shown great restraint) and I also have a box of Dark Chocolate Guinness Truffles that Lissa brought me back from Ireland. Normally, the stress or the pain would lead me straight to the CRAP FOOD. And I would go DEEP. I know I'm getting back on track when this thought occurred to me, and was ignored. Little victories?

I'll leave you with this. Because it is HYSTERICAL

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Confessions & Hashtags (5/20/15)

Here we are again - another Wednesday, and we are already 2/3 of the way through the month of May - I mean, when did that happen.

I'm linking up with quite a few people today, please see the buttons on the right side of the blog!

See, the thing is, when I told you I was off on Friday, I truly thought I was - only to find out that our building is closing early. I will still be home before the rush of traffic, and that's still kind of awesome - but, color me disappointed #whyGAWDwhy #stupidwork

I follow quite a few blogs, and I always try to comment - But, I must admit, even though I am aware of the "click here to prove you are not a robot", I always forget to. #notarobot #justalittleforgetful #jeezlouise #bloggingproblems

I posted my pictures from SPWF, on my personal facebook page, and I have been getting a little flack from my boss. She says it's my "dark side" coming out. Which: 1) I find kind of disrespectful 2) think is rude and 3) seriously? It's just a little makeup. I'll give you it's weird, and a little different - - But because I put (albeit scary) makeup on, and dress up in a (really cool) outfit - doesn't mean I have a dark side. And being as which she knows nothing of my past, I really think it's wrong of her to label cosplay as a dark side, just because she doesn't understand it. #tryingtokeepmymouthshut #reallywanttoputherinherplace #peoplesaystupidshit

I have been making great strides into "getting back to healthy" - last week I ran (jogged quickly) 5 out of 7 days, and this week I have ran twice (so far), and gone to 2 TKD classes. I'm feeling pretty good, and am not overly pushing myself - so I know I'll be able to keep this going. #backtohealthy #stillreallywantallthefood #nocaloriesinsmellingdeliciousness

This weekend, we really need to get the house ready for the crazy upcoming summer. Get the clutter away, get the rest of the sticks off the grass, and get to all of those "I'll do it later" chores. My hopes is to get all of my winter stuff up in the attic, as well. #cleanfreak #cluttermakesmeitch

We are starting the process of getting a new patio installed, and even though we have saved the money to get it done - I am secretly afraid to drop this amount of $$$$ - because I know the second we do, something else is going to break in the house. #whenitrainsitpours #justwanttokeepallmymoney #scaredtospendanything #reallywantthatpatiothough #itsalmostbbqseason

That's all I got today - I'll leave y'all with some funny stuff!

 Dafuq?. 1 fat guy in lingerie, 2 umpa lumpa's at his side, 2 rabbits crying wat can you say. II I an l . olmali Mr 'is THE BEST PICTURE EVER This is it. This completely sums up what i think of when i think of /b/  

dafuq did i just read. . CAME had like the best night out ' WI‘ ' I 'lilli' and haning 'l! rall' i' mm haw ‘ that our rant an and have the ; ;. wtf is "root on" ????? were they drinking root beer or doing math? im so confused by this new generation of kids...pic related i think? mfw square roo